


If Only Life Was Boring...

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Prompts! [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Beer, Cancer, Character Death, Children, Coffee, Drinking, F/M, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Lawyer Sam, Mechanic Dean, Relationship(s), Retirement, Sex, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:05:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: This story is a part of a larger piece called 'Prompts, Bitch!' that I have been working on. It is a prompt-based work of several stories. I am publishing them individually also.The characters involved are from my ongoing series. You do not need to know them in order to enjoy this stand-alone.Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Supernatural Universe. I am just playing in their sandbox.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Submitted Prompt: Ok so there's no hunting in this prompt, anddddd I do go into a bit of detail but feel free to change whatever you want! This is just me going overboard as usual lol. Ok so Dean and Sam are brothers; Dean owns a small yet very successful garage that specializes in classic car restoration and Sam is an Assistant District Attorney. Lizzy and Lou are sisters; Lizzy owns a dance studio (she got injured while attending Juliard, effectively ending her chance at a professional dance career, but still loves teaching children and teenagers to dance) and Lou is a bartender at the most popular bar in the city, where she is has a regular gig every week to sing and play guitar and everybody loves her. Perhaps the boys meet the girls one night at the bar when Lou is performing, with Lizzy overhearing Sam tell Dean how mesmerized he is by Lou. They all hit it off and then you can take it from there ;) As if that's not enough, I would like to see (if possible) certain hi-lights of their relationships such as a date or two, proposals, weddings and babies. Maybe after the initial meeting you could do like 1 year later, 2 years later, etc. However it works for you to get the hi-lights of their relationships in there. Of course, smut is ALWAYS welcome and very much appreciated ;) hope you can work with that! Sorry if it's too much! Just use whatever you want :)

* * *

"Hey," Dean greets as he slides into the barstool next to his younger brother on a Saturday night. He sighs out a groan as he slumps down and leans his elbows into the bar top with relief to be exactly where he is. A bar.

"Hey," Sam greets back and slides over a bottle of cheap beer that he already had ordered for his older brother.

"Yes," Dean exhales happily and snatches up the beer with glee. He taps the neck of his bottle to Sam's half empty one and guzzles down a solid amount. He's ten minutes late. Got to catch up.

"You sounded like you had a long week on the phone," Sam mentions as Dean lets out a very loud 'ah'.

"Yup," he answers in a still slightly surly tone. "Benny took the long weekend and I'm wrecked. Soon as he leaves everyone's got a problem with their old cars and need them fixed yesterday. Fucking Benny."

"Glad I called then," Sam huffs a slight laugh and shrugs off his suit jacket.

"Why you dressed like that on a weekend?" Dean asks with a scrunched up face.

"Had to work today too," he explains and hooks the jacket under the bar. Sure, those hooks are meant for purses but oh well. Good enough. "And we had a possible high profile case come in today."

"On a weekend?"

"The law applies seven days a week," Sam smirks.

"Sucks," Dean grumps, taking another long drag off his bottle of beer. He then asks, "You work too much."

"I'm an ADA," Sam reminds with a small grin.

"Yeah, and you're still just a dude in his twenties," Dean tells him as if he'd forgotten.

"So?"

"So… you act like you're forty," Dean huffs out. "Act your age for a minute, huh? Get a little drunk. Get laid now and then. You know… stuff people in their friggin' twenties do."

"You mean, act like you?" Sam challenges.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Dean, you're thirty-three."

"I'm immature for my age," Dean smirks back and kills his first beer. He then looks around the bar they're in, one he's never been to before. He generally sticks to dives in the area of town he lives in but Sam gave him this address through text at the end of his work day and he just went. Now he recognizes the trendy wood walls, faux-vintage décor, and hipster crowd surrounding them. "Dude, where the _hell_ are we?"

"Brewtopia," Sam answers back without thinking.

"Brew-what?" Dean questions with disgust.

"It's the closest bar to where I work," Sam excuses, having already known Dean would scoff at the new and trendy place. "It's where I get coffee every morning."

"Coffee!? I thought this was a bar," Dean bitches, leaning over the bar top to look around for booze.

"It is. It's a coffee shop by day and a brewery by night. Get it? They brew both," Sam tries to make it sound like no big deal but he can tell Dean's not excited about this. "It's a pretty good business model, actually. They can stay open all day and make good money. They have damn good coffee."

Dean lets out a groan and drops his head. "It finally happened."

"What?"

"You went full hipster."

"Did not," Sam answers and gets offended.

"You did."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did," Dean says again, looking right at him with pure disappointment. "Do we need to get you a pointless tattoo of an arrow on your wrist while you grow out your mustache now? Maybe put your hair in a man-bun?"

"Hey, you're the one wearing flannel," Sam points out, pulling on the shoulder of Dean's plaid over shirt to make a point.

"I don't wear it ironically though," Dean counters.

"How does one wear flannel ironically?" Sam wonders.

Dean doesn't have an answer for though. "Whatever, you hipster…."

"How we doing over here?" a voice cuts into their conversation. Both men turn to look at the girl behind the bar.

Dean immediately smiles the smile he knows has a tendency to melt panties the second he sees her. Dark hair, dark eyes, killer rack in a low cut shirt, beautiful face. Done. "Better now that you're here."

Sam immediately rolls his eyes as the bartender laughs. "Lizzy, this is my brother. And I'm sorry in advance for his mouth."

She laughs some more before eyeing Dean over. "I don't know. I kinda like his mouth."

Dean grins wider for that.

"You guys want another round?"

"Yeah. I'll have the IPA," Sam answers quickly, looking to let Lizzy go do her thing and help her avoid the flirt-storm about to come her way.

"Sure thing," Lizzy nods and looks at Dean. "And for you, lips?"

He huffs a laugh at her forwardness. A ballbuster. He likes that. "What do you suggest?"

"Any of our house brews are pretty damn good," she informs him as she purposefully leans over the bar onto her elbows. He can see straight down her shirt. "What kind of beer do you usually like best?"

"Usually? Whiskey," Dean answers her truthfully as he wills his eyes to remain on hers and nowhere below her neckline despite her clear challenge.

She smiles wide at that. Dean can literally feel his heart speed up when he sees every white straight tooth. It's one of the most genuine smiles he's seen in a long time.

"We have a Kentucky style breakfast stout aged in bourbon barrels for nine months on nitro," Lizzy tells him.

Dean nods as if he's considering the idea of all that.

"You have no idea what I just said, do you?" Lizzy grins even brighter when she can see the confusion hidden behind his cool exterior.

"Not a friggin' clue," Dean admits and she laughs out brightly. "This isn't my usual kinda joint."

"How about you just trust me to take care of you, huh?" Lizzy suggests as she places a hand on top of one of his lightly.

"Oh, sweetheart… you can take care of me anytime you want," Dean promises right back.

She snorts out a laugh and pats his hand before she walks away. As she reaches for some clean pint glasses she glances back at the men, making eye contact with Dean for just a second before getting to work.

"Dude! Now I know why you come here!" Dean comments quietly but with huge excitement, smacking Sam in the chest with the back of his hand.

"Lizzy is not the reason I come here," Sam says with slight disappointment in his brother.

"Damn," Dean comments, watching her ass as she bends down low to grab something behind the bar. "I'd come to this hipster-hole every day for _her_. I think you've been holding out on me."

"No way," Sam says absently as he looks off to the corner of the open barroom. He smiles to himself when he sees a petite blonde woman settling into a stool in the corner with her acoustic guitar, a microphone set up in front of her.

"Good evening, everyone," a voice says to the moderate crowd of about thirty people. A few clap, clearly knowing her already, and Sam joins them. "Hope you're here for a while. I will be, so keep me company, okay? I swear I don't suck."

"What the hell is this? Poetry hour?" Dean nods over to the woman quickly tuning her guitar and reminding people she takes requests.

"Poetry with a guitar?" Lizzy cuts in and places a pint on a coaster in front of each man. "I think they call that music, Dean." She smirks.

"Oh, is that what that is?" Dean leans into the bar and flashes his best grin again.

"It's what most of us call it at least. And she's damn good… right Sam?" She locks eyes with Sam and watches him turn red.

"Yeah… she's pretty good," Sam nods and looks away, drinking a gulp of beer down to avoid what he knows is coming.

Lizzy sighs and looks at Dean. "Sam's got a thing for her, I'm pretty sure."

"Oh yeah, Sammy?" Dean delights at the news.

"No I don't," Sam tries to calmly deny. "She… she's just got a good voice. I like it."

"Yeah, that's why you've been here every Saturday for a month, right?" Lizzy rolls her eyes.

Dean's face lightens up with the news. "My shut in brother has been out on Saturdays for a month?"

"Shut up," Sam quickly grumps, put on the spot.

"Look, I told you before you should just talk to her," Lizzy reminds him. "You're her type, I promise."

"Nah," Sam blushes harder, looking at the singer. "She doesn't seem like the corporate type."

"No… but she's the tall, dark and handsome type." Lizzy grins at him in a comforting way. "Trust me. No one knows her better than me."

"She your bestie or something?" Dean asks, trying to get back into the conversation with the hot girl.

"Absolutely. And she just happens to be my sister too," Lizzy explains. She then knocks on the bar top twice and points to the glass in front of Dean. "Enjoy that. Let me know if I got it right." She winks and walks away to serve more customers.

Dean picks up his glass and looks to Sam, his brother's eyes locked once more on the singer. The expression of clear puppy love is there. "Oh man," he laughs.

"What?" Sam asks defensively.

"You got it bad," Dean keeps laughing and Sam tries to ignore him.

"Seriously? No requests?" the singer asks the crowd around her, disappointed. "You guys are lame."

"Freebird!" Dean shouts outs in his usual annoying ways, getting minimal chuckles around him combined with some groans.

"Ah… there's our comedian of the night!" she points at him from across the room. "There's always one. Hey, man. I can totally play Freebird if you want but for fuck's sake, give me a challenge, would you?"

"Alright… how about Pearl Jam?" Dean tries again, grabbing Sam's shoulder and shaking a little. "My little brother loves Pearl Jam, right?" He looks over to see his brother beet-red and angry. "What? You do!"

The singer's mouth turns up in the corners as her blue eyes lock onto Sam's. "I love Pearl Jam too. Any specific song, handsome?"

Sam's back stiffens with the question followed up with a compliment and he sighs while sputtering a bit. "I, uh… um…." He's searching his brain desperately to come up with something non-hit to prove his Pearl Jam fandom-worth to this very talented musician. "What about… Low Light?"

Her eyes light up with the suggestion. "Wow. You really _are_ a fan."

Sam just smiles nervously. He can stand in front of a courtroom without breaking a sweat but this girl looking at him with pleasant surprise is making him so anxious.

"Great song. Really nice pick," Lou tells him and she looks down at her guitar. She thinks real quick, marks out her finger placement a couple times, and she huffs a laugh. "Haven't played this one in a long ass time. Hope I do it justice."

She plays the opening chords, eyes closed as she leans into the microphone.

"Clouds roll by. Reeling is what they say. Or is it just my way? Wind blows by…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"And this bird you cannot change!"

The ending riff is played out on acoustic and is shockingly impressive. Fingers flying, Lou knows she has to impress the annoying guy at the bar and make him shut up. The third time he shouted Freebird it became a total test. She's acing it and knows it.

When she finishes off the song and exhales hard as the room claps for her somewhat enthusiastically for an acoustic crowd at a mellow bar. There's one unmistakable whoop and a 'Yeah!' from the bar. She smiles over at the annoying 'Freebird' guy and gives him the middle finger. "Screw you, dude. I rocked the shit outta that," she laughs out and places her guitar in the stand next to her. "Alright, I'm gonna take a break, you drunks. Go get a shot or something. And tip the hot ass bartender well, huh?"

As Lou gets up from her stool her eyes slide to the bar where 'Freebird' is sitting back down. He smiles at his brother warmly as he picks up his pint again. She studies the taller of the two with his shaggy brown hair and strong, chiseled face. Maybe she should actually talk to him tonight. He's been around every Saturday night she's player for a week straight. And he's hot. Very hot. She remembers the first time she witnessed him standing up and she nearly choked on her words mid-Billie Jean cover. He's so tall. So tall. She may have fantasized about climbing him after seeing how tall he is.

As she makes it to the end of the bar closest to where she's been playing, her sister is smiling and placing a bottle of water and a shot of Jack Daniels onto the bar top for her.

"Aw, you know me so well," Lou smirks as she stands there across from her sister.

"Nice work on Freebird," Lizzy comments as Lou takes the shot. "Shut him right up."

"Hey, don't challenge me with covers, man," Lou cocks an eyebrow. "I'll make you regret it."

"I would never," Lizzy surrenders, hands up.

"Put that on our tab!"

Both women look down the bar to see 'Freebird' leaning way over the bar and grinning at them.

"She already gets a free shot for singing," Lizzy smiles at him. At least he's generous.

"Then pour another… make it round. On us!" Dean keeps trying as he waves them down the bar.

Lizzy looks at her sister. "What do you think? They're pretty harmless." She shrugs.

"Please," Lou calls her out as she cracks open her water. "You like Freebird."

Lizzy smiles knowingly. "Fair. But Sam's super cute. And he's totally got a thing for you."

"Yeah?" Lou asks after a gulp of water.

"Oh god, definitely," Lizzy laughs. "He's been giving you googly-eyes for a month. Go talk to him and make his night, huh? And be nice! He's a sweet guy."

"Mm, I love sweet guys," Lou nearly growls, looking down at Sam's profile as he smiles at something his brother said.

"You love to crush them like bugs. Just be nice this time, okay? He's not like the usual guys you like," Lizzy warns, having gotten a soft spot for Sam right off.

"Yeah, his brother is," Lou laughs, already getting a picture of who these two are.

"Just go say hi and get your shot, huh?" Lizzy sasses back and walks for the Jack bottle behind the bar along with some shot glasses.

Lou makes her way down the bar a bit, just catching 'Freebird' elbowing his brother when he sees her approaching. It's cute, she has to admit.

"Hey there," Lou says to them both, leaning sideways into the bar next to Sam as she evaluates them both up close. If she thought they were hot from afar she's now seeing that they are in fact stunning up close. And they look nothing alike. One is rugged and classic bad-boy hot and the other is a unique brand of overall shy yet standout, can't-miss-him handsome. One is in jeans and an old band shirt, the other has on a button down and slacks. They're polar opposites.

"I should apologize for my brother," tall guy says to her right off. "I told him to relax with the Freebird."

"Eh, I think I showed him," Lou smiles up at him as even while sitting down he's taller than her. She holds out a hand to him. "Lou."

"Sam," he responds, shaking her hand and she can feel a slight shake to his grip. "This is Dean."

"Aw, I was just gonna keep calling him Freebird," Lou jokes as she nods at Dean.

"Best live cover of Freebird I've ever heard!" Dean excitedly tells her. "Damn. You're good!"

"Thanks," she laughs at how amped up he is while Lizzy lines up four shot glasses and starts pouring.

"Hey, made my shitty day way better," Dean lets her know.

"And what could possibly make a happy guy like you have a shitty day?" Lou wonders, seeing his dopey smile that looks a little lubricated with booze.

"Eh, work stuff," he brushes off. "Nothing some beer and shots can't fix."

"And ain't that just what I'm here for?" Lizzy grins and pushes a shot to each person at the bar. "Thanks, boys." She lifts her glass.

They pick theirs up and clink. All shots downed, Lizzy collects the glassware as Sam makes a sour face.

"Not much of a shot taker, Sam?" Lou asks him, eyes locked on his. Up close she's having a hard time figuring out his eye color. Hazel? Kind of green? Grey/blue? She has no idea. She just knows she likes them.

"Not usually," he admits. "I'm getting used to the occasional glass of good scotch at the end of a long day but I don't usually do shots."

"And what is it you do during these long days of yours, hm?" Lou wonders, leaning into her hand with an elbow on the bar. She looks at him intently.

"I'm the ADA for Yolo county," Sam says simply, no pride at all.

"ADA! Mister Fancy!" Lou jokes with him. "And here I was thinking _I_ was doing prestigious stuff."

"What do you do?"

"You're looking at it!" she gestures around her.

Sam just stares at her. "You work here?"

"I _own_ here," she corrects. "This is my place."

"No kidding!" Sam delights. "I come in here every morning for coffee. Never seen you around."

"I make my presence known at night mostly," Lou explains. "Mornings aren't really my thing… even if drinking coffee is."

"So… do you brew the beer or…?"

"Hell no," she laughs. "It's a friend of mine that does it. We're partnered up. I roast the coffee, he brews the beer. It's a good partnership."

"The Sumatran blend I get every single morning?"

"Roasted, by hand, by yours truly," Lou smirks, hands on her hips with pride.

"That's my favorite roast," Sam smiles at her, dimples out.

Lou's heart skips with the somehow boyish grin on such a statuesque man. "Mine too. I mean, I like them all since I roast them all… but if I had to pick one of my babies as my favorite, it's the Sumatran."

"I'll never stray then."

"Better not," Lou smiles and pushes him in the shoulder flirtatiously. Sounds like you're one of our best customers. I'd hate to lose you."

Sam nods, highly impressed. "But wait… does that mean you don't do anything at all with music?"

"That's just my hobby, I guess you could say," she explains. "I love music. Played it my whole life. Started with piano and worked up from there. But realistically… that's not a career choice."

"You could do it," Sam says with certainty. "Totally. You have a great voice."

"So do hundreds of girls," Lou laughs, flattered. "But thanks."

"You're welcome," Sam softly smiles back and looks down at his beer on the bar, hands wrapped around it.

He's so damn cute. The way he hides from her behind his shaggy hair after complimenting her is too much.

"I gotta get back," Lou says to him. "Any last requests?"

Dean's ear perk up and he turns away from his side conversation with Lizzy to look at her. "You know any Zeppelin?"

"Is the fucking sky blue?" Lou laughs at his question.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Okay, so here's the deal," Lizzy says quietly as Lou plays her last song of the night and Sam's in the bathroom. She's been waiting for this opportunity to speak to Dean alone half the night. She curls her finger, beckoning him to come closer. He leans in over the bar a bit and she leans down on her elbows towards him. "I know Sam's got a thing for my sister."

"You think?" Dean says, obviously agreeing.

"But he's shy. I can tell."

"Sam talking to a girl is pretty nightmare-ish," Dean shakes his head, eyes closed. "He's like a virgin at the Playboy Mansion, I swear.

"But it's cute," Lizzy adds in the caveat, laughing at Dean's comparison. "My sister, however… she's not shy. _At all_."

"That could be a good thing though," Dean comments. "He needs the push."

"She's a fucking maneater. She'll scare him away," Lizzy explains, dropping a napkin on the bar top and sliding over to him. "So… I need your help."

Dean takes the napkin and looks. Two numbers, one labeled Lou and the one under it labeled Lizzy.

"You need to steal his phone. Put her number in it and tell him to text her for dinner. If he tries to ask her out here in person she'll just try to go home with him tonight."

"Good!" Dean cheers. "He needs to get laid so bad…."

"Well, Lou doesn't," Lizzy interrupts him, knowing time is limited. "She needs a date… not a one night stand."

"What about you?" Dean asks and changes the subject to something more selfish. "What do you need? Date? One nighter? I mean, I can do either. Or both, really."

Lizzy's face spreads out into a wide smile. "Focus."

Dean's face falls.

"Will you talk to him, get him to text her?" Lizzy keeps trying, already knowing Sam would be too good for her sister.

"I'll do what I can," Dean promises, pocketing the napkin. Dean winks at her.

Lizzy just smiles at him with thankfulness for the help as Sam sits back into his stool.

"Can we get the check, Lizzy?" Sam asks, knowing it's after last call.

"Sure thing," she answers in a friendly tone and walks for the register.

Sam then turns around and glances at Lou out of the corner of his eyes. He's nervous. She's going to finish singing soon and he might be left to make small talk with her awkwardly. He'd love to ask her to see him some time, maybe even go home with him… but that's never been his thing. He's too shy for that and he is fully aware of the goofy, painfully weird person he becomes when one on one with a woman he's attracted to and likes. Why is he so awkward?

"Thanks, sweetheart," Dean says and it brings Sam out of his brain. He watches Dean grinning wide with confidence at Lizzy, her hand lingering on his a little longer than necessary as she hands over their check for the night.

Right, _that's_ why he's a dork with girls. Dean got all the fucking swag. Jerk.

"On me," Sam tells him and snatches the receipt from Dean's grip.

"Uh, alright. Not gonna fight you on that one," Dean huffs out and kills the last gulp in his pint glass.

"Hey, I know you don't like newer bars that don't smell like mold and stale beer so I owe you." Sam pulls out his credit card.

"Actually… I kinda like this place," Dean admits, eyes glued to Lizzy's ass as she moves around behind the bar to close out the night.

"No… you like the bartender," Sam clarifies, sliding the check and his card to the inner edge of the bar. "There's a difference."

"Can you blame me?" Dean asks her.

Sam just laughs a little, thanking god that Lou chose to play American Pie at the end of the night. Long song. He can leave before she's done.

"You gonna stay?" Sam asks, nodding in Lizzy's direction.

Dean thinks about it hard, really wishing he could stay and see if she'd be up for more fun after her shift ends. "Nah," he thinks better of it. "She doesn't seem like the type."

"She is," Sam smirks. "Saw he leave early one week with some guy. You got a good shot."

"Yeah… maybe another time," Dean denies as Lizzy comes over, grabs Sam's card, and leave to run it, her eyes always on Dean.

"You feeling alright?" Sam asks with shock.

"Damn good. Why?"

"I just… I've never seen you turn down a night of fun with a hot girl before. Dude, she's eyeing you. She's hoping you stay."

Dean's hand lands on the pocket of his jeans where he's stowing the napkin she gave him with her phone number on it. "I got a feeling I'll see her again."

"You got her number, didn't you?" Sam gets annoyed.

"He sure did," Lizzy grins and place a receipt copy for Sam to sign and his card on the bar. "Didn't even have to ask, either. Have a good night, boys." She winks at Dean and gets back to work.

"Bastard," Sam mutters and signs quickly, leaving a generous tip. He quickly stands up and grabs his suit blazer from under the bar.

"Wait… don't you wanna talk to Lou before we go?" Dean tries to stop him.

"She's busy," he shrugs and puts on his jacket.

"Give her a minute and she won't be," Dean tells him, knowing the song is almost over.

"I don't want to bother her," Sam shrugs it off and starts for the door.

"Whoa, whoa," Dean stops his brother with a hand clamped around his arm. Sam pauses and looks at Dean still in his bar stool. "You're not gonna bother her by talking to her."

"She's had a long night," Sam excuses. "So have I. I gotta get more work done tomorrow anyways. Probably already stayed out too long as it is." With that, Sam turns around and heads out the door.

Sighing with sheer let down, though what different actions could he have expected from Sam anyways, Dean stands up. He chances a glance back at Lizzy to find her staring at him with complete disappointment. Dean just shakes his head with loss and waves to her, departing for the night. He catches her returning to another customer, a man on the other end of the bar, and her smile makes his heart drop. Maybe he should have played this differently. She might go home with someone else and he could end up missing out completely.

Nah. He'll play this right this time. He doesn't know why, but he will.

After saying goodnight to Sam, promising to meet up for pizza and The Walking Dead the next night before another long week of work, Dean gets into his beloved car. Starting her up, he sits back for a second, phone in hand as he thinks. Should he? Shouldn't he?

"Ah, fuck it," Dean says to himself, pulling out the napkin he was given. He types in Lizzy's number and a text message.

_It's Dean. Just wanted to say I'm glad my brother brought me to your lame hipster bar tonight. Had fun talking to you. I should come by more often… just saying._

Okay, that's dumb. He can't send that lame shit to the really cool, really hot chick he just met. She'll think he's a total dork….

Through the car he can hear a giggle he's come to know well in the last several hours. Looking into his rearview mirror to the front entrance of the bar behind him, he catches sight of Lizzy walking out and laughing with the guy from the other end of the bar.

She's leaving with him. He did blow it! He misjudged this completely!

Panicking, Dean presses send on the text message.

"Shit! No!" he instantly regrets as the text sends and there's nothing he can do to stop it. "Fuck me!"

With wide, anxious eyes, Dean once more watches her in the rearview. He sees when Lizzy pauses on her way to a car with her guy of the night to pull her phone out of her back pocket. Checking the text message she just received, Dean's nerves calm when he watches a sweet, warm smile spread across her face. She bites her bottom lip for a second before she once more looks to the man she's leaving with. He can't hear the conversation but the disappointed look on the guy's face as she pulls her own keys from her purse is priceless.

And the huge, triumphant grin of his own as he watches her leave alone feels like victory.

His smile is even bigger than that one the next morning when he wakes to find a text response inviting him to come see her any Wednesday or Saturday night that she's working if he wants.

Turning over in bed for the twentieth time, Sam sighs heavily. He can't sleep. And hour of trying and he's wide awake.

He's a god damn coward. That's what it is. It's regret.

All he had to do what talk to her at the end of the night. Just stay at the bar a few more minutes, maybe ask for her number. He got a great vibe from Lou, a really great vibe. She probably would have given her number to him.

That's the story of his life. Missed opportunity, especially with women. He blew it with Jess by not making enough time for her while working his way through grad school and he was a total chicken shit the moment Amelia talked about moving to the East coast. He knew he'd never follow her. He's let his job aspirations, his fear of change, and his anxiety over women ruin every chance he's had.

And now here he is, lying in a king sized bed alone yet again because he's a wimp.

Next week, he thinks. Next week he's getting her number and asking her out. Dinner. That's what he'll do. Even if he acts awkward and embarrasses himself maybe he won't end up alone in his bed every night. The change has to start somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dude… did you get any meat on either of these?" Dean angrily asks as he opens up the second box of pizza his brother had delivered, already upset with what he saw in box number one.

"I got a veggie deluxe and a Hawaiian," Sam explains, pulling two beers from his refrigerator. "Hawaiian has ham."

"And fruit!" Dean bitches.

"You'll survive," Sam laughs and stands next to his brother. They plate up a few slices each at the counter and make their way to the living room to set up for the night. This was their ritual. Sunday meant The Walking Dead and pizza. They switched off apartments each week, Sam being up for this particular Saturday.

Taking a massive bite of Hawaiian, Dean sits back as Sam gets up again before really settling in.

"Bathroom break before zombies," Sam offhandedly explains as he drops his cell phone on the coffee table. He then points to the TV. "Pause it if it starts."

"Will do," Dean promises.

"Seriously! Pause it!" Sam warns as he walks down the short hallway.

"I will. Damn," Dean mutters and reaches for the remote on the coffee table just in case. He stops mid reach when he realizes Sam left his phone just sitting there. Unattended. And in front of Dean.

He smiles to himself.

"Aw, Sammy," Dean says quietly, snatching up the phone and looking down the hall to make sure it's still clear from Sam's eyes. "Don't you know better than to trust me by now?"

Quickly, Dean pulls out the napkin he was given last night. After two guesses he figures out Sam's security code on his phone and programs in Lou's number. He then decides to just go for it and not think about it too much. He knows if he tried to talk Sam into texting Lou on his own he wouldn't. So instead he gives him a little push.

_Hey Lou. It's Sam from the bar last night. Your sister gave me your number. I hope that's alright with you and all. I was wondering what you were doing next weekend. Maybe we could get dinner or something?_

Dean rereads it quickly. Sounds sappy enough. And slightly awkward. Perfect. He sends the text message just as he hears the toilet flush. He then swiftly drops the phone back onto the coffee table right where he took it from and sits back casually, plate of pizza in his lap.

"Dude!" Sam gets angry as he walks in and points to the TV.

"Shit," Dean complains, the show already on. "It's just the credits. You didn't miss anything."

"Cold open, dude! I asked you to pause it," Sam complains, sitting onto the couch and mirroring Dean with his plate in his lap.

"We can go back. It's fucking digital, you Nazi," Dean fights back.

"Not the point and you know it," Sam gets mad. "All you had to do was pay attention."

"I paid attention."

"No, clearly you didn't…."

"Blow me, Sam. You didn't miss anything we can't rewind."

"I swear, Dean…." Sam cuts himself off when his phone buzzes on the glass coffee table. He grabs it and checks his incoming text message.

_Did you just ask me out on a date? Wow! I thought you were too shy for that shit._

Sam looks at the message dumbfounded. Date? He didn't ask anyone out on a date. Who the hell is this?

His face goes sheet white when he sees the name. 'Hot Lou from Hipster Bar'.

Whipping his head to the side, getting an eyeful of a very guilty looking older brother pretending to watch the show instead of knowing he's in trouble, Sam blows up. "What did you do!?"

"What?" Dean asks, feigning confusion.

Sam holds his phone screen out for Dean to read. "What did you do, Dean!?"

"Nothing…" he answers. Then he adds, "That you shouldn't have done on your own already."

"What the fuck!?" Sam tosses his plate on the coffee table and stands up. "You're interfering with my social life like this now!?"

"What social life?" Dean mutters to himself but Sam hears it.

"That's a new low, Dean!"

"Unbunch, Sam!" Dean shouts back and leans back into the couch, ready for the fight. "I just gave you the little push you needed."

"You stole my phone while I was in the bathroom and asked a girl out for me! How do you even know I _want_ to go on a date with her!?"

"You _don't_?" Dean challenges with total disbelief.

"I… I would like to make that decision on my own, thank you!" Sam yells back.

"Well, I helped you make the _right_ decision. Sue me," Dean shrugs. "You weren't gonna make a move if I didn't do it for you."

"You… you don't know that!"

Dean doesn't bother giving a rebuttal for that. He just shares a knowing look with his little brother.

"You can't just fuck with people's lives like this, Dean!"

"I'm not _fucking_ with your life, okay?" Dean speaks in a calmer tone as he stands up. He looks Sam in the eyes. "You have been so focused on your career for so long that life is just kinda passing you by. You don't really leave this apartment and when you do it's for work. Or drinks after work with your coworkers. Last night was a rarity and you know it."

"What's your point?" Sam grumps, hands on his hips.

"You need to find something, Sam," Dean tells him. "You need to, I don't know… be a person."

"I _am_ a person."

"No, you're a lawyer and that's it. You need fun. You need a girl. Go on a date, have sex for once… and stop shutting yourself in with your briefcase every damn night."

"Oh, so I should be like you?" Sam turns the tables defensively. "Work all week and then spend the weekend drunk and hooking up with random strangers?"

"Not what I'm saying," Dean shakes his head. "My life isn't exactly what it should be at this point either. I know that. But I know _you_. We're talking about _you_ here. You like her. She digs you. So go find out more about her. Grab dinner. Relax for a second. Live, huh?"

Sam just stares at his brother, hating the perfect sense he's making. The stubborn streak runs deep within him.

"At least text her back," Dean tells him, pointing to the phone in Sam's hand. "Go with it and take her out. What's the worst that could happen?" Sam looks at the phone but doesn't make any other move. "Or fucking don't. Be honest and tell her I sent the text and go back on it. What the fuck ever. Just answer her, would you?"

Dean plops down onto the couch again and grabs his beer, taking a long pull from it with defeat. He tried at least. He can always say he tried to help his brother get out of his comfort zone and possibly be happy.

And Sam thinks. He knows Dean's right as much as he'd rather gargle glass than admit it. And he really does want to see more of Lou. Something about her just keeps him thinking about her. She pops into his mind randomly through the day. He thinks about her when a song she's known to cover comes on the radio of the car.

He really likes her and Dean just created the opportunity to see her.

With an angry sigh, Sam drops down into his spot on the couch and starts typing a message in response. He knows Dean's watching him. "Take the smug look off your face."

"My expression is blank."

"It's never blank."

Dean smirks smugly with self-pride.

Sam ignores him, never looking at him, as he sends Lou a message.

_Well, maybe I should have asked you sooner. But how about next Friday? Are you around?_

When he pushes send his stomach ties in knots. What the hell is he doing? Just asking a girl out like this? Over a text message? How classy….

_Hey, I like shy guys. They're very cute. And I'd love to get dinner with you. It's a date._

Sam looks at his phone with total shock. She'd love to get dinner with him? Seriously?

When Sam exhales the breath he'd been holding onto way too hard, he relaxes a bit.

And Dean doesn't miss the reaction. "Told you."

"Shut up," Sam responds as he types back, setting up a time and offering to pick her up. "Jerk."

"You wimpy little bitch," Dean mutters while grinning ear to ear as he sips on his beer and waits for Sam to be done talking to the cute girl from the bar so they can watch The Walking Dead.

* * *

 

"Whoa," Lou awes as she looks around the restaurant they just walked into. Sam's right behind her after having held the door for her and he heads right for the hostess. "This place is… swanky."

The restaurant Sam picked is a new place, trendy with a menu he that held dishes he hadn't quite heard of before. He wanted to impress her so he went with it. Her reaction makes him worry a bit.

"Hi. I have a reservation for two. Sam Winchester," Sam informs the hostess as Lou continues to look at the upscale decor with wide eyes.

Quickly they get seated by the big front window on one of the main streets of Sacramento and Sam gets handed an extensive wine list. Once the hostess leaves them for a moment Sam's eyes grow very wide as he looks at the far too many options in front of him.

"Uh… so… I probably should have asked before now… but do you even drink wine?" he starts to worry right off. Why didn't he ask her about what she likes before coming here?

"I'm usually more of a beer person but I've been known to drink wine on occasion," she nods while explaining. "I mean, we do live in California." She smiles warmly at him, seeing his fear all over his face. She just wants him to relax at this point.

"Great," Sam huffs a sad laugh. "I brought you to a place that specializes in wine and you don't really drink it. I'm sorry, I should have text you and asked what you like…."

"Hold up," Lou laughs and puts her hands out, asking him to stop right there. "Dude. It's fine. This is all more than fine. I haven't been taken to a place like this in… damn, forever. I'm very happy to be here. I'm happy to drink some kick ass wine. And I'm happy to do it with you."

The way she grins at him makes him smile right back, his shoulders dropping. Damn, she's pretty cool already.

"Now, only problem I see is that I don't know what I like in wine, honestly," Lou keeps going. "I spend most days going around tasting coffee and beer to know where the competition stands. Wine doesn't factor into my line of work. So I might need some help on that… if you don't mind."

"I think I can do that," Sam says to her, looking at the list. "Red or white?"

"Uh… I've drank both and been happy," she shrugs.

"Okay… we'll go red," Sam nods. "Sweet or dry?"

She makes a face that tells him she's not sure. "If I had to guess… dry?"

"Do you know the difference from pinot noir and a solid cab sav?"

Lou bites her bottom lip for a second and then laughs.

"No. That's fine," Sam laughs a little and spots a bottle he just had recently and knows is great on the list. "I got it. As long as you like deep, serious wines with a peppery finish, I think I got this one."

"Going with you, big man," Lou keeps grinning while folding her hands onto the white table cloth.

Sam takes a second to smile back while looking at her. He doesn't really notice so much the effort she put in with her lined eyes and long blonde hair that she curled just for the date. Hell, he honestly doesn't even bother getting a good look at the deep neckline of the shirt she chose for the night. He just sees her smiling. She's beautiful.

"Good evening," a server says and interrupts the short, lovely moment. "I'm Sue. I'm going to be helping you tonight. Do you have any questions about the wine menu I can answer for you? Or maybe some recommendations?"

"I think we're good," Sam informs her. "Could we get a bottle of the Martin Ray 2009 Reserve Cab?"

The server nods enthusiastically. "Absolutely. I love that one. Serious nose and the lingering pepper… I love that bottle. Can I get you anything to go with it? I always suggest the charcuterie plate for two that's made for bold red wines."

Sam looks to Lou with a cocked eyebrow, asking if she's like that.

"What the hell, huh?" Lou says to the server. "He's still trying to impress me so let's go for it."

Sue laughs. "I'll get you set up."

She walks away and Lou and looks to Sam. "Well, shit, Sammy-boy. You know what you're talking about. Big wine drinker?"

"Uh, sometimes," Sam nods. "Truth?"

"I prefer it."

"I had this bottle at a coworker's house a month or two back. It was good so I figured why not? Most of those wines on that list… no clue."

Lou lets go of an honest laugh at that. "You more of a beer guy? Or maybe whiskey?"

"I'm more of a coffee guy," Sam corrects. "But when I do drink it's usually beer. With my brother."

"Ah, so he's just a bad influence on you?" Lou wonders lightly.

"Terrible," Sam grins. "No, he's not a bad influence. He just likes to have fun. But he's a really good guy."

"I hope so," Lou mentions, picking up a menu and looking it over.

"Why's that?" he wonders, confused.

"Because my sister's been talking about him all freakin' week," Lou complains. "So over it."

Sam wrinkles his expression and thinks about it. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. She's always showing me these texts he's been sending her and how funny they are… but they aren't _that_ funny. Kinda lame, actually," Lou looks up and finds Sam looking surprised. "What?"

"They've been texting?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Dean never said a word to me," Sam gets confused.

Lou eyes him funny. "Is it weird that he didn't?"

"Uh… yeah. It is," he answers, clearly put off by this detail. "I mean, I knew he had her number but I just figured he was trying to take her home for the night or something." Sam then realizes what he just said to Lizzy's sister. "Not that I'm saying it'd work or anything. I'm not… you know… trying to say you're sister's… um…."

"My sister's what, Sam?" Lou challenges with a serious face when he stutters about his possible misstep.

He sighs. "I'm not saying your sister's easy or anything. I'm not saying she'd fall for Dean's bullshit, is all."

Lou laughs and breaks her act. "Relax. She is easy sometimes. And honestly I'm surprised she didn't try to go home with him last Saturday in the first place."

"Right?" Sam nods, glad she's on the same page with him. "I mean, Dean's a good guy. Really good guy, which is why his one night stand shtick is super old to me by now."

"I hear that," Lou nods. "It'd be nice to see Lizzy chat up a guy for something more than a one-time deal. She claims she's too busy for that shit but I know better."

"Are you sure that your sister and my brother aren't actually the same person?"

"No. I'm not," Lou laughs. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm some saint over here. I've done my fair share of damage… but after a while, you know… it gets old. Sometimes…." She pauses, worried about saying too much for a first date. Then she says screw it. "Sometimes looking for something more isn't such a terrible thing."

Sam looks down at his menu and swallows hard. "It isn't a terrible thing at all." He then glances up through his hair that's hopefully shading his red cheeks from her.

"Oh man," Lou huffs a laugh and returns to reading her menu. "You are way too cute to be hanging around me…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Oh my god!" Lou laughs as she finally swallows the sip of wine she'd taken before Sam explained the intricacies of a well done prank Dean pulled on him as kids. "That's horrible!"

"At the time… oh yeah," Sam laughs also. "I mean, my hair was falling out in clumps. I thought I was dying or something."

"Didn't you think the shampoo smelled bad!?" Lou has to question. "I mean, Nair smells like crap."

"It was a new bottle," Sam shrugs. "The last bottle ran out, a new one appeared, I used it. That easy. Just figured it was a bad smelling shampoo brand or something."

"Holy shit," Lou keeps laughing at him. "What did you do!?"

"I had to basically shave my head," Sam admits. "I went with dad to a barber and they shaved it down to Army-worthy length. I had bald spots everywhere. My crush at school made fun of me the next day."

"Aw no," Lou melts for him in that moment. "What a bitch."

"Yeah, I didn't like her all that much after that," Sam smiles with the memory that is funny in hindsight only.

"I can't picture you with short hair," Lou admits when he laughing calms. "I mean, the long hair thing just seems very… you."

"Very me, huh?" he asks her in a flirty tone.

Lou shrugs. "I like it."

"Then… I'll never cut it again," Sam bashfully answers as he picks up his wine glass and takes one of the last few sips he has left in it.

Lou just shakes her head to herself at that. He's so damn cute. He's polite. He tried so hard to impress her tonight with the hip restaurant and his chivalry. Sam is something else.

"Well, since this night went so well I guess I have to ask… why are you single?"

Shock on his face, Sam tells her, "Wow, loaded question."

"Hey, if it involves telling me personal stuff you aren't ready to then call me rude and I'll totally take it back," she assures him. "But you just seem like a catch. You have a job, a decent one all-be-it a boring sounding one." Sam chuckles at that. "You're kind and you're a damn gentleman which is rare these days. Sounds like you pay your bills, have your head on straight, you're freakin' adorable… so why are you single? What's the catch here?"

Sam nods a little and looks at her. "I could ask you the same thing, you know."

"You first."

"I… was career driven," Sam explains. "I got into Stanford and shoved my nose in the books. I've been the same ever since. I got through law school, took the bar exam, got a busy job… and that's been life."

"No girls ever?"

"There were a couple here and there but… they didn't understand. They wanted more attention than I could afford to give them and we just didn't work out. After that I didn't think it was fair to do that to another girl so I didn't bother."

Lou's eyes narrow on him. "Are you trying to let me know you'll be ignoring me a lot?"

Sam narrows his eyes right back. "Does that mean you want more than one date with me?"

It's Lou's turn to blush. "Maybe." She grins wide, biting her bottom lip quickly. "Okay, definitely. I like you."

Her honesty throws him off yet again. "Yeah, well… I like you too."

They look at each other silently for a moment, way too giddy internally that they're both into each other.

"Okay, your turn," Sam reminds her. "I need to know why an ambitious and talented and beautiful girl like you is alone."

Eyebrow cocked, Lou asks, "Beautiful?"

Sam looks away, shy all of a sudden.

"Well, I guess my story is similar to yours in the past year," Lou tells him. "I have a business. It'll be a year that we've been open in about a month and it's been… a trip and a half. That's my baby and I've worked so hard to make it happen. We've been turning a real profit the last two quarters and we see a really big future for Brewtopia, maybe even a couple small satellite locations to sell serious coffee to busy guys like yourself. I want to expand. And that takes a lot of my time."

"So, basically… we're both career oriented and busy as hell."

"Sounds like it," Lou nods. "But hey, at least I understand your need to be career driven and all."

"I'd say that's a plus," Sam agrees as his phone vibrates in his pocket. After the day he had at work he knows he should at least check to see if it's important. Sounds like Lou would understand.

Pulling out his phone he sees a text from Dean.

_And? You still out with Lou? Or IN with Lou? How's it going? Give me something, man!_

Sam huffs a laugh at the curious text.

"What's up?" Lou asks as she finishes her wine.

"My brother," Sam tells her. "He's asking how the date's going."

"What are you gonna tell him?" Lou flirts.

Sam starts typing as he answers. "I'm telling him this has been the best date I've been on in… ever."

"Smart man," Lou smirks at him.

Sam grins back, this having happened over and over throughout the night, as he presses send.

_Finishing up dinner. Really good time. I'll probably be seeing her again. Lou says hi._

"So?" Sam asks, looking back to Lou. "You ready?"

"No… but I think we don't have a choice," she looks around, all other patrons gone by now. "They need to close up at some point."

"Probably," Sam says as he gets up, repocketing his phone. Lou does the same. They head for the door and Sam holds it for her.

"Why, thank you," she grins up at him, a hand pressed to his chest flirtatiously as she walks through. They head to Sam's car together, neither talking but both happy to be in each other's company.

After opening the car door for her and getting her into the passenger side of his Prius like a true gentleman, Sam walks to the driver's side. His phone buzzes again as he gets in and he checks.

_Hi back at her!_

Sam simply laughs when he sees the picture attached. He holds it out for Lou to see as he tells her, "I don't think we're the only ones enjoying our night."

Lou looks and laughs also. The picture Dean sent is a selfie of him and Lizzy taken at Brewtopia. He's leaning over the bar and Lizzy is standing behind it, both with wide, goofy smiles and a thumbs up.

"Ah, now I know why Lizzy wasn't so upset by taking an extra shift for me this week," Lou mentions.

"You took a night off for this?" Sam asks, worried.

"I _am_ the boss, aren't I?" she challenges. "Plus, I generally only take night shifts for other employees. Someone asked for the night off, I was going to take it. Instead, I had Lizzy do it."

"I didn't want to interfere with your work is all," Sam apologetically tells her.

"You didn't," Lou tells him, reaching over to hand back his phone. "I got the shift covered. I did my job. And all work and no play makes Lou a very, very dull girl."

"I feel like my brother has said that very same thing to me before," Sam admits and starts the car. "But calling me a dull boy. Well… actually, he probably called me a girl."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Well, looks like your brother is all set for the night," Lizzy comments as she continues to clear the bar towards the end of the night.

"Yeah, I'd say so," Dean grins wide at the idea. His Sammy, finally getting somewhere with a girl and letting his long-ass hair down.

"What about you?" Lizzy wonders, dropping a rag onto the bar and wiping it down. She glances at him out of the corner of her eyes as she works. "Are you set for the night?"

Dean cocks an eyebrow and leans onto his elbows at this stool, his last pint of beer already drained. "Depends, I guess."

After a full night of talking while working her shift, Lizzy's gotten a really good vibe from Dean. He's much more intelligent than he looks, or even realizes, and they've never struggled for a topic. From classic rock bands to cars to pop culture to sci-fi lit, Dean's been a pleasure to be around.

And the fact that he looks the way he does with a killer smile and the confidence to back up the model-worthy good looks doesn't hurt all that much either.

"Depends on what?" Lizzy asks, her playful tone clear to him as she stacks more glasses into the dishwasher.

Dean huffs a laugh and licks his lips, contemplating how to say what's in his brain. She's fascinating. She's damn funny. And hot isn't a good enough word for what she is. Damn it. He wants to go home with her but….

"Look," Dean starts and the serious tone gets her to walk over to him. She leans her back into the counter behind the bar and listens to him. "I, uh… I don't normally say this to a girl but… I kinda like you."

"Aww…"

"Shut up," he stops her patronizing right away. She laughs brightly and he's reminded of one of the many reasons he digs her. That laugh is stunning. "I'm just trying to say that… well, normally I would have tried to take you home the night I met you."

"What's so not normal about me then?" Lizzy asks, really liking the idea of a one night stand with him. She's made that clear to him through the night.

"Like I said, I like you," Dean explains somewhat.

"You usually don't like the girls you sleep with?" she grins, knowing she's just being difficult.

"Sometimes I do," Dean jokes right back. "But… I don't want just a one-time fling with you. You're fun."

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" Lizzy plays with him some more, leaning onto the bar on her elbows and giving Dean a shot down her shirt on purpose.

His eyes drift briefly but he quickly returns to her eyes. "Nice try."

"I thought so." Lizzy sighs. "Dean, I am not on the market. I'm not looking for anything that will tie me down, okay? I'm just… I'm not. I'm just being me and having fun. And, honestly, you look like fun."

"Oh, I'm very fun," he promises.

"And if the sex is good then… who said it has to be a one-time thing?"

Dean nods, not hating the sound of that.

"Plus, friends can have sex and not make it a big fucking deal about it," Lizzy points out to him. "So… what do you say? Friend fuck?"

As she looks at him with high expectation, Dean isn't sure what to say. He was all ready to break his usual cycle and do things right. He was going to try and ask her on a real date and suck up his pride. He got Sam to do it so why can't he follow his own advice?

But she doesn't want that. She's not the relationship type and who is he to argue with that? He's never really been the relationship type either.

"I'm not sure you can handle my kinda fun, sweetheart," Dean cockily tells her, feeling himself revert to his default ways all too easily.

The way she brightly smiles at him for that makes it worth it though. "You have no idea what I can handle."

"Am I about to find out?"

"You give me fifteen to close up and you sure will," she tells him with a sultry tone, walking away with an extra sway of excitement in her hips.

Dean smiles. All along he thought he was going to have to do something different, act like someone he wasn't, for this girl. Come to find out she's just him with boobs.

Awesome.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Pulling up in front of the apartment complex Lou lives in, Sam looks to her and grins. "I had a lot of fun."

"So did I," Lou smiles sweetly. "And, honestly, I'm not really ready for the night to end."

"Oh… I, uh…." Immediately Sam turns right back into the stuttering awkward guy he was before their date. He relaxed, let himself go, and had fun until now. But the idea of more?

"Hey, calm down, big man," Lou laughs slightly, all at his expense. "I mean, you're super cute when you get all nervous in front of me but I'm not looking to pressure you or us into anything. All I'm saying is I like your company, it's only midnight, and I have a new roast I've been working on sitting upstairs and looking for a guinea pig to let me know how it is."

Sam's shoulders drop in relaxation. No pressure.

"You in?" Lou wonders.

"Yeah," Sam nods and turns into the parking lot to park his car. "I can drink your coffee and hang out."

"Good," she bites her bottom lip, happy that he's not leaving just yet. "And I want honesty, okay? No lying and saying it's good if it sucks." She points at him accusingly.

"God's honest, I'll tell you the truth," Sam smiles her way, happy to know he can get more time with her and not have the pressure to make it more than it should be.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Okay… not what I expected," Lizzy comments as Dean lets her into his place.

"Can't tell if that's a good or bad thing," Dean comments, locking the door behind himself before walking towards her.

"Well, you own a house," she mentions, taking in the details around her. "So that's something."

"Were you expecting a cardboard box?" he gets slightly offended.

"No. An apartment, though," Lizzy tells him truthfully.

"I've done alright," Dean winks at her.

"Mechanics make that much?" Lizzy wonders, not being insulting but learning something.

"When you own your own garage you do," he explains easily.

"Oh. It all makes more sense now. You're _the man_." She grins wide.

"That's one way of putting it. Sure." He grins wide right back. "Or just boss works, too."

"Also, I wasn't expecting a dude to have so many family pictures around." She points to the mantle in the living room. It's all framed family photographs. "And the place is… kind of clean."

"I cleaned the other day," Dean fesses up, walking right up to her and standing in front of her. "My mom came by."

"That's gotta be the one thing that can get a guy to clean properly," Lizzy laughs a little as she lets her hands reach out to him. Her fingers find the top of his jeans, dipping in just slightly before pulling him in closer. "You don't wanna talk about your mom right now though… do you?"

"God, no," Dean admits, looking into her brown eyes that are already playfully staring back.

"You don't have some weird mommy kink or anything, right?" Lizzy jokes as she pops the button on his pants open. "Because I'm not too sure I can stick around if you do. I like a lot of things but that ain't one of them." She drops his fly at that.

"What _are_ you into then?" Dean asks, his voice lower as he takes up the lapels of her black leather moto jacket and slides it down her arms and onto the floor.

She grins so wide he can swear he sees all of her perfect white teeth.

"I'm into foot stuff," she says simply, her face not showing if she's serious of not.

"Foot stuff?" Dean asks, making sure he heard her correctly.

"Oh yeah," Lizzy grins mischievously up at him as one of her hands comes up to the back of his head and her fingers comb through the short hair there. She pulls him down a little. "Love feet. And getting golden showers."

" _Really_?" Dean questions with fear, not sure about this.

She pauses when his lips are just a couple inches from hers. She lightens up with a huge smile. "Not really."

Lizzy then finishes pulling him in and kisses him. Her lips start slow and light, testing the waters as if she wants to see if they're compatible.

The second their lips meet for the first time they both melt into the moment, something about it just right. The way they move closer to each other, the quick and barely there slide of tongue to tongue, the synchronization of their breathing… everything is just right. And so good.

"Mm," Lizzy hums to herself through the kiss, her hips pressing into his as she knows already this is going to be one _very_ good night. "Love your lips."

Dean's hands tangle into her long, dark hair with that and he keeps kissing her, brain unable to even respond. Usually he can talk a good game during moments like this but this connection he's feeling already has him too distracted to try. And god, she smells so good. Like cherries and vanilla. She smells warm and inviting and he needs more of her.

"Show me the rest of your house," Lizzy whispers against his lips as her hand that had been on the waist of his jeans travels down and slides over the now hard bulge in his pants.

Breathing out hard once, he just looks at her for a split second before grabbing her hand off of the denim cloth and pulling her along. "Come on."

She follows easily down a short hall in what seems to be a small, cute house. He opens a door and pulls her inside, wasting no time in getting his lips to hers again.

Lizzy giggles with his enthusiasm, loving that he's as ready and excited for this as she is. She kisses him back with playful determination as she grabs the bottom hem of his t-shirt and swiftly pulls it over his head.

"Oh god, you're awesome," Dean tells her in a pant as he reaches for her low cut, black t-shirt to do the same. When it's gone he kneels to the carpet below her, dropping down without any smoothness. He lets his tongue drag across her flat stomach from left to right before he looks up at her.

She smiles with full blown lust as her hands rake through his hair and he's done. "Shit, you're fun," she tells him, delighted.

Face first into her cleavage, he motorboats her still bra-covered breasts as she erupts with laughter.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Oh my god," Sam announces after swallowing down the sip of hot coffee Lou just brewed up in her French press.

"Really?" Lou asks, eyes hopeful and smile tugging at the corner of her mouth with pride.

"Really. This is… _really_ good," Sam assures her as he takes another big mouthful from the handcrafted mug in his hands. "What is it?"

"All Arabica," she explains. "I took the darkest Arabic I could find from Guatemala and blended it with even darker Brazilian and Colombian beans. I think it's pretty kick ass and super bold but still smooth enough to not kick you in the ass with acid."

"I have no idea anything about coffee past what I like but I'm sure what you just said was super impressive," Sam admits and Lou laughs at his honesty. "This is like… perfection in a cup."

"Even better than the Sumatran?" Lou challenges as she sips her own coffee and stares at him from across the kitchen island in her apartment.

Sam makes a surprised face that she remembered what his usual favorite at her shop was. "Even better. I would get this every morning if you put it on the menu."

"Maybe I'll give it a test run this week then," she grins at him and watches him sip again, the pleasant look on his face proving he's truthful about her coffee. "Thanks for the honesty."

"No, thank _you_ ," Sam corrects.

As they sip, Sam sitting in his stool at the island and Lou standing across, they fall into a silence. It's comfortable. It's actually kind of nice. Nothing feels forced or awkward at all.

When Sam licks his lips absently, pulling in more flavor from his drink, Lou sighs. She already knows he's not one to push too much or dive into anything too quickly. But through the night she couldn't help from staring at just how handsome the guy is. He's so cute yet quite sharp and stately at the same time. She's never seen such a combination on a man before. When he smiles he's all sunshine and puppies. When he gets serious, like when listening to her talk, he's brooding and GQ-esque. He has a lighter side but he's also very uptight. He's a mix of so many things that he's very hard to read.

All she knows is he's just been one big turn on all night. Intellectually he's a blast, able to speak on any and everything with knowledge. And he's fun at times. That's always a way to a girl's heart. And physically… well, what needs to be said. He's six and a half feet of god damned beauty. And in his sweater and jeans combination she can tell he's a well maintained man, taking care of himself.

"Come sit with me," Lou suggests and nods for the open living room area.

Sam gets up and follows her to the couch. Once they settle in on opposite ends, both getting more comfortable, the silence once more sets in.

"You're pretty shy, huh?" Lou asks him, eyeing him from the space left between them.

"I, uh… I guess so," Sam nods slightly. "Not always."

"When are you not shy?" Lou challenges.

"In court."

Lou laughs. "That makes no sense."

Sam laughs too. "I can see how to most people that wouldn't make sense. But for some reason I'm fine while presenting cases. Maybe because I rehearse it… and I know what I'm going to say before I get there. I know the case up and down before I ever head to a court. Most other times in life… I can't be that prepared."

Looking at him with a happy, renewed expression, she tells him, "That actually makes total sense now. Never would have thought of it that way."

Sam, looks down at his cup before taking another sip, glad she can understand him a little better.

"So women… they make you nervous because you can't prepare for encountering them?"

Thinking about it, he tells her, "I guess so. Yeah."

"We're too unpredictable for you?" Lou asks him playfully.

"Most I've met… yes," Sam huffs a laugh.

"Okay. Fair… but what if I told you what I was going to do before I did it?" Lou makes a game out of his reserved ways. "Like… what if I told you right now that in about one minute I'm coming over there and I'm going to kiss you because I've been thinking about doing that all night anyways? Would that help?"

Eyes wide, Sam doesn't know how to respond.

"You can tell me not to do that if you want," Lou smiles warmly, not looking to freak him out.

Sam purposefully doesn't respond, just gives her a slight, tiny smile.

Taking that as a green light, Lou places her mug on the coffee table before scooting smoothly down the length of the couch. She sits facing him and leaves no space. Taking his cup and adding to hers, Lou then turns and smiles invitingly at Sam.

"I like you," she tells him, just wanting him to be aware that she's doing this not simply out of attraction.

Sam blushes hard, cheeks flushing pink before he can do anything about it. "I… I really like you, too," he manages to get out without looking at her and choosing his lap to stare at instead.

"Good," Lou tells him, her hand coming up to the side of his jaw. She stays there a quick moment before pulling him in.

Lips meeting, Sam relaxes a touch. She likes him. She said so, made sure to say so. And she's kissing him. This is all good stuff. Because through the night, looking at her while speaking about life and watching her laugh with bright blue eyes and a carefree attitude, he'd come to find that he truly does like her too. A lot.

Lou scoots closer, her body pressed to his as she boldly climbs into his lap. She sits sideways and brings her one hand from his jaw to the back of his head, making sure he knows this is what she wants.

When his hands land on her back she knows she can keep kissing him, the shy man finding his bravery quickly enough.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Oh, oh, oh fuck me. _Dean_ ," Lizzy's voice calls out while coated in sheer pleasure as she presses her palms and cheek to the wall of his bedroom. Her back extremely arched, her breasts flat to the blue painted wall with her ass far out to him, her voice climbs as her orgasm approaches.

This is the best fucking sex she's had in memory.

A hand gripping her hip hard while the other knots into her long black and red hair, his eyes roam every single, sexy part of her they can. Her back so arched and her round, perfect ass bouncing as he pushes into her from behind. The way her lips are parted as she pants and moans. Her nails digging into drywall. The dark lines of the tattoo running down her ribs on the right side along with the full sleeve of tattoos she has on her upper left arm. Everything about this woman is too much and too good.

The second they were alone it's been one brilliant moment after another. They click, can read each other so well, and they seem sexually very compatible. He likes what she wants and she's happy to give him anything he needs.

And god damn it is she sexy. Her body is out of control.

"Oh god, so good," Lizzy voice groans when he speeds up a little more. She reaches back to grab his hip as he pushes into her over and over. When her palm lands on his hand instead she grips it and drags it forward.

Dean's heart nearly skips when his fingertips are guided right to her clit.

"Make me come, Dean," Lizzy nearly begs in a voice that's so needy he has to take his hand from her hair and press it to the wall beside her head to steady himself. "Please. I need it. Make me."

Hand massaging her clit, Dean moves even faster as he's noticed she reacts better when he moves hard and quick. Her voice gets loud, moaning as she turns her forehead to the wall.

"Like that. Oh, like that," Lizzy lets him know, her openness and communication skills during sex having been excellent. "Shit, Dean. Oh fuck."

Her hand on the wall slides up and before he knows it she's got it covering over his larger one, their fingers locking. It's an incredibly intimate display despite this being a casual encounter but Dean's not about to call her on it. It's too damn much of a turn on to ever possibly complain.

"Yes! Fuck!" Lizzy calls out before nearly shouting when her orgasm hits her hard, her body tensing as her head lifts and she looks to the ceiling with an even further arched back.

He can feel her tighten around him, knowing she's coming hard and getting just as much out of this as he is. Her sounds are beautiful, as stunning as the rest of her. He keeps moving, hand and hips, and lets her ride it out the right way.

As she starts to quiet and come down, her legs shaking a bit as she does, Dean finally slows, pumping in and out of her at a more controlled and easy pace so as not to overwhelm her after too much pleasure.

"Fuck, that was so hot," Dean tells her, leaning in to her ear and speaking low as she tries to catch her breath with her forehead once more pressed to the wall. "I knew you were cute but _damn_ , sweetheart."

Lizzy huffs out a breathy laugh with that. "I'm just trying to get mine, dude. Mm. Hot damn, that was so _fucking_ good."

Dean kisses her shoulder once as he pulls out of her. Turning her around to face him with his hands on her hips, he swiftly reaches down and lifts her up off the floor with his arms under her knees.

"You mind if I get mine then?" he asks her, grinning a bit with her wild hair and heaving chest.

She grins wide as he walks her to his bed, finally making it there for the first time that night, and drops her onto it.

"Well, I feel I do owe you after all that," she tells him in a sultry voice, backing up on the mattress and making him chase her up it as he crawls towards her. "What do you want?"

When he reaches her he wrap an arm around her back and flips them, putting her on top of him as he lies on his back. He gets her knees to either side of his hips and he grabs her ass, lifting her a bit. He then holds himself up for her and guides her to sink down onto his dick.

She exhales with enjoyment, eyes closed briefly as she takes in the feeling of him inside her again.

When she looks down at him he smirks as both hands come down onto both her ass cheeks at the same time with a nice loud slap. "Ride 'em, cowgirl," he answers with a wink.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Maybe he should stop this. His brain can't stop thinking he should.

But it's so nice….

No. He doesn't even know her well enough yet. He just knows she's something worth not rushing into. This is too much too soon. This is a bad idea.

"Lou," Sam says between kisses after having been on the couch making out with her as if they're still teenagers for quite a long time.

"Hm?" is all Lou gets out as she keeps kissing him, her hands absorbing the feel of his torso as they snuck under his casual sweater a while ago. He's ripped. Like, seriously ripped. And she's addicted to the feel of his skin over hard muscle.

"Maybe…" he tries to speak but gets pulled back into her lips, her beautiful full lips that are sexier than he can describe. He's watched them as she spoke all night and they're more perfect than he could have guessed before they got to the couch. He tries again. "Maybe we should… slow down."

"We haven't done anything," Lou smirks, backing away a touch as she sits up. They'd over time maneuvered until Sam was on his back on her couch and she was laying on top of him. She pulls her hands from his shirt.

"I know, I just… I didn't want to push this too far, you know?" Sam asks if she agrees.

"I don't think I know," she shakes her head a little and sits up, her face disappointed.

"I, uh…" Sam starts and already he knows his former confidence is waning. "I just… I don't want to rush this too quickly."

Lou's eyes widen with surprise at that.

"I know, I'm probably being super lame. And I'm sorry for that," Sam tells her, his hands on her jean-covered knees as he looks away with embarrassment. "But I wasn't kidding. I didn't want to rush this because… I really do like you."

Lou huffs a laugh at him. "What are we, sixteen?"

Sam's face falls with the comment.

"No! I was joking!" Lou apologizes quickly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. It was just so cute and, honestly… I don't usually hang with guys that want to take it slow."

"Maybe you've been hanging around the wrong guys," Sam suggests, eyes locking on hers again. "I want to do this right. I want to see you a few more times and take our time getting to… the physical part."

"I don't know. The last half hour has felt pretty damn physical," Lou jokes as she climbs off of Sam's body and stands up, taking the mugs from the coffee table. She smirks at him knowingly before heading for the kitchen.

"I think you know what I mean," Sam rebuts, sitting up and fixing his sweater and then his hair.

"I do. And that's very respectful, Sam," Lou lets him know as she dumps out the now cold coffee to refill with some still hot coffee. "I can see what your intentions are. It's kinda refreshing actually… even if I'd love to peel those clothes off of you and have a real good time."

"Ha," Sam awkwardly laughs at that as he stands up. Quickly, while facing away from her, he adjusts himself so that his level of turn on isn't completely obvious through his fitted jeans. He finishes just as Lou walks up next to him, mug offered to him. "Oh, it's late. I figured I'd head out…."

"Sit your ass down," Lou grins at him and takes a seat on the couch. "If you're not gonna get down with me then you at least have to stay up a little later and watch something with me."

"It's midnight."

"Are you eighty?"

Sam just laughs and sits down. "Alright, I deserved that."

"Yes you did," Lou tells him and picks up the remote from the coffee table. She turns on the TV and asks, "What kinda stuff do you watch?"

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Hands behind his head on his pillow, naked form stretched down the length of his bed, Dean sighs with a contented smile. What a damn night.

He hasn't felt this good in so long. Lizzy is… what isn't she? She's so hot it hurts to look at her. He body moves with sheer sex and every second of being with her physically was what Dean could only call perfection. The sex was amazing, like best ever amazing, and he just plain likes her. She's funny, she's quick, she's sarcastic without being a bitch. She's gorgeous and fun… she's everything.

And when she comes back into the room from the bathroom while wearing nothing at all still he can't believe his luck.

"Well… that was fun," Lizzy tells him with emphasis and a grin as she bends down to get her underwear from the floor.

"Yes it was," Dean says to her, looking down the bed to watch her.

"I _really_ needed that," she huffs a laugh, slipping her black panties up her long legs as he views it all. Even her putting clothes _on_ is a hell of a thing to see.

"I know what you mean," Dean nods a little.

"Been a while?" Lizzy asks, scanning the room until her bra comes into view. She walks for it and takes it off his dresser.

"Eh, long enough," Dean explains simply. It hasn't really. "Well, long enough since I had _that much_ fun, at least."

"Right!?" she smiles, clasping her bra in place. "I mean, we're good together."

"Definitely," Dean wholeheartedly replies but his face drops when she starts to pulls her jeans on. "You going somewhere?"

"Ah, yeah," Lizzy says, thinking it obvious. "I'm heading home."

"You don't have to," Dean tries to sound unaffected as he sits up and offers. "You can stay longer."

"Oh, I don't do sleepovers," Lizzy denies. "Morning awkwardness and cuddling… no. Not my thing."

"Who said anything about cuddling or morning?" Dean asks, his plan slipping through his fingers. He had already been trying desperately to remember if he had bacon in the house. "I was just hoping to chill out a minute, maybe go for a round two if you'd be down."

Lizzy pauses and looks at him, eyes narrowing as she thinks. "Nah. I need to get going." She finishes buttoning and zipping her pants.

His heart drops at that. "Oh. Okay. I see how it is."

"How it is?" Lizzy grins with his clearly joking tone.

"Yeah. You're one of _those_ girls," Dean calls her out in an overtop way as he stands up and grabs his boxer briefs from the carpet and pulls them on.

"Those girls?" she laughs.

"Yeah. All you want is sex," Dean pretends to be hurt as he scoops up her shirt and walks for her. He holds it out in offer while telling her, "Just use 'em and lose 'em. You're so typical for your gender."

She snatches her t-shirt back and laughs hardily at that. "You're ridiculous."

"So, is this gonna work for you?" he wonders as she finishes getting dressed. "Just fucking and leaving? Being friends?"

"Is it gonna work for _you_?" she counters.

"Hey, I asked first."

"You're a child," Lizzy name calls. "And yes. I think you're fun. In and out of the bedroom. I want to be friends. And I want sex sometimes."

"I can do that," Dean nods, knowing what a gem he's just found.

"No commitment," Lizzy keeps going. "Just keeping the party going, right?"

"Right."

Boots slipped on, Lizzy looks up at him with a smile. "You're good at all this."

"All this?"

"Sex. You're just… you're damn good at it."

"Aw…" Dean jokes again and pushes her in the shoulder.

"You're lame," she tells him and heads out of his bedroom for her purse that she dropped by his front door. "Alright. I'm out."

"You working tomorrow night?" Dean asks as casually as he can manage.

"Always," she nods.

"Maybe I'll come by then," Dean offers, trying to see if two nights in a row would be too much for her.

"I'll be there," she brushes it off. "If not, you can text me later in the week."

"Sounds good."

"Goodnight," Lizzy grins, her smile wide and still stunning, as she opens the door. She winks at him and shuts the door, her car starting up soon after as she leaves.

Dean can't help but be overly concerned with how excited he is to have a fuck buddy that hot and well matched… and how hurt he is deep down to not have her stay longer.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Quietly unlocking the door to their apartment, Lizzy pushes the door open. She walks in and looks around, grinning at what she finds.

The TV is on and the pilot episode of Preacher is just finishing up. Unfortunately no one is watching it as the two people on the couch are fast asleep on each other.

Smirking, Lizzy shoves the door shut with a boom.

"Hm!" Lou says as they're both startled awake. She sits up quickly and gets off of Sam while he takes his arm back from around her shoulders. When she sees Lizzy grinning by the door she groans with annoyance. "Bitch."

"Hello, sunshines," Lizzy greets brightly and tosses her purse on the kitchen table. "Looks like you had an exciting night!"

"Shut up," Lou gripes as they both wake up and stand from the couch.

"Well, I had a lovely night… probably more exciting than yours," Lizzy jokes. "But I'm now pooped. Night, you crazy kids!"

Once Lizzy disappears to her room in the apartment Lou looks at Sam and tells him, "I hate her."

"No you don't," Sam laughs and runs his hands through his hair to tame it. "I better get going."

"Okay," Lou nods and walks to the door with him. "I'm glad you stayed, even if we passed out."

"Me too," Sam nods happily.

"And try Preacher again," she suggests. "Great show. I promise."

"Will do."

Sam stares down at her a moment, working up his nerve, before he ducks down and presses a quick, lovely kiss to her lips. "I'll call you."

"Please do," Lou responds, clearly smitten with the very polite man.

"Goodnight," Sam departs, opening the door.

"Goodnight, Sam," Lou responds as he disappears down the stairwell. Once he's out of sight she sighs and locks up for the night. She leans her back against the door and has one of those totally girly moments in which she just smiles to herself. She's totally taken by him.

"Seriously!?"

Lou looks up to see Lizzy brushing her teeth in the hallway looking at her. "What?"

"I thought you two would have been naked on the couch… not sleeping," Lizzy tells her with total let down. "I'm disappointed in you."

"Fuck off. I like him," Lou pushes off the door and heads for her room.

"You _like_ him?" Lizzy laughs a little.

"Yeah, I do. I honestly like him," she responds in a huffy voice like a sister would. "And unlike you I don't fuck everyone on the first date."

"Dates are lame," Lizzy rolls her eyes. "Can't get hurt if you don't date."

"Dad really did a number on you, didn't he?" Lou accuses. "Someday you're gonna have to get over it and find someone for more than a night."

"Says who?" Lizzy juvenilely challenges.

"Says the laws of how to be a happy human being before you die." Lou rolls her eyes and disappears into her room, door shut to close Lizzy out.

"For what it's worth, he's super hot!" Lizzy shouts through the door. "He's totally be worth waiting for!"

"Goodnight!" Lou cuts her off and gets ready for bed, all with a grin on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

"Why are we going here?" Lizzy asks as she looks at the nice little restaurant in Sacramento she and Lou are standing in front of. It's cute, it's trendy, and it's nowhere she'd ever go on an average day.

"I heard good things," Lou shrugs, reaching for the front door and pulling it open.

"A wine bar and restaurant!?" Lizzy disbelieves and doesn't walk into the open held door. "We don't even drink wine. We drink beer."

"Wine isn't bad on occasion," Lou rebuts. "Sam's got me drinking a bottle now and then."

"Conformist," Lizzy name calls. "Why don't we just go to that bar we passed down the street? They had over a hundred taps. We could check out some local stuff and report back to Garth. Research night…."

"We're here, okay," Lou tells her stubborn sister. She then waves a hand in gesture to get her through the door. "Let's just try the place. The food is killer."

Lizzy crosses her arms. "How would you know that?"

Lou rolls her eyes. "Went here with Sam before."

Shaking her head, Lizzy walks through the restaurant door saying, "I don't even know you anymore."

Once inside the small place, Lizzy stands there waiting for Lou to check in with the hostess.

"Hi," Lou grins at the young woman behind the podium.

"Lou, how are you?" she grins wide back and grabs a couple menus.

"Good. How are you, Gretchen?" Lou remains very cordial and immediately Lizzy is on high alert with their familiarity.

"You know. Same old. Your table is ready," Gretchen tells her and starts walking. "The rest of your party is already here."

Lizzy follows with confusion. "Rest of our party? What the hell is…?"

"Lizzy?"

Hearing her voice, Lizzy looks ahead of them to the table they're being lead to. Sitting there is Sam on one side, Lou heading right for him to give him a quick and very comfortable kiss hello. Across from Sam sits Dean. The confused expression he's wearing has to be the very same she's got on her own face.

"Dean!?" Lizzy gets upset right away. She looks over to her sister. "What the hell is going on?"

"We're having dinner," Lou tells her with wide eyes, silently giving her the 'lower your voice' notice. "Sit down."

The fire burning in her gut is growing by the second. She's pissed.

But being in public she knows better and plops into her seat with a huff. She grits her teeth and waits for Gretchen to leave before lowering her voice and tearing into them. "We have told the two of you time and time again…."

"We know. You're not together. We get it," Lou assures her.

"Do you!?" Dean jumps in, looking at his brother in a similar way that Lizzy is staring down her sister. "This right here feels like maybe you don't."

"This isn't a date," Sam responds. "We're all just sitting here and having dinner. Plus, friends can have dinner together. You are _just friends_ , right?"

Lizzy and Dean both grit their teeth with anger over the way he says it.

"A fact the both of you love to not hear," Lizzy accuses. "What are you trying to do?"

Lou takes a deep breath and feels Sam's hand clamp down on her knee below the table. She glances at him next to her and he nods, giving her the go ahead to say all the two of them have been thinking lately. "You've known each other for six months now. And you're still doing your weird, dance around each other, hook up all the time bullshit. Well, we're sick of it."

Both Dean and Lizzy sit up a little taller with what Lou says to them.

"You're sick of it?" Lizzy bites in question.

"Yeah, we are," Lou confirms as Sam nods, agreeing.

"What the fuck does what Dean and I do have to do with you both?" Lizzy asks them both.

"Look," Sam starts in, looking to take at least a little heat for this since it was both he and Lou's idea to try this out. "It's pretty clear to both of us that there's something there between you. You both like the same things, you get along really well… you have sex all the time…."

"Make a point, Sam," Dean warns with an edge.

"Hey, you two!" a server shows up at the very wrong time. She recognizes Lou and Sam right away. "Good to see you back again."

"Hi Sue," Sam grins.

"Drinks?"

"Our usual bottle?" Sam suggests, looking to Lou for confirmation. She nods. "And four glasses."

"I'll have a whiskey. Double. Neat," Dean jumps in, making it clear he doesn't do wine.

"Do you pour triples?" Lizzy asks with clear annoyance.

"Um… I don't think…." Sue starts to respond, never having been asked that before.

"I'll just have what he's having," Lizzy tells her and jerks her thumb at Dean to indicate she wants whiskey. Now.

"I'll be back," Sue smiles before leaving in a hurry with the bad vibe at the table.

It gets quiet for a second before Dean leans forward and tells his brother, "Make a point, Sam. And quick."

Sam sighs. "Lou and I are happy. Like, _really_ happy. And we want that for you guys too."

"I'm happy," Lizzy speaks up in a voice that doesn't sound anything like happiness. "Dean, you happy?" she asks him without looking away from Sam.

"Ecstatic. You?"

"Simply joyful," Lizzy adds to it. "We're just fine. You two can be the perfect little couple, go on your dates to bullshit trendy spots, let the world be all rosy as you hold hands and skip and do whatever the hell it is you two typical people do. I've never been anything but encouraging of your relationship. Hell, I actually think Sam's great for you," she pointedly says to her sister.

"Preach," Dean comments, letting Lizzy do all the talking as she's nailing it all.

"But I'm not you," she tells her sister.

"And I'm not you either, Sammy," Dean says to his brother. "We're fine the way we are."

"So you're fine hooking up the rest of your lives and not having anything deeper?" Sam challenges. "You don't want to have a home? A family? You're just gonna hook up with someone forever?"

"Him and whoever else I choose that night, sure," Lizzy nods. "Why does everyone have to be so family, big house, white picket fence obsessed? What if I like my space?"

Lou blows out a hard breath and regrets this attempts completely. It's backfiring so hard. "Lizzy, I don't want you to wake up one day, alone, regretting your choices. I want you to be happy. The real happy. Not whatever happy you think you are now. I know you well enough. You aren't happy this way."

"Neither are you, Dean," Sam tells his brother.

And appalled silence hits the table, only broken up by the delivery of drinks.

"Martin Ray 2009 Reserve Cab," Sue announces as she uncorks the bottle. She places the four glasses on the table. "Four, in case you two change your mind." She smiles at the obviously upset pair across from her regulars. "And whiskey for you both." She places their glasses. "I'll be back for your food order."

She rushes away, not liking the angry feeling the foursome is creating.

Dean picks up his glass and looks to Lizzy. "Cheers, darling," he sarcastically says, holding his glass to her.

Lizzy picks hers up too. "To being loose and irresponsible."

"Don't forget unhappy and abnormal," Dean adds in

They clink glasses and down their double shots in one go.

"You know, honey bun. I saw a bar just down the street," Lizzy says to Dean, her voice also still sharp. "What do you think, sweetie? Date night?"

"Would love to, sweetheart."

Dean and Lizzy get up while glaring at their siblings.

"Dude, come on," Sam grumbles, knowing what a disaster this all was. "Just sit down and eat. It's on us. We won't force anything on you anymore."

Lizzy marches for the door before she can hear any more. Dean stays a moment, looking between the two of them. "We're happy for you both," he says, sincerity in his tone. He means it. "We really are. And we love you both. But you have to stop. Not everyone is like you. We accept you. Figure out how to accept us, whether you like how we choose to live or not."

With that Dean leaves, walking through the door Lizzy's holding for him. They then head up the street and out of sight of the picture window in the restaurant.

Stunned silence hits for a good minute before Sam breathes out hard. "Wow."

"No shit," Lou comments right back. She looks at him. "I thought this was gonna work out better."

"Me too," Sam says with near confusion.

"I mean, the other night I caught them cuddled up on the couch watching a movie…"

"And they went to that car show in San Fran for the night… that's damn near a couple's weekend," Lou comments, not getting what they did wrong. "They're practically a couple already."

"Well, practically," Sam nods. "Dean did bring some other girl home last weekend."

Lou's face falls. "Shit. Lizzy brought some annoying guy home a few nights back too."

"I don't get it," Sam tells her, picking up the open bottle and pouring as they both need it. "Why are they fighting it so hard?"

"Lizzy?" Lou bites her bottom lip a second before telling him, "Our dad."

Sam looks to her with confusion.

"He was a serial cheater," Lou spills the truth of their past that she never told Sam. "He stepped out on mom so many times… it was a mess and mom was always hurt. I'm sure, for Lizzy, settling down is setting herself up for the pain mom went through. So she just… doesn't."

Sam places the bottle on the table and looks at his girl with true concern. "I'm sorry you went through that."

Lou shrugs. "Life is what it is."

He hooks an arm around her shoulders and hugs her. He kisses her cheek and tells her, "You know I wouldn't ever do that to you, right? Ever."

Lou smiles up at him. "That's why I'm with you. I know you wouldn't."

Sam smiles and kisses her lips once. "I love you."

She grins even wider. She then takes her glass and downs a big sip. "Well, I'm not letting them ruin my night out. Why don't we order way too much food and then head back to my place for coffee?"

"Just coffee?" Sam cocks and eyebrow.

"If we're reliving our first date… just coffee."

"Can we not relive our first date?" Sam smiles innocently while asking for something not so innocent.

"I love you, too," Lou laughs a little and kisses him back.

Sam's head starts to think. He knows what he's going to do to fix their night. He had planned for this to go a little differently but now that he knows her and Lizzy's past he wants Lou to understand how serious he is about them.

"What are thinking?" Sam asks her, arm still around her shoulders as he picks up a menu to share.

"Uh, everything," Lou laughs, loving the whole menu since they've tried it all after having been there so many times.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"I mean, come on!" Lizzy nearly shouts as she slurs her words, leaning onto the bar and angling her body to look right at Dean. "Why can't she get out of my ass 'bout this?"

"Don't know," Dean answers with a lilt in his tone, just as drunk.

They left that restaurant pissed off as all hell and they did what they both always do. They drank away the anger.

Well… not really. They drank and the anger stayed.

"It's none a' their business," Lizzy tells him as if they haven't been through this several times already. "I like hanging out with you. We have good sex."

"Awesome sex," Dean points at her drunkenly, eyes glazed with the correction.

"Sorry. Awesome sex. And so what if we've been fucking for a while now. It's not like we're exclusive or something."

Dean pauses and looks at her funny. "You still hooking up with other guys?"

Lizzy's brow lowers. "Aren't you?"

Looking at her, something tugging at his heart over hearing that she still has one night stands with other dudes. "Well, girls. But… yeah." It's the truth. He still is seeing other women sometimes.

"Me too. Whatever," Lizzy plays it off, tossing out the idea that he's been with other girls in the past months. It's too weird to think about. "Just because we get along… why does that… uh, auto… matically mean we gotta be married and shit?"

"I don't wanna get married."

"Me neither!' Lizzy shouts happily in return. "I'm not set… setting myself up for distaster like that."

Dean laughs into his pint glass, eyes crinkling in the corners.

"What?" Lizzy asks, missing what was funny.

"You said distaster."

"What!?" Lizzy asks, downing the rest of her beer in a couple sips.

"You said distaster… instead of distaster. Uh, _disaster_. Fuck, I can't even say it now."

"God, I'm… I'm fucking plastered," Lizzy admits, blinking slowly a few times with what a waste case she's become.

"With you. Yes. Plastered," Dean nods, his head bobbling unsteady. "I can't drive back to Davis."

"Me neither." Lizzy sighs. "Shoulda… thought 'bout this before we drank too much."

"Yeah," Dean agrees, finishing his pint also. He then pulls out his wallet and starts to count out what he hopes is enough for their tab and tip. He doesn't feel like conversing with the bartender in his state.

"Wait! I owe half," Lizzy tells him, grabbing her purse from where it is hanging off the back of the stool.

"Nah, forget it," Dean tells her, paying for everything they drank even if it was a lot.

"Then I'll get the cab back…"

"Kay… shit. But if we get a cab tonight… then I gotta come back tomorrow and get Baby… nah. Don't wanna leave her for the night."

"She's a big girl. She can handle herself," Lizzy jokes with him, eyes unfocused.

"Let's just get a room or something." Dean takes out his phone and sloppily tries to find something reasonable in the area.

"Okay," Lizzy shrugs not caring either way. "I don't have ta go home and see my sister then. Works for me."

"There's a cheap place a couple blocks from here. Come on," Dean tells her, getting off his stool and grabbing her hand to help her down. She stumbles a bit and they both laugh. "Waste case."

"You're one to talk, bitch," Lizzy name calls in return.

"Why am I a bitch!?" Dean asks with upset.

"Cause I said so," Lizzy laughs and grips his hand tight, letting him lead her to the door.

"I'm not a bitch," Dean reminds her, holding the door open for her. They walk through and start down the street, still holding hands.

"Nah, you're not," Lizzy tells him, head leaning into his shoulder as they stumble their way to a close by hotel. "You're just a _little_ bitch."

Dean laughs at that one.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"What are you brewing up this time?" Sam asks as he toes out of his shoes and heads for his usual stool at the kitchen island. He places the pastry box they picked up on the way home on the center of the surface as she grinds the beans of her latest roast.

Once the electric grinder is done she turns to look at him. "Just the Sumatran. It's all I have left here. I need to remember to steal more of my own stuff next time I'm at the shop."

"Hey, you know how I feel about your Sumatran." Sam grins.

"I do," she smirks back and turns back around to put the French press together.

Sam sees his opportunity then. With her focus on coffee making, Sam opens the pastry box and pulls out the lemon drop cupcake she ordered. It's her favorite. She claims it's the perfect pair up with a good cup of coffee. Sam disagrees, preferring the carrot cake like most others would, but who is he to tell her she's wrong? It's all opinion anyway.

"I have the day off tomorrow, you know?" Lou tells him as she moves around the counter, still not turning around to look at him.

Sam couldn't be happier to hear that. Perfect timing. He reaches into his jean's pocket as he says, "What do you want to do with it?"

"You have a Saturday off too!?" Lou asks with excitement, wide eyes locking with his as his hand freezes in his pocket.

"I can get my work done Sunday instead." He smiles at her warmly and hopes she'll turn back around.

"Cool," Lou grins and turns back to her coffee.

"We could check out that park you were talking about," Sam keeps speaking to distract her, retrieving something from his pocket. His hand is sweaty and he fumbles a little, scared to handle the ring when his hands are shaking so much. "Grab a growler from your place, pick up some food… maybe go to the shelter and grab a dog for the day to take out."

"That'd be awesome!" Lou grins at the idea, loving the sound of it. They both love dogs but are too busy to adopt one themselves. They like to help out by taking one around for the day when they can.

"Done," Sam nods, making sure the diamond is clean and perfect before pressing the band into the buttercream frosting of Lou's dessert, diamond up and presented perfectly. He then sighs, folds his hands awkwardly on the counter top, and waits.

"Alright," Lou says when she's poured two coffee mugs and turns around with them. She smiles at him and places one in front of him and one on her side. "Oh, thanks…." She stops. She was about to thank him for unpacking dessert but the gleam of the diamond sticking out of her cupcake makes her voice cease mid-sentence. A diamond. "Um… Sam?"

"I, uh… I kinda haven't exactly known how… how I wanted to do this," Sam sputters out, his fingers fiddling against each other as he looks at her shocked face. "And I know it's kinda soon…."

"Are you serious?" Lou asks, her face cracking into a bright smile.

"Of course." Sam gets up and walks around the island to her and grabs her hands in his. "I just… Lou, I know you're it for me. And I know you've dealt with a lot of crap before… you're dad and all… but I promise I'd never do that to you. Never."

"I know," Lou answers with wide, still shocked eyes locked up on his.

He smiles at her so hard it almost hurts. "I didn't know how I wanted to do this… make it big or creative… but this is about us. Just us. And this right here? Our favorite restaurant from our first date and some coffee you roasted yourself after, in this apartment … this is us. Completely. And I love this. I love your coffee. I love that you waited two weeks for me to pull my head out of my ass and spend the night with you. I love that you are so career driven and your job means so much to you. I love that you understand that about me too. I love that you care about my brother as much as you do your sister. And… I just love being with you. I can't imagine not being with you."

Sam lowers to the floor and gets on a knee in the traditional way. Lou presses a hand over her mouth with still running surprise, the yes ready to fly out of her mouth as soon as he asks.

His eyes look up at her with pure adoration. "Lou. I love you. I'm always going to love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Lou practically shouts at him and lunges forward. Her arms come around his neck as she bowls him over, Sam landing on his back on the linoleum. She then presses her lips hard to his, kissing him with excitement and love and everything that's hitting her hard right now.

"Oh, thank god," Sam laughs a little before kissing her again.

"Wait… did you think I'd say no to you!?" Lou worries aloud, leaning up on her elbows pressed to his chest to look at him.

"I think I asked pretty soon into things so I wasn't sure what you'd say," Sam explains honestly. "I mean, I knew you weren't going to straight out dump me or anything but I was running the risk of you calling me insane and saying you wanted to wait."

She melts at his concern. He's always thinking about her. Ever since that first date he's been nothing but the gentleman she'd hoped he was. She's number one on his list, even above himself, and to think she's found this in her life when she was never looking for it is quite incredible.

"I love you… so much," Lou tells him from the depths of her soul before kissing him again.

Sam's arms wrap around her and they stay that way for some time. They kiss, they enjoy the moment, and they forget for a while about one detail of the night.

"Hey," Sam stops them when he comes to his sense briefly.

"What?" Lou wonders, not wanting to stop things.

"Did you want to put on the ring?" Sam wonders to her. He agonized over what one to buy and he's really anxious to see if he passes this massive life test.

"After I have my way with you?" Lou tries, smiling wide. Jewelry is jewelry. Right now she wants him.

"How about before. I want to know if you like it."

"I know I will," Lou promises.

"Just put it on and make me happy then," Sam tries again and Lou gets off of him. She holds out a hand once standing to help pull him up off the floor. "We never really talked about any of this so I wasn't sure what to do… but I think it's something you'd like."

He picks up the cupcake and hands it to her.

"White gold. I went with a solitaire with six prongs since you work with your hands so much… or at least that's what I was told was best. I got an etched band so that even if I couldn't surround the diamond in diamonds like everyone does these days since, you know, you work with your hands, it's still unique." He pulls the band out of the frosting and grabs a napkin off the island to clean the metal band. He then takes her left hand and slide it in place.

Lou looks down at her finger. An impressive diamond rests on it, a diamond that Sam gave her. It could be brown colored and barely visible and she'd love it just the same but he actually did a great job. The ring is different and beautiful and exactly what she'd want.

"It's perfect," Lou smiles at him. "I love it, Sam."

The shy man comes out as he looks away, cheeks tinted pink and smiling wide.

"Now can I have my way with you?" Lou asks him, so in love with this one man in the moment that she just wants him all to herself, alone, together.

"Why not?" he smiles and leans down to kiss her again.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Dean… sit up," Lizzy directs as she sits on his hips on the hotel bed. Dean struggles to sit up from his reclined position under her but she too hastily tries to pulls his shirt off before he can. He gets tangled up and can't move well.

"Wait… stop…." Dean tries to get his arm out of the t-shirt sleeve but can't.

"Just pull your arm out…"

"I can't…."

"Jesus," Lizzy gives up and lets him do it himself.

Dean pulls the shirt overhead with difficulty before he smiles drunkenly at her. "Better?"

"Much," she grins and moves back into him to kiss him. She misses his mouth a little at first in the very dim light of the room, only moonlight coming through the open picture window.

Dean grabs her shirt and pulls it over her head, it getting caught under her chin for a couple seconds. She makes a grunt of annoyance when her clothing gets stuck before they can work together to make sure it's off for good. Neither are moving so smoothly and its showing.

"Shit, wait," Lizzy stops them and pushes him down by his shoulders until his head hits the pillow again. "I'm too fucking drunk for this."

"Awesome," Dean relieves, draping an arm across his eyes.

"Awesome?" Lizzy asks, offended slightly.

"I wasn't gonna be able to do this," Dean huffs a laugh and peeks at her out the bottom of his forearm. "I mean… even if I could get it up, there was no getting off."

Lizzy laughs at him for his pure honesty. "I don't even think I can unhook my own bra right now," she tells him and flops down next to him on the cushy bed, relieved. "Why did we drink so much?"

"Shitty siblings," Dean tells her easily, sighing with how drunk he feels. The high is starting to take a turn. The room is spinning a little.

"Right. Right… I need water."

"Me too."

"I can't get up."

"Me neither."

"I'm gonna regret falling asleep without water," Lizzy tells him knowingly as her consciousness starts to fade. She rolls onto her side and faces Dean out of instinct.

"Mmhmm," Dean hums lazily, his arm lifting off his eyes to come around her shoulders. He pulls her in close, enjoying the warmth of her form pressed to his. It just feels good and when she scoots closer he finds she fits pretty perfectly right there.

"Sleeping now," Lizzy lets him know she's giving up to the alcohol. Her arm creeps across his waist and she settles in quite comfortable.

Before either knows it, they're fast asleep.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

It's a hushed moan, not at all like he's heard from her in the past, that hits his ears but even though it's a little foreign to hear, it's still stunning. This is different. This is real and deep. This is them, bare bones.

Her legs come around his waist as he leans over her and his chest wants to explode. The rest of his life will look like this. Lou is his. He's completely Lou's. They can live a good, happy life together.

And hopefully they can do this every damn day. This alone is something he could find full purpose in his life within.

"Sam," Lou's voice moans out beautifully and he locks eyes with her, his hips rocking into her at a much slower pace than they've used before. They have all night. They aren't rushing through this momentous time they're experiencing together. Instead they're going to savor it and make it last.

When he sees the love in her eyes combined with the enjoyment of the moment he knows without a doubt this is all he needs.

Arms coming up around his neck, Lou pulls him closer as he moves over her. He leans down onto his elbows, his forearms framing her head, and his hands tangle into the mess of her bright blonde hair on the pillow beneath her. She presses their foreheads together before telling him without a hint of doubt, "I love you."

Sam's lips press to hers quickly after hearing that. He knows how typical and probably cliché the moment is but he couldn't care.

"I love you… Lou, I love you," he confesses quietly into her lips in return.

Wrapped up in each other, they spend the night like this. Confessions, expressions of love, and eventually they fall asleep in each other's arms mid-conversation about their future.

* * *

 

"Morning," Lou smiles as she looks over her shoulder to see Sam walking into her kitchen a little before 10:00 am.

"Morning," Sam smiles back, walking right for her in his jeans and t-shirt from last night. He brings his arms around her waist and holds her tight from behind, his chin to her shoulder in the most clique example of couple-dome he's ever been a part of. He kisses her neck once and says, "Breakfast. Thanks."

"Just don't get used to it," Lou smiles, looking at her man and kissing his lips once. "I don't cook much."

"I know. You hate it," Sam says knowingly. "I'm just surprised to find you at the stove is all."

"Shut up," Lou laughs a little and looks back to the skillet to push the scrambled eggs around with her spatula. "So… what are we up to today? You still wanna grab food and head out to that park?"

"Sure. I was thinking we could stop by Dean's place first though," Sam floats the idea. "Tell him the news?" Sam walks away from her and heads for the already made coffee. He pours a mug and sighs, realizing in this moment that he's going to marry and live with a never ending supply of perfect, delicious coffee. Not a bad deal.

"He's probably still pissed, dude," Lou tells him, remembering how upset her sister and Dean were last night.

"He probably drank it away by now," Sam laughs. "He and Lizzy probably just went to a bar and forgot about it all. I want to tell him."

Lou nods, realizing how badly she wants to tell her sister about the great news. They share everything. Lizzy may hold onto a grudge like a bastard but how many times does a woman get engaged to the man of her dreams?

"Alright, but we have to tell Lizzy too."

"Maybe we kill two birds with one stone by going to Dean's house?" Sam tells her. "She's probably there, right?"

"True."

"I'll call him," Sam grins wide, phone already out with excitement.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Oh god, no," Dean growls out in pain as he hears and feels it. The vibration. The incredibly loud rock riff splitting his skull open. His phone is ringing. "Damn it."

"Shit, make it stop," he hears from next to him as he watches her through bleary, still unfocused eyes as Lizzy rolls away from him and buries her head under a pillow.

"If I knew where it was…" Dean mentions, not awake enough to process everything. Vibrations. Right butt cheek. It's in his jeans… that he's still wearing. What happened?

Dean scrambles to retrieve his phone and looks at the screen with just barely cracked open eye lids.

_Sam Calling_

"Nope," Dean grumps and turns off the ringer, ignoring the call. He then drops his head back onto the pillow under him and sighs, then inhales deeply as the nausea hits. "I feel like stomped on crap."

"You sound worse," Lizzy tells him from under the pillow, his voice sounding like he gargled nails.

"Thanks," he complains and tries to lick his dry lips. His entire mouth has no saliva and it's fruitless to try. It's a desert in there. "Need water."

"Hm," Lizzy answers, still buried, and doesn't move to help. She's falling back into unconsciousness.

"Son of a bitch," he complains as he pushes off the plush mattress and stands up. He wavers a little, lightheaded and possibly still drunk, but manages to make it to the mini-fridge in the room. "Oh, thank god." He finds two full, cold water bottles, compliments of the hotel.

Unscrewing the cap, Dean chugs the entire thing in one go. Tossing the empty into the trash can he opens the second one and pauses. Shit. He should probably let her drink that one. He planned to down the second one also but Lizzy doesn't seem any better than he is.

Sitting down at the foot of the bed, he glances to the digital clock on the nightstand. 10:09 am. He then pushes her leg that's still clad in denim and on top of the covers.

"Die," she threatens as he tries to wake her.

"It's after ten. Get up."

"Why?"

"Check out is at eleven."

"Hate you," Lizzy growls with her hangover as she comes up for air and sits, knowing she has no choice now.

Dean takes one look at her and laughs out loud before holding his painful head.

"What!?" she questions with insult.

"Never seen you hungover in the morning," he laughs out. Her hair is all knotted and messy, her eye makeup is a black smudge under each eye, and she's missing her shirt. She looks like a lost child in the woods with hooker makeup on.

"Shut up," Lizzy gets pissed and stands up, walking for the bathroom in a huff.

"Aw, don't get mad!" Dean patronizes. "You look cute!"

"Fuck off, Dean," she snaps and the bathroom door booms shut.

When he hears the sink faucet turn on he laughs again. Not a morning person. Alright.

Sitting on the bed, Dean runs a hand through his hair and can feel it sticking up in the back. He probably looks like Alfalfa but what can he do? He then looks down and realizes he doesn't have a shirt on. And there's a little drool on his upper chest and shoulder where Lizzy was asleep on him. "When did that happen?" he mutters to himself and looks around. He grabs his shirt from the floor and pulls it overhead quickly. He then looks in the full length mirror in the room to see a puffy eyed, completely out of it, tragic version of himself.

And then he remembers. They got wasted because their siblings are asses. And they couldn't drive home. Hell, they couldn't even have sex. What a mess! He laughs to himself at that.

But then he realizes what _really_ occurred. They spent the entire night together. Hell, they fell asleep after _not_ having sex and they cuddled. In a way, they did everything they're supposedly against and got mad at their siblings for trying to push on them.

He wants to be able to say it was a mistake and he never was comfortable with it. He wants to think he doesn't want this. But he can't help but think differently all of a sudden.

Lately, denial being his only defense, he's been viewing Lizzy in a new light. Maybe he has seen her this way the whole time, but recently he's unable to deny it. He just enjoys his time with her too much. They barely go a day much less a few hours without texting each other something inappropriate or just plain pointless. When they're around each other he smiles the entire time. And the sex… well, somehow that's gotten even better with time. They know each other's likes and dislikes, turn ons and offs, and it's seamless.

Yet here they are getting pissed off at their siblings over possibly seeing more clearly what he and Lizzy just can't. Or won't.

"Shit…." Dean hangs his head and rubs his eyes with all the thoughts in his head. It's too much. And after so long why is he starting to see the light _right now_?

"No kidding," Lizzy laughs as she heard him while leaving the bathroom. She's assuming it's about how craptastic they both feel this morning. When she notices he has a full bottle of water in his hand she lights up and walks to him. "I'm gonna pray that you're about to share that with me," she hope aloud as she stands in front of him, inches away, and points to the water bottle.

Looking up at her, Dean pauses. He's never seen her quite like this before. In the bathroom she washed all her makeup off. No black lined eyes and contoured cheeks. Her black hair with red highlights is up in a high ponytail with just her bangs sweeping across her forehead. She looks different, real, and he loves it. She's purely her. No alterations. No hiding.

"Uh, hello?" Lizzy asks when he never answers.

"It's all yours," he hands the water over. "Already killed one."

"Awesome," she smiles slightly, it's all she can manage, and she takes the offered water. Much like he just did, she chugs down the entire thing in one go. When she done, letting out a loud 'ah', she looks to Dean. "I feel like a pile of shit."

"Ditto," Dean simply replies and washes a rough hand down his face.

"So… blow this joint and grab a greasy ass breakfast?" Lizzy asks, hoping he'll say yes. "Not sure I'll make it back to Davis just yet without some food to soak up the entire bar I drank last night."

"We can do that," Dean nods. "I think there's a little diner around the corner. Passed it last night walking here."

"Perfect." Lizzy nods and looks around the room for her shirt, shoes, and purse. She gathers them up as she tells him, "I'll just do what I can to not puke on the walk over."

"Oh man," Dean laughs.

"What?"

"Just… you hungover. I can't believe how bad it is." He laughs harder.

"Shut up."

"I've never seen it," Dean tells her. "You're always gone before morning. It's… fun."

"Me wanting to throw up is fun!?"

"No… but it's just a new side to you. Just… interesting."

"Don't get used to it," Lizzy gripes. "You're never seeing this again."

His heart drops at that but he ignores it. Instead he doesn't have time to ponder it too much when his phone rings again. Pulling it out, he looks at the screen. "Again?"

"Sam?"

"Yeah… weird. I'll call him after breakfast. Let's go."

* * *

 

"Alright, we're here," Lizzy calls out as she opens the apartment door and tosses her bag onto the small table at the entry way.

"About time," Lou jokes a little as she sits at the small kitchen island with Sam, each sitting with a mug of coffee waiting for the newly arrived pair.

"Okay, so what's the big deal?" Dean asks as he follows Lizzy into the kitchen.

"And please say there's more coffee," Lizzy tacks on, heading for the French press.

"There is. Looks like you need it," Lou laughs a bit at Lizzy's appearance. She's hung over and it's clear as day.

"Yeah. Some bitch and her boyfriend decided to run their mouths last night and they drove me to drink too much to forget," Lizzy glares at them out of the corner of her eyes for a quick second. "That why you wanted us here? To apologize to us for being nosey asses?"

Lou bites her tongue and sighs. "Sam and I are sorry about that. We can see how… presumptuous we were. We thought we saw something between you two that clearly isn't there."

With wide eyes, Lizzy pauses what she's doing to stare at her sister. "Seriously?"

"Seriously what?"

"You're apologizing?" Lizzy asks with disbelief. "Just like that?"

"We want you two to be happy," Sam shrugs, watching the way Lizzy and Dean silently communicate and move together. Without hesitation or asking, Lizzy pours Dean a cup of black coffee while he goes to the refrigerator to get the cream for Lizzy's. He even pours in the right amount for her without questioning. "We thought you were happy together and we pushed it. We shouldn't have. It _was_ nosey."

Lizzy leans her back into the counter behind her to face the pair at the island. Dean does the same, leaving barely an inch between them.

"Wow… uh, thanks," Dean hesitates, not used to this kind of communication with his brother.

"Yeah. Thanks," Lizzy adds on. "We're happy the way things are."

Dean guiltily looks away at her declaration on both of their behalf. Sam doesn't miss it but keeps his mouth shut. He has to from now on. He tried. He failed. Dean has to be on his own about this.

"As long as you guys are happy," Lou shrugs it all off and moves on. "So we wanted to apologize for last night… and talk to you both about something."

"What's up?" Dean asks, sipping his coffee. His eyes blow wide and he looks over at Lizzy. "Shit, this is good."

"It's Lou's," Lizzy nods at her sister, reminding him of what her job is.

"Ah, that's right," Dean nods, remembering her occupation. "Nice work."

"Thanks," Lou again tries to push past everything. "Last night… Sam and I, kinda, decided to take a new step."

"New step?" Lizzy scoffs. "What, you did it with the lights on?"

Dean huffs a laugh, Lou and Sam stay straight faced.

"Why do you think we're so vanilla?" Lou has to ask, getting baited by her annoying sister. "No… wait, nope. Not feeding the troll."

"We just wanted you two to know first… that we're getting married," Sam rips off the band aid and tells them.

Lizzy and Dean just look at them with unreadable faces at first, both processing the news.

"Uh… usually this is where people say congratulations or something," Sam lets them know.

"You've only been together for, like, three months," Lizzy comments, her worry clear.

"It's been six, but what does that matter?" Lou gets slightly defensive. "We're… good. We're in love and it isn't going to change. Six days, six months… I want to marry Sam."

Sam just looks at her with hearts in his eyes for that, smiling with pride. He's way too happy and Dean sees it all over him. It's great. It's everything Dean's ever wanted for his brother.

"Well, damn. This is awesome," Dean says to the happy couple as he pushes off the counter and places his mug on the island. "Congrats, you guys."

Lou grins as Dean walks around to her and opens his arms. At least one of them is handling this kindly. "Thanks, Dean."

He hugs her tight and lets her know, "You break his heart and I'm coming for you."

Lou laughs at the joke Dean easily makes, easing the moment. "I'll be good to him, promise."

"I know you will," Dean says quickly before letting her go and walking for Sam. They instinctually hug tightly, Dean clapping Sam on the back a couple times as his chest nearly bursts. "Proud of you, Sammy."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam says quietly back, the surprise in his voice clear as day. He didn't know what to expect from his brother but this… well, this is really great. And a little unexpected.

"Seriously," Dean keeps going. "Mom would love her."

Sam just smiles sadly at that as they end the hug. Both are smiling and enjoying the moment…

While Lizzy remains skeptical and unsure.

"Well… anything?" Lou asks with hesitation. She knows Lizzy could react terribly. Or she could at least be a little happy. But she's just standing there looking surprised.

"You guys just kinda shocked me," Lizzy admits while painting a forced smile on her face. "It was fast."

"I'm not gonna love Sam less in another year," Lou shrugs, certain of her feelings. "Why wait?"

"Hey, who am I to argue then?" Lizzy tries to brush off her worries. She walks to her sister and hugs her. "Congratulations."

Lou knows it isn't completely sincere. She can just tell how conflicted Lizzy is inside about this. But she can't worry about that anymore. Their whole lives Lizzy has been anti-relationship while Lou held out hope that there were decent men in the world and that she would find one.

She can't hold Lizzy's hand anymore. She tried last night to get her to realize how good she could have it and Lizzy denied, denied, denied. Lou is done.

When they end the hug, Lizzy grins at her in the tell-tale way. She's lost and she's not ready for all this change is about to mean for her personally.

Dean can see it too. They know each other incredibly well at this point and to him she's an open freaking book. This is affecting her for some reason so he lightens it up.

"Man, if I wasn't so damn hungover I'd say we go celebrate and pop a bottle of something decent," he tells the group.

Lizzy just groans in disgust at the idea.

Lou laughs. "It's okay, Dean. We have plans anyways. We just wanted to tell you guys first."

"Well, I'm honored," Dean smirks.

"And since it took forever for you guys to get here, we're gonna leave now before the day's gone," Sam tells them both as he and Lou start to grab jackets and head for the door.

"Have fun, you crazy kids," Lizzy tells them jokingly but her voice falls slightly flat.

"We will," Lou waves and they leave, smiling at each other like the lovesick pair that they are.

When the door shuts, Lizzy's face drops. Her chest hurts and feels empty at the same time. If she wasn't any wiser about her own self she'd almost call this feeling jealousy. Of course, that can't be it. No fucking way. Lizzy's never getting married. Marriage is for suckers.

"You okay in there?" Dean interrupts her turning mind and she sharply looks at him.

"Oh, uh… yeah," Lizzy nods and lies.

"Yeah right," Dean calls her out. "You wanna… talk about it?" He immediately makes a sour face for the horrid offer.

Lizzy finally relaxes and huffs a laugh. "Are you serious?"

"No," Dean laughs back.

"Good." Lizzy sighs and looks around the apartment. "I think I'm just kinda… shocked."

"It was fast," he nods in agreement. "But they're good together. And sickeningly cute."

"I vomit all the time," Lizzy concurs.

"So… you got the day off?" Dean wonders, knowing she does.

"Yeah. I was gonna… catch up on stuff. Laundry. Cleaning. You know, boring stuff."

"You wanna hang out instead?" Dean lightly asks with much hope. She doesn't seem as if being alone would be a good idea right now.

"I think I'm just gonna… be here," Lizzy answers. "Overcome my hangover."

"You sure?" he checks, knowing she has to be lying.

She hesitates before saying, "Yep. I'm good."

She's a liar and Dean knows it. "Okay. I'll leave you to it. Text me later?"

He heads for the door as she says, "Sure."

"Alright. Later, Liz," Dean departs and leaves the apartment.

The moment she's alone Lizzy has a moment of sadness. She has no idea why but she spends the next hour crying in her bedroom, desperately trying to figure out what's gotten into her in a time that should be happy for her.


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR MONTHS LATER**

Tonight is the night.

He's going to pull the trigger. Tell the truth. Come clean once and for all.

He's known unequivocally that he wants her, and not just as a fuck buddy, for months now. It was a hard truth to handle at first but the more he's around her the more he knows this is right. Every second he's with her he's happy. And every moment he isn't with her he's thinking about her.

Even if she doesn't see it yet, he sure does. Clearly. And he's willing to take the chance and confess in the hopes that he can make her see their potential. It's risky, and he could lose what has become his very best friend outside of Sam, but if he can get her to understand what he already does then it'll be worth it.

Dean's tired of this bullshit. They've been dancing around it all for too long. He's ready for more. And he's ready for more with Lizzy.

Wiping his sweaty palms down his jean covered thighs as he patiently waits on the couch in his house, his heart races. Her shift ended a half hour ago so she should be there soon. He bought a good bottle of whiskey and it's set out on the coffee table with a couple glasses. He's optimistic. He's really hoping there's something worth toasting to after he spills his guts.

After Sam got engaged to Lou and after being around them, seeing what it is that makes a good relationship work, Dean's realized that Lizzy is his answer. He's never wanted a relationship before now. He was happy with quickies and nothing serious. But the thought of going on like they have… it's unfulfilling at this point. He wants more for the first time in his life.

Headlights flashing through the living room, he knows she's home. His heart quickens even more. He stands up, paces a bit and takes a deep breath. "You can do this," Dean tells himself in a mini pep talk. "It'll be good. Be honest. It'll be totally worth it."

The keys are jingling in the door knob as Lizzy unlocks it from outside.

"Fuck me, this is a bad idea," Dean mutters to himself last second as the door opens, a bright smile on his face.

He hears her giggling once and his smile drops completely when she walks in… with a guest following her in.

"Hey!" Lizzy greets when she sees him standing there. She shuts the door behind her guest as she mentions, "I thought I'd see you at the bar tonight."

His heart is in his feet when his brain begins to process what's happening. She brought another guy home. She's going to have sex with another guy on the night he wanted to make a massive leap into commitment with her. She's going to fuck another guy in his own house. What the hell?

"I, uh…" Dean stutters, mind not working past the reality of what's happening. Shit. "I… just didn't make it out."

"Your loss," Lizzy shrugs it off and turns to her company. "Luke, this is my roommate, Dean. Dean… Luke."

"Hey," Luke smirks and nods at Dean. Dean just nods once back.

"You got company coming?" Lizzy wonders, looking at the glasses and liquor set out.

"I… no," Dean tells her truthfully. "Had a long week. Splurged on a bottle. Figured you'd want some," he then lies right after.

Lizzy smiles sweetly. "Raincheck?"

Dean looks away for a moment, hurt. "Yeah. No problem." Another lie.

She grins wide. Then she turns to Luke. "My room's this way." She grabs his hand and disappears, shouting a quick, "G'night, Dean!" over her shoulder.

The second her bedroom door on the second floor is shut and The Doors can be heard playing from inside, Dean wants to crawl in a hole and die.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Dean asks himself, plopping onto the couch with self-pity.

He should have seen this coming. It was clearly a mistake asking her to move in when Lou and Sam bought a house together a few months back. Lizzy was lost and homeless and Dean wanted to help. Hell, it's been mostly fun living with her. They get along beautifully, share household chores, hang out nearly every night while watching TV and talking. It's been perfect with the exception of random hook ups with outside people.

He has been no saint himself, he's aware of his own downfalls. In the first weeks after she moved in he brought a couple girls home. Lizzy was fine with it. But then they kept hooking up themselves, which they should have seen would get sticky at some point or another. Roommates fucking can't be a smart move but who said either of them are smart?

Just last weekend they went out and got tipsy at a local dive together. They then came home and fell into Lizzy's bed like they were known to. But this one time they fell asleep after. Dean never made it back to his own bed. They woke up tangled together, limps entwined. It was comfortable and domestic and lovely. The sun was up, they had nowhere to go, and Dean took the few minutes that he woke up before her to just lay there. He studied her face, the serene look she had when resting quite soothing to her, and he let himself enjoy the possibility of this being their future… well, until Lizzy woke up and got weird.

She got up abruptly and tried to shake the whole thing off. Clearly she enjoyed the moment more than she was comfortable with and once she recognized how comfortable and real it was, she freaked. They haven't hooked up since. And now Lizzy's bringing a stranger home for the first time in a very long time.

Dean figures fuck it and reaches for the whiskey bottle. He cracks it without Lizzy and pours a hefty glass for himself. He sits back, takes a long sip, and internally chastises himself for thinking he could ever have more with Lizzy.

She's damaged and Dean knows this. And he hates that Lou and Sam were probably right about the two of them and how well they could work together. But he was willing to admit he was wrong, as long as he got his shot with her.

At this point, however… it isn't worth the pain from holding out hope.

Lizzy's bad news and she'll never change.

* * *

"Just… some random guy?" Sam asks with disbelief as he looks at his brother with shock and pity. "She brought a random guy home last night?"

"Yeah… a ginger at that," Dean gripes sullenly as they sit at the high top bar table together.

"But I thought you two were getting, I don't know… closer."

"Yeah… guess not," Dean mumbles, half in the bag as he swallows down more whiskey that he doesn't necessarily need.

Sam looks down into his pint of beer with a heavy heart. His brother got drunk with him the previous weekend and confessed his evolving feelings for Lizzy. After waking up with her in his arms Dean couldn't hold it back anymore. He told Sam he wanted more and Sam, of course, encouraged him to tell Lizzy and to try to find some happiness with her. He knew as well as anyone that's seen Dean and Lizzy together that they were something big, something that should be.

He regrets that now as he watches Dean's hunched form look pathetic and hurt. He tried. He was going to tell her… and Lizzy screwed it up.

"So… what now?" Sam asks him, looking to find out what Dean plans to do now that he knows Lizzy's not interested.

"No idea," Dean shakes his head. "I gotta live with her so I guess I just shut up and get over it. Not like she's gonna change."

"Clearly she's not," Sam agrees.

"Nope…"

"Even if you have, which is pretty big."

Dean sighs and gulps down more beer.

"I am happy that you're wanting more out of life now, Dean," Sam tells his brother and gets a grumpy grunt in return. "Uh, you know, you don't _have_ to live with her," he then brings up the unseen option.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asks.

"Well, when you told her she could move into your house when Lou moved out you guys never meant for it to be permanent. It was temporary, until she found somewhere to land. You gave her several months. Maybe it's time she starts actually looking for her own place."

"I can't do that to her."

"But you can't do this to yourself either," Sam reminds him. "This is only gonna get worse, Dean. You're letting her hurt you by keeping her in the house. You think this is gonna get easier when she brings home another guy next weekend? Or even tonight?"

Dean face wrinkles with dislike for the idea.

"Look… just mention that she should start looking for a place. Offer to help her find something. Make it friendly since, you know, you two _are_ friends."

"We are," Dean nods, knowing that at this point Lizzy's probably his very best friend. Whether he wants more or not, she's closer to him than anyone else outside of Sam.

"And if she moves out it'll be really easy to keep it that way," Sam keeps suggesting,

"Yeah. Probably," Dean agrees.

"So, go home tonight. Hang out. Talk to her. Let her know that she should try to get her own place."

"Yeah…" Dean trails off, his eyes suddenly focused on something behind Sam.

Following his eye line, Sam can see what it was that distracted his brother so much. A blonde woman at the bar, chatting with a friend, stands tall in a pair of knee-high black boots and a short skirt. Her low cut shirt reveals round, ample sized breasts and her smile is bright. She's hot. She's young. She's Dean's perfect target.

"Dean…" Sam starts to warn against whatever is going through his head.

"Hey, uh," Dean starts, pulling his wallet out and counting out some bills. "Drinks on me. I gotta go."

"Dean, don't. Man…"

"Don't what?" Dean gets pissed, dropping the cash on the table. "Do exactly what Lizzy just did? Don't have some damn fun and let off some steam? Why not?"

"Because you're doing this out of revenge."

"I'm doing this because I _can_ ," Dean corrects. "I'm a free man that can do what I want and _who_ I want." He points to the girl at the bar. "And right now… _that_ is who I want."

"You sure about that?" Sam sharply rebuts, know who it is he really does in fact want.

Dean stands up, narrow eyes on his brother.

"I thought you wanted more than quick sex these days?"

"Can't teach an old dog new tricks overnight, Sammy."

"This is a bad idea…."

"Tell Lou I said hi," Dean departs with, walking for the blonde woman.

Helplessly, Sam watches him chat her up for a total of five minutes as he finishes his beer. After that Dean guides her out of the bar with a hand on the small of her back and Sam just sighs.

His brother is impossible.

* * *

"The cars hiss by my window," Lizzy sings low as she lays sideways across the big, overstuffed chair in the living room of Dean's house, her head propped on one arm and her legs hanging over the edge of the opposite arm. "Like the waves down on the beach."

She then takes a deep inhale of the joint between her index finger and thumb, blowing the smoke into the air and watching it swirl around. She's feeling good. Some decent sex last night. A day off today in which she and Lou went around to some cafes a few towns over to check out the competition. And now, a night in. She needed one. Sometimes she goes out too much. Tonight she just wanted to get stoned and hang around.

"The cars hiss by my window," she keeps singing to herself, relaxed as all hell. "Like the waves down on the beach." Her feet tap as her long, bare legs dangle down. She didn't even bother putting on real clothes. She took a shower and once she had on a pair of red with black trim panties and her black tank top she gave up. Whatever. She's not looking to impress anyone. "I got this girl beside me. But she's… out of reach."

The front door opens and she smiles. Good timing. Maybe Dean will smoke with her and they can hang out, possibly have some better sex to make up for the only decent sex from the night before with Liam… or Luke? It was Luke, right? Shit….

"Hey!" she shouts to him without getting up. She drops her head back and stares at the ceiling. "You wanna get high, bitch boy?"

"Who's that?"

The female voice asking a question peaks her interest. She doesn't know that voice at all. A second later Dean's walking into the room with a tall, leggy, gorgeous blonde.

"Hey," Dean greets awkwardly. "Uh, might have to catch you later on that one."

"Who's you're guest," Lizzy wonders, sitting upright to look them both over.

"Oh… Brenda, this is my roommate Lizzy," Dean introduces to his guest, voice unexcited.

"Hi," Brenda's higher pitched, young voice greets.

"Hey," Lizzy nods once. "Would've made myself decent if I knew we were having company." Looking the girl over, Lizzy realizes she's cute. Hell, she's hot. She's no older than her early twenties. Lizzy gives Dean a look of impressed approval. He's still got it.

"So… we're gonna just…" Dean starts to point to the stairs so they can depart when Brenda speaks up.

"You're tattoos are awesome," Brenda says to her in a very teen-aged voice and takes a step forward, looking at Lizzy's arm. "Like… so cool."

"Thanks," Lizzy laughs a little at her enthusiasm.

"I really like the flower one," Brenda points to one specific tattoo.

"Thanks," Lizzy smiles genuinely. "Got that one for my mom. She passed away a few years back and lilies were her favorite. They were all over our yard."

"Oh… I'm sorry…."

"Don't be," Lizzy tells the apologetic girl. "It was… whatever. Doesn't matter. That was four years ago. You wanna hit?" She offers her joint to the blondie in order to leave the heavy conversation behind.

"Totally," Brenda answers enthusiastically and takes the joint. She sits on the couch near Lizzy and takes a deep hit, making it clear that this isn't her first time smoking weed.

Dean blinks once as he tries to process what the hell is happening right now. He brought a girl home to hook up with, probably out of revenge though he's ignoring that fact for now, and Lizzy's becoming her friend? Really? Is she ruining even _this_ for him?

"Dean?" Brenda asks and when he looks at her she's holding out the joint to him, looking for him to join in.

Rolling his eyes as all he had wanted was to get laid, not chill with his fuck buddy/roommate, he plops down on the couch next to Brenda and takes up her offer. "Uh… alright…." He's not seeing much of a choice.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"What the fuck is wrong with her?!" Lou covers her face with her hands in embarrassment for her sister once Sam tells her what happened the previous night.

"She's… not relationship material," Sam shrugs. "Not everyone has to be…."

"But she's miserable!" Lou tells him with anger, hands dropped as she sits with her feet in his lap on the couch. "I know her. She's full of shit at all times. She thinks she's going to live forever like this!? Bullshit. By the time she's forty and childless and with no one to come home to every night she's going to be so unhappy that all she does is bitch about it. And I'll have to be the one to deal with the fallout."

She sighs heavily as she picks up her wine glass from the end table and takes a sip. Sam doesn't say anything, just rubs a loving hand up and down her bare calf as it rests in his lap. He knows how upset her sister makes her. He can relate. Dean isn't always an easy brother either. But Lou just wants the best for her little sister and Lizzy just doesn't seem to want the same.

"Dean is awesome," Lou says hopelessly. "He's awesome. And he's right there. What the fuck is her problem!? She'll never do better than him! I have no idea why he even bothers with her at all."

"Okay, easy," Sam smiles cautiously. "Lizzy isn't that bad…."

"You say that because she's not your family," Lou complains sharply.

"Well… she kinda is," Sam reminds her. "Or at least she will be in six more months. And Lizzy is pretty awesome too. She just… she's damaged."

"Why is she so damn fucked up when I'm not though?" Lou points out. "At some point she has to just get the fuck over it. I got over it. I know that not everyone is our father and not everyone sucks. Dean wouldn't do that to her if she would just stop being a dumbass and trust him."

"She can't see it," Sam tries to give new perspective. "And I can't blame her. There are things about our family that have stuck with Dean and me. Like… I worry about Dean's drinking all the time. Our dad was a drunk. I don't want that for my brother."

"He does drink a lot," Lou nods, understanding.

"But right now it isn't a problem. I just hope that it stays that way in the future," Sam tells her. "Look, all I'm saying is that we all have damage from our parents. Some it affects more than others. Lizzy… she took it harder than you."

"But she's letting dad win," Lou closes her eyes, angry about this over all else. "She's letting him and his infidelity ruin not just mom's life but her life too. That's not right."

"No. It's not," Sam completely concurs. He then thinks a moment. "Has she ever… talked to anyone about this?"

"We talk all the time."

"No, I mean professionally," Sam suggests. "Therapy. Just talking it out with an unbiased person can help a lot. I know it got me through some stuff when I was younger."

"You went to therapy?" Lou asks, her empathy clear immediately.

"Relax," Sam smiles at her. "I did it for a year. I was… resentful of dad for a long time. I didn't understand why he couldn't pull himself out of the bottle for his own kids. I thought he was selfish and I couldn't forgive him. Dean somehow scraped the cash together for a few months of therapy."

"Did it work?"

"Yeah. It really did. I, uh… I was able to see that dad is just human. And it wasn't that he couldn't get sober for us. We had nothing to do with it and that's okay. It helped me forgive him."

Lou looks away for a moment and thinks. This could be what Lizzy needs. Lord knows that no matter what she says to her little sister it never matters. Maybe an outsider, a professional outsider, can help her. "I'll see if she'll do it."

"Couldn't hurt," Sam adds on.

"Well, it could," Lou laughs. "She might punch me in the face for the suggestion."

"Again… how has she not just given in and gotten together with Dean?" Sam laughs.

Lou laughs in return. "I know! God, she's stupid…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Oh my god… I am _so_ stoned!"

The ditsy laugh that accompanies the statement makes Dean want to roll his eyes. When he looks over at Brenda he can see how wasted she is. Maybe they shouldn't have smoked so much.

"You're really pretty," Brenda says to Lizzy as she looks over at the dark haired woman once more lounging sideways across the overstuffed, upholstered chair.

Lizzy huffs a genuine laugh. "Thanks."

"No, seriously," Brenda tells her, sitting up on her end of the couch. "You're like… model pretty."

"I'm really not, but thanks again," Lizzy tells her, also sitting up. She stands and observes the people on the couch. Both look highly relaxed. "Well, looks like I got you two ready for a nice, chilled night. Enjoy each other." She winks and walks to leave the room.

"Wait!" Brenda calls out and grabs her wrist, pulling her back into the room. Peering up at Lizzy from the couch for a second, Brenda then turns to Dean. "Have you guys ever hooked up?"

"What?" Dean spits out, confused as to why she'd ask that question.

"I mean, you're super hot," she tells Dean before turning back to Lizzy. "And you're, like, the sexiest girl ever."

Lizzy's eyes widen to golf balls.

"And you live together," Brenda keeps going. "You have to have hooked up before?"

"We… might have," Lizzy smirks at Dean, not saying any more on the subject. He just shoots her a surly look.

"Yay!" Brenda lights up.

"Yay?" Dean echoes, confused still.

"Dean… duh!" Brenda says to him, upset that he doesn't get it. "Threesome!"

Bomb detonated. Lizzy and Dean both just stare at the younger girl in the room that just threw out the most unexpected idea ever.

Looking at Dean, Lizzy's face melts into a mischievous smile. She had no intentions of screwing with his night but now… well, this is too good to be true.

"No," Dean immediately denies. He's having a hard enough time getting past Lizzy at all at this point. Now she's ruining his hook ups? She's including herself? This isn't helpful.

"Why not?" Brenda whines, saddened by his refusal.

"It's not a good idea."

"But why?" Brenda stands up and moves right up into Lizzy's personal space, face to face. "You live with her," she says, staring right into Lizzy's eyes. "You know she's beautiful."

"Aw," Lizzy jokes a little with the compliment as her eyes slide over to Dean. She can read how damn uncomfortable he is. She doesn't really know why since, being a heterosexual man, Dean should be chomping at the bit for this opportunity. Therefore… she needs to screw with him a little.

Stepping the extra few inches closer, Lizzy puts her hands on Brenda's hips and presses her entire front to the blonde woman's. She brings her lips closer, an inch away from kissing her.

"Come on, Dean," Lizzy teases, her lips brushing against Brenda's as she speaks. "It'll be fun, you know that much."

"Lizzy, cut the shit," Dean says but the crack in his voice gives him away. This is too much. He's only a man. He can only resist so much and he can already feel his resolve slipping as he grows weaker. He's weak for Lizzy. And he's _really_ weak for Lizzy with another woman, apparently.

"We've fucked before," Lizzy shrugs and turns her head to Dean. Brenda takes the opportunity to place a kiss on her neck, making Lizzy hum and close her eyes for a second. When she lifts her lids she can see the bulge in Dean's pants along with the need in his eyes. "And since when did you turn this kind of thing down?"

"Lizzy, I swear… this is _not_ a good idea," Dean tries to tell her, emphasizing his words so she'll understand he means it.

"Party pooper," Lizzy jokes. She then turns to Brenda, a hand to the stranger's cheek, as she tells him, "Maybe I'll just steal your girl for the night then." Lizzy then moves in and kisses Brenda on the lips, making her moan lightly with just that contact.

It's then that it hits her. Lizzy's never done this before. Ever. She's never been one to be interested in women. College, that was one thing, but not since. She's completely straight. But there's something about baiting Dean right now. He brought home another girl when she had hoped to have him to herself tonight. Is she trying to get even with him for acting like the free man that he is? Did she just get jealous and then need to get even? Or is she really just that turned on by this one girl?

Knowing the answer deep down in her heart, Lizzy stuffs those thoughts to the very far reaches of her mind and ignores them. Games. She's good at playing games. And sex. Stick to what you know, right?

Plus, what the hell? What do the kids say these days? You only live once?

"Come on," Lizzy says to Brenda as she ends the kiss and backs off a step. She grabs her hand and heads for Dean. Seamlessly, she grabs Dean's hand with her free one and pulls. She has no idea if he'll go for it or not when she tries this but hey, worth a shot.

"The hell are you doing?" Dean asks her without standing up, not knowing who this person in front of him is. She's never acted this way. Six months of being friends and he's starting to think he doesn't know her at all.

"I'm getting this party started," Lizzy says obviously. "Dean. Let's just have some fun."

"I already told you… this isn't a good idea."

"Why not?"

Good question. He's never told her how he's feeling and their whole friendship started with having fun and fucking. So, to her, it makes sense that they'd do this together.

But he doesn't know how to share her, clearly. When she hooked up with someone else last night it hurt him. A lot. Now he has to see it up close?

"Dean…" Lizzy starts, never dropping Brenda's hand as she straddles Dean's lap. She leans in and presses a very slow, sensual kiss to his lips. She then asks while this close to him, "Why not?"

Lizzy then reaches up behind her and pulls Brenda into a kiss over her shoulder. Dean watches, Lizzy's beautiful mouth all over this hot chick from the bar and he has to wonder why not? Seriously. Right now that is one good question.

And Dean's weak. For her. For the two women in front of him. For all of it. And the drunk and high state of mind doesn't help.

His hands grip her thighs hard as he watches them kiss. This is too much. How could he say no to this? He's certainly not that strong.

When done, Lizzy leans into Brenda's side when the blonde woman stands back up. "What do you say?"

"Fuck it," Dean says to her and pushes her off his lap. He then stands up and heads for his bedroom. "Why the hell not…?"

Brenda squeals with excitement and nearly skips up the stairs. As Lizzy watches her go her smile falls. He fell for it. He wants this just like she'd hoped he would.

Then why does this feel wrong?

"You made your bed, Noonan," Lizzy speaks to herself as she finally starts to follow them. "Lie in it."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Morning," Lizzy greets as she shuffles her feet along the tiled floor of the kitchen. She heads for the coffee maker with half opened eyes and messy hair.

"Morning," Dean answers back, his voice flat as his heart pounds in his chest. He's been dreading this since last night.

Lizzy grumpily grunts as she pours a cup of coffee and heads for the table for two in the small kitchen. She sits across from Dean with her phone as is her usual move on weekend mornings. He reads the paper, she reads her Facebook feed on her phone, they comment on what they find and discuss nothing of real importance.

Today, though… today feels weird. Shit got weird the night before. And Dean was right. That threesome was a bad idea.

"We need to talk," Dean sternly starts as he folds up the morning paper and looks across the table at her.

"About?" Lizzy feigns stupidity and she doesn't know why. She knows exactly why they need to talk.

"Seriously?" Dean gets mad.

Lizzy rolls her eyes. "Alright. Fine. What about last night needs discussing?"

"How about why did it happen?" Dean asks, his voice sharp.

Looking at him like he nuts, Lizzy tells him, "I wanted to get laid and Brenda offered."

"Bullshit," Dean shakes his head with her lie.

"Well, if you're so sure that you know better than I do, please. Do share."

Dean looks down into his mug at the black coffee and sighs. She's such a pain in the ass sometimes. He knows why she did it. It was to fuck with him. There was ulterior motives and he fell for her crap. So instead of fall into another of her traps, he moves on. "Look. Lizzy. I… I don't think it's smart that we live together anymore."

Lizzy's back straightens upright and her eyes pop open wide with shock. That was the last thing she thought he'd say right now. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think it's time you found your own place," he rushes out and takes a sip, wishing he could hide himself behind his mug.

"Um… where the fuck is this coming from?" Lizzy needs to know, this request feeling completely out of nowhere for her.

"The deal was that you moved here while you found a new place once Lou moved out of the apartment you shared, right?"

"Right…."

"That was five months ago."

"And?" Lizzy asks, not getting it. "Is this about money? Because I told you I wanted to pay rent and you said no…."

"Come on. That's not it," Dean denies right off.

"Then why now?" Lizzy has to know. "I thought we were good."

"We were. For a while…."

"What changed?" Lizzy asks.

Dean looks at her with disbelief for the power of her denial.

"What!?" Lizzy asks, feeling odd about all this.

Sighing heavily, he gets it out there. "I can't keep… hooking up with you. And it not mean anything."

Lizzy huffs a laugh. "Um… what?"

Avoiding her eyes, he scans the room aimlessly as he confesses to her. "We've been doing our thing for a long time now. And that's fine. It's been fun. Really fun. And you've become a really good friend to me."

"Still not seeing any issues," Lizzy comments.

"But I want more," Dean says, sucking it up and meeting her eyes. "I'm not getting any younger and at some point… I want more."

"More what?"

"More… I don't know. Just more."

"Like… a family?" Lizzy asks. "You wanna get married all of a sudden?"

"Maybe I do," Dean fires out, getting annoyed. "And so what if I realize that I should be looking for more in my life? What does that matter to you?"

Lizzy holds her hands out in surrender with his defensive tone. "Not saying that's a bad thing. Just… this is kinda out of nowhere, you know? Before now you've always said you just wanted to have fun and hook up."

"And I did. Until recently," Dean responds, eyes back on his mug.

"So… what changed?" Lizzy asks him, trying her best to understand him.

He doesn't know how to answer that without making her want to run for the hills. So instead he moves on. "All I know is… I won't move on with my life if I'm living with you."

"And why's that?" Lizzy sharply asks him in an almost challenge. "I have never stopped you from doing what you wanted to do."

"Oh really!?" Dean gets upset.

"Yeah. Really," she defensively answers back.

"Then what the hell was last night about?" Dean spits back, never having intended to bring it up.

"Uh… sex," she tells him obviously.

"I brought home a chick and you weaseled your way into it," Dean starts to let his anger out, something he never wanted to do. "You couldn't even let me have that and not involve yourself."

"Weaseled my way in!?" Lizzy asks with wide eyes, shocked with his word choice.

"Damn straight. You didn't want me hooking up with someone else, which is incredibly hypocritical considering you did that very same thing the night before."

She's stunned. "That's how you see it?"

Dean doesn't answer and by doing so makes it clear that he does in fact see it that way.

Huffing a disappointed laugh, Lizzy sighs. "What do you think this is, Dean? You and me?"

He falters at first. Then he tells her, "I think of us as friends that should never have gone to bed together. Ever. Because you have commitment issues."

"Who said anything about committing to each other!?" she shouts, not getting how this is all landing on her.

Angry face sternly locked on her, Dean bites the bullet. "I just… I can't live with you anymore because… you don't want more from me. And I might… want more from you at this point. And I'll just keep hurting myself if we stay like this. So, you have to move out."

Dean returns to his mug and drinks deep as a surprised and speechless Lizzy processes everything. It's silent for some time, the air thick with the information Dean dropped on her.

"So… what? Are we not friends anymore because you have some kinda crush on me or something?" Lizzy asks him, trying to understand.

"That's not… no. I don't want to lose you because I… got feelings involved or whatever. If you aren't here all the time, bringing dudes home in front of my face and giving me the space to figure out this… _thing_ , then we can stay friends. It's just hard to do that the way we currently live."

Dean's head is hung and he's shy all of a sudden. Lizzy's never once seen Dean look small or embarrassed, not like this. Never once.

"This is weird," Lizzy spills out. "I don't like this. It changes everything."

"No it doesn't," Dean spells it out. "And that's the problem. I wish me telling you this changed everything. I wish you could get past what your dad did and see that I'm not him…."

"Watch it!" Lizzy gives him fair warning. She doesn't talk about her dad and his infidelity.

"I want things to change and they can't," Dean confesses. "But… I'm gonna be thirty-four. My little brother is getting married before me. He'll have kids before me and that's… not right. I know now that I want that stuff. I want one person to come home to. I want a quiet life that's good. I want to have a couple rugrats. I want that with you… and I know I can't. So… you need to go."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before shit got weird, dude?" Lizzy gets angry again.

"I was gonna tell you Friday. When you got out of work. But you brought that douchey ginger home and… I never got to tell you."

Closing her eyes, she now regrets that one night stand completely. If she'd known she'd never have brought someone home with her.

"Dean… I, I don't really know what to say…."

"You don't need to say anything," he shrugs.

"No, I do," she denies. "I just wasn't seeing any of this. I feel kinda dumb now."

"Don't," Dean tells her, hurt that he'd make her feel that way.

"I don't want to hurt you," Lizzy tells him, the honesty in her tone almost shocking Dean. "You've been by best friend. I thought things were fine and if I knew they weren't…."

"Stop," Dean shakes his head. "This wasn't about me giving you a guilt trip. I just need space for a while. I don't want to lose what we have. You're… important to me."

He bashfully looks away and Lizzy smiles.

"You're such a fucking girl."

"Fuck off."

Lizzy laughs at that. "Okay. I'll start looking today. I'll find a place, move out… maybe we stop hooking up and we'll be fine. Right?"

Dean looks over at her. Even in the morning, no makeup and messy hair, she's still the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. And he can't help but feel that something in his chest when he's with her or when he just looks at her sometimes. He's worried that he'll never get past that, even if they change things.

"Right," he responds, his voice very unsure.

Lizzy forces a smile onto her face and reaches across the table for Dean's newspaper. She opens it up to the 'for rent' listings, ready to get cracking. Yet, all the while she can feel the bond they have fading.


	5. Chapter 5

**SEVEN MONTHS LATER**

Taking a deep breath, blowing it out through pursed lips, Lizzy smoothes her hands down the front of her floral, vintage dress. The main door of the restaurant is just a few feet ahead but she's nervous to go through them.

Sam and Lou are getting married tomorrow. The event starts now with the rehearsal dinner. They kept it small and casual, only two people in their wedding party. Lizzy is Lou's maid of honor, of course. And there's only one person Sam would choose for his best man.

Seeing Dean again is what has her so damn nervous.

"Suck it up, Noonan," Lizzy says to herself and she takes a few steps. She reaches the door and stops thinking, forcing herself to open it and goes through.

By the time she makes it to the back, private event room, she sees she's fairly early. Not many people there yet.

"Liz!"

Lizzy turns sharply, looking at the man that just called her name. She clenches her jaw and sees who it is.

"Hey, dad," she returns with and forces a smile. They hug, Brian more enthusiastically than her, and Lizzy's already uncomfortable.

"How are you?" Brian asks after ending the embrace. "It's been too long."

"I'm just fine, dad," Lizzy says with a coldness.

"That's good. You look really good. How's dance stuff going?" he asks her lightly, with hope.

Lizzy rolls her eyes. "I quit dancing years ago. Remember? I got hurt?"

"Oh, the knee thing… right," Brian gets embarrassed. "God. I forgot."

"I can tell," Lizzy says and crosses her arms.

It gets silent for a moment, the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort taking over.

"Liz, I was hoping…."

"I'm gonna go say hi to Lou," Lizzy cuts him off and walks away. He was about to get serious and once again try to make excuses for his past. She doesn't want to hear it. Instead, she makes her exit to speak to her sister.

On the way to Lou she passes the bar… and makes a pit stop. This whole thing would go better with some whiskey.

"Hi," she smiles at the bartender. "I'll have a Maker's neat. Hell, make it a double, please."

"Make that two."

Eyes peering to the left, Lizzy sees the other man she was dreading encountering this weekend standing not a couple inches from her at the bar.

"Hey," Lizzy says, her lack of enthusiasm unintentionally obvious.

"Hi," Dean grins his million wattage grin that makes her knees weak. Jerk. "How you doing? It's been, what? A few months?"

"Yeah," Lizzy nods and looks for the bartender, hoping he'll hurry up. "Been busy."

"How's the second location working out?" Dean asks her, honestly curious.

"Oh, it's good," Lizzy nods. "Lou really has some balls putting me in charge of a second Brewtopia spot."

"Nah, she was smart," Dean makes sure she knows. "I'm sure you're killing it."

Lizzy smiles awkwardly with the compliment as her eyes drift over his form without her permission. He's looking incredible. He has on a tailored gray suit she's sure Sam helped him get with a crisp button-down white shirt. The top button is left undone and he forewent a tie. His eyes are brighter green than she remembers and when he absently licks his lips she wants to kill him for looking so fucking good.

"Thanks," Lizzy says when the bartender drops off their drinks. She goes to open her small black clutch but Dean stops her.

"On me," he tells her, wallet open and money slid across the bar top before she can protest. "Haven't seen you in too long. I wouldn't mind catching up with an old friend."

Her heart breaks at that. Friend. She's an idiot.

"I, uh…" Lizzy looks around, spotting Lou across the room. "I just need to say hi to the bride and groom. Haven't yet." She starts to walk off.

"I'll catch you at dinner then," Dean nods slowly, seeing her discomfort. He lets her go.

Deep breath in, Lizzy sighs as she reaches Lou.

"Lizzy," Lou smiles, then drops her grin when she can read Lizzy's body language easily. "What's wrong?"

"Hi to you, too," Lizzy snaps back.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Lou keeps trying.

"Just… I hate these things, you know?" she answers, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"You saw dad," Lou states the obvious.

Lizzy closes her eyes with annoyance. "He didn't even know I wasn't dancing anymore."

"How would he? You don't talk to him," Lou says to her. "But I think you should."

"Fuck no," Lizzy replies sharply.

"Lizzy, just listen to him…."

"How many times, huh?" Lizzy gets mad. "I've talked to him, I've listened, and it's all bullshit."

"I think he'll surprise you," Lou gets upset at Lizzy's denial of their father. "He's sorry. Let him show you that."

Lizzy just rolls her eyes.

"Dean's here," Lou changes the subject.

"Yeah, I know," Lizzy raises her glass. "He already bought me a drink."

"That was nice."

"Of course it was. He's Dean. He's nice," Lizzy comments and sighs heavily.

"Just be friends again," Lou says to her. "See what happens…."

"He's smart. He's probably over me by a mile by now," Lizzy says with a hopeless tone, her eyes sliding to the side of the room she knows Dean's at. She catches him speaking with his father, John, and he tilts he head back to let out a good laugh at something. He's so attractive it hurts.

"So what? You wanted to be friends…."

"Shut up," Lizzy grumps and takes a massive sip of whiskey. "I'm gonna sit down."

Lizzy marches away, not even bothering saying hello to the groom. She finds their table and plops down. Big swig taken, her drink is almost gone. Her back hunched, Lizzy lets the awkward depression of the event wash over her. She knows she should be happy for Lou and Sam, and she is, but acting the part seems too hard right now.

She's a fuck up. She let something good go, she knows that now, and there's no getting it back. And as long as her sister is married to his brother, Dean will always be around to taunt her with what could have been if she had managed to pull her head out of her ass in time.

Brain rambling, a second double Maker's is placed in front of her and it pulls her from her mind. As hers is almost gone, the timing is impeccable.

Dean sits down next to her at the table with a smirk. "You were running on empty."

She sends him a slightly sad smile with the reminder of how great he is. "Thanks, smart ass."

"Thought you were done calling me that," Dean gets fake-offended.

"Never," she huffs a laugh as she turns in her chair to face him a bit. "You'll always be a smart ass."

"That _is_ true," he nods in agreement.

Lizzy laughs, unable to help it. She then sucks it up and reminds herself they're friends. "How have you been?"

"I'm good," Dean nods, settling into his chair more comfortably now that he can see her relaxing a bit. "I hired a new guy at the garage. He's super weird. Good but… weird."

"Weird how?"

"Well, he calls himself Doctor Badass."

"What!?" Lizzy spits out, getting a good laugh.

"Yep. Gave himself the nickname."

"You can't give yourself a nickname," Lizzy denies the thought.

"That's what I told him!" Dean agrees with a giant smile. "I'm telling you, the guy is a cartoon character come to life. But he's damn good at his job so I love him. Just have to get used to his brand of special."

"Oh man," Lizzy shakes her head, grinning. "I gotta meet this guy."

"You know what? I'll give him your number. You guys would be perfect together," Dean jokes.

"Don't," Lizzy rolls her eyes at the thought.

"Oh, come on!" Dean grins, that mischievous glint in his eye. "You'll love him! He's a computer genius with the most glorious, perfect mullet since Joe Dirt. How can a woman resist that?"

"Mullet!? No!" Lizzy busts out a laugh, pushing him in the shoulder like she always used to when he'd get her going.

"Yes! And trust me, you have to see it to believe it…."

* * *

 

Dinner finished, Lou and Sam's thank you announced to the guests, and the night is winding down. Almost everyone has departed, the only people left in the function room are Sam and Lou cleaning up and Lizzy and Dean still in their seats at the dinner table.

"Oh my god!" Lizzy giggles out, her body turned completely to face Dean, his own form turned to her also. "Remember that!?"

"I had to throw out my best frying pan because of you!" Dean accuses with a grin, pointing at her.

"I told you I sucked at cooking!" she rebuts, swatting his finger away. "And you said to try it anyways!"

"I didn't know you were going to burn it that bad though!" Dean laughs hardily. "Jesus! The smoke detectors didn't stop for nearly ten minutes!"

"Ugh, I made your house smell for a week," Lizzy admits, hand pressed over her forehead. "What was I thinking?"

"You were thinking you were gonna make me dinner for my birthday… which I appreciated the effort, by the way," Dean sneaks the compliment in.

"Yeah, well… you got a new set of pans out of the deal, didn't you?" Lizzy reminds him how she made up for the mistake.

"See? Always thinking about me," Dean jokes back.

Lizzy face falters when he has no idea how right he is.

"Okay, you kids," Sam announces as he walks over to them. "They're closing up. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

"No one's going home, Sammy," Dean reminds him as all guests already in town are staying at the hotel next door. He looks at his watch and sees how late it is. "Shit. We should head out." He stands and Lizzy follows.

After a quiet walk back to the hotel, Sam and Lou depart for their own room. Lizzy smiles up at Dean next to her as they stand in the lobby. Damn she missed him. And seeing him looking so good, being so kind and getting along with her so well… she misses all of him. Cutting him off was a bad idea.

"So, um… my room is…" Lizzy starts to invite him to her room despite what a terrible idea it is.

She gets cut off.

"Dean!" a bright, cheery voice calls out through the hotel lobby.

When they both look to the voice, they see a beautiful woman walking their way with a small rolling suitcase. Her bright white teeth are showing within her dazzling smile. Her dark hair frames her tanned face. She's adorable. She's the girl next door type with a killer body.

"Lis, hey," Dean grins wide to her when he sees her. The second she reaches them Dean leans down to kiss her cheek and bring an arm around her lower back.

Lizzy feels all the air exit her lungs in one big whoosh.

"Lisa, this is my friend Lizzy," Dean introduces them. "She's the maid of honor."

"Hi!" Lisa perkily greets, holding out a hand. "Sorry I didn't make it to dinner. Work, you know?"

Gritting her teeth for a second, Lizzy shakes her hand. "Nice to meet you. You're Dean's date to the wedding?"

"Yes," she answers happily, her eyes peering up at him with nothing short of adoration. "Which might be crazy since we've only been on two dates but hey… I love weddings. So, why not?"

When Lisa laughs and the sound is purely cute and attractive as hell, Lizzy's sunk. She doesn't even really like women and _she'd_ want to be with Lisa. She's screwed.

"Well, it was nice to meet you," Lizzy starts to panic and depart. "But I'm going to head to my room. Have a, uh… good night."

Dean knows her smile is fake when she says it. His heart hurts. "Night, Lizzy."

Watching her walk for the elevators on the other side of the lobby, Dean's internally pissed. He could swear she just got disappointed by his having a date to the wedding. And now it dawns on him that she might not have one. He just assumed she would because she is Lizzy, she could have any guy she wanted.

But why would she be disappointed? She's the one that turned him away. She's the one that doesn't do relationships, right?

"Dean?" Lisa says him name and he realizes he's been staring at Lizzy across the wide open room this whole time he got stuck in his head.

He grins at her and pulls her closer into his side. "Sorry. Let's head up to my room, huh?"

* * *

 

"They seemed cozy as fuck is all I'm saying," Lou tells him from the open bathroom door in the hotel suite as she brushes out her long blonde hair after the rehearsal dinner.

"When are they not?" Sam responds with annoyance as he's stretched out on the big, cushy bed, back to the large headboard and ankles crossed. "I don't like it."

"I wouldn't if I were you, too," Lou admits. "But you have to admit… it was kind of nice to see them get along."

"I don't think it was nice. It was unnerving," he corrects, pulling his tie loose and unbuttoning his top button.

"Well, I thought it was nice," Lou mumbles quietly before adding, "Maybe they just needed time away from each other to realize how much they like being around each other."

"Yeah…" Sam grumps, unhappy. He wanted Lizzy to leave his brother alone after everything. Dean's heart was broken by her lack of returned affection once he came clean to her and he doesn't want to see more of that. When Lizzy moved out and kept her distance, Dean had gotten sad. Really sad. Sam had never seen him like that and it wasn't good. He was finally getting better, seeming happier, before tonight. "I just hope he likes the girl he's bringing to the wedding enough to see that he doesn't need Lizzy."

"Or maybe…" Lou comes out of the bathroom in her short, form-fitting white lace dress from the dinner. "She'll make him realize Lizzy was a better choice."

"No offence to you… but I don't think she's a better choice."

The way Lou turns to look at him, offence fully taken, Sam regrets speaking up.

"I'm sorry. I'm just speaking from my particular perspective on this one."

Her face lightens. "I know. And I shouldn't get upset." Lou sighs and stands at the foot of the bed looking at him. "I know Lizzy's got her issues. And I know how difficult she is. But I also know she's totally aware of her fuck up. And that she knowns now that she wants Dean."

"She'll never apologize for the way everything went down." Sam shakes his head, knowing she's that stubborn.

With sadness, Lou admits, "Probably not. And it'll be her fault if that's why she loses him for good."

Sam runs his hands through his hair with frustration. "As much as you want them together, I just hope this Lisa woman can make him forget about her. Because I know if Lizzy just said the right thing, looked at him the right way… Dean would go right back to her."

Seeing the toll this has taken on Sam, the two brothers so close that one's pain are the other's pain as well, she reaches behind herself and pulls the zipper down the back of her dress.

"Why are we so damn concerned about our stupid, drama-filled siblings right now?" she wonders, threading her arms one at a time through the straps of her dress. She keeps eye contact as she shimmies the dress down her hips until it's pooled around her ankles. "It's _our_ weekend."

"It is," Sam nods, sitting up taller as he watches her undress. Immediately his hands reach to the fly of his slacks to open them.

"We're getting _married_ ," Lou keeps reminding, unhooking her bra and letting it join her dress.

"We _are_ ," Sam grins so wide with his excitement over that, kicking out of his pants.

"I'm not gonna let their crap interfere with our weekend," Lou declares resolutely, climbing up onto the bottom edge of the bed and crawling up his way with just her panties on. "Not anymore."

"That's a good plan," Sam agrees completely, his hands running up her arms as she climbs into his lap, straddling his thighs.

"So… from this moment until we get off the plane from Paris in a week and a half… no talk of stupid siblings and their bullshit," Lou sets the rule in place as she unknots Sam's tie and pulls it out of the collar of his shirt.

"I think that's a great idea," Sam lets her know he's fully on board as he weaves both hands into her long, wavy hair. "You're so smart."

"Better believe it," she smiles back before leaning into him. She presses her lips to his as she opens his shirt one button at a time.

As Sam pulls his arms out of his sleeve, he asks her, "Aren't we not supposed to do this before tomorrow or something?"

"We're not even supposed to be in the same room tonight," Lou laughs. "We're not all that traditional. Hell, you've already seen my dress."

"That's true," he concedes as he grabs her hips and lifts them, getting her up on her knees so that her breasts are in his face. He grins and presses a kiss to the center of her cleavage.

"So, fuck all tradition is what I say… oh," she lightly moans at the end of her declaration when his lips wrap around a nipple. She grabs a handful of his brunette hair in each fist as he uses his mouth to warm her up all too easily. "Mm. Traditions are dumb."

"So dumb," Sam agrees as he speaks into her skin, never stopping. "Gotta make sure you don't get cold feet tomorrow."

"You think I'll change my mind?" Lou half laughs at the very idea.

"Not really," Sam smiles up at her. "But just in case." He once more grasps her hips hard and flips her onto her back. He then moves over her, kissing her lips once. "Can't hurt to give you a little demonstration of what life will be like with me." He then starts to lower down her body, sliding her underwear down her legs. "Make sure you'll stick with me."

"Oh, demo away, honey," Lou smirks with excitement as he settles face first between her legs. One broad stroke of his tongue and she's melting down into mattress with a moan. "God, I fucking love you…."

* * *

 

The wedding was short. It was simple. Lou dress wasn't overly ornate and the guest list was small. However, it was lovely and perfect for Lou and Sam.

And it went by so fast. Already they're halfway through their reception, the two of them sharing their first dance together.

"I feel weird," Sam tells her, eyes scanning the crowd of people around them all staring at them swaying together.

"Yeah… me too," Lou admits, making a sour face. "Maybe this whole first dance thing was a bad idea."

"It sounded nice in theory…."

"But now it's kinda creepy," Lou finishes his thought for him.

"Just pretend they aren't here," Sam tells her, smiling down at her as he remembers why today is wonderful. He takes in her long hair, wavy and adorned with flowers that matched her bouquet, and her lace dress. She's been grinning wide all day. She's perfect. "You're so beautiful."

She laughs. "I know. You've told me roughly a hundred different times."

"Well, it's not every day a guy gets to marry the most stunning girl in the world."

"That was cheesy," she smiles unstoppably.

"I stole that one from Dean," he jokes to her. "But it's true. You look amazing."

"Thanks," Lou says, pressing her body a little closer to his. "You're looking pretty damn good yourself."

"Aw," Sam jokes.

"Who knew you Winchesters could clean up so well."

"We're full of surprises." Sam grins, his face unable to stop smiling the entire day. "Lou… I love you."

"I love you, too," Lou tells him and he leans down to kiss her.

The room lights up in 'aw's and Lou ends the kiss with an eye roll.

"Would you people knock it off and get out here already!?" she yells to the crowd, everyone milling around making their way onto the dance floor in pairs.

Once it seems that the whole party is dancing around them, Sam nods. "Much better."

Lou hums in agreement.

"And now, maybe this time no one will notice if I do this," Sam smirks before placing a large hand to her cheek. He then leans down to kiss her, Lou easily accepting the embrace. Luckily no one bothers them this time in the sea of dancing people.

After a moment of leaning down to her much shorter height, Sam brings his arms around her back and lifts her off her feet. He stands tall, Lou held a good foot off the floor, and they continue to kiss each other and enjoy their newly made and official bond.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Eyes never leaving the dance floor, Lizzy sits at her table in her bridesmaid's dress. She has a cocktail in front of her and she spins the glass stem slowly in her fingers. She watches Lou get literally swept off her feet by one of the kindest men on the planet and she smiles sadly.

She then catches a glimpse of Dean in the crowd, Lisa's arms around his neck as they dance together. She makes him laugh, the genuine kind of laugh, and it's all Lizzy can do not to throw up.

This day sucks as much as it's good.

"You know, you could at least pretend to be happy for your older sister."

And now it just plain sucks.

"I _am_ happy for her, dad," Lizzy says in a teenage-level defiant tone. She turns to look up at him behind her seat. "See?" She points to her sarcastically smiling face. "Happy."

"Bullshit," her father calls her out as he holds out a hand. "Come on."

"Pass," Lizzy coldly answers.

"Liz, get up and dance with me before you make your sister more concerned about you on her wedding day than she is about her own self."

Biting her tongue, he makes a good point. That's not something she wants for Lou and, knowing her, she would be too concerned about her sister and she'd let it kill her big day.

With a huff, Lizzy slams back the rest of her Manhattan and gets up. She doesn't take his hand but follows him out to the dance floor. When they find a spot on the edge of the crowd, her father takes her hand now that he has to and she can't argue. She puts a palm on his shoulder and they start to move slowly, Lizzy looking around the room.

"I wanted to talk to you," Brian tells her, taking the chance when he sees it.

"We don't have anything to talk about," Lizzy simply tells him, looking past his shoulder at the wall of the banquet hall.

"I'm sorry," he tells her.

Eyes sharply flying to his, Lizzy's stunned. He even looks sincere.

"I am," Brian keeps going. "I know I've never said it before and meant it and that's… wrong. And cowardly. But I mean it. I'm sorry, Liz. For what I did in the past."

Her brow lowers and she gets mad. "Now? _Now_ is when you're finally sorry?"

"I know it's too late…."

"You're damn right it's too late," she tells him with anger, keeping her volume low for the surrounding guests. "Now that mom's gone you're finally realizing you're an asshole?"

Brian's face falls. "You're right to say all of that. You aren't wrong, Liz. I've made some massive mistakes. And I wish…." He pauses to clear his throat. "I wish it didn't take losing your mother for me to finally see how much of an asshole I was to her. And to you and your sister."

"That's so fucked," Lizzy gets mad at her father for his terrible timing.

"I loved your mother…."

" _Bullshit_."

"I didn't show it but I did," Brian keeps going. "I loved that woman… but I'm a damaged human being. I never had a good example of a loving, faithful marriage in my own home. And that's not an excuse, it's just the truth. I should have learned from my own dad… not repeated his mistakes. But I became what I hated growing up. I know what it did to me… and I see what it did to you."

Lizzy shakes her head, again avoiding his eyes. She wants to run away from this conversation but her macabre need to hear it all wins out.

"Lizzy, I'm sorry for what I did to you growing up. I know it wasn't fair to any of you. But most men are not like me. They aren't. There are good guys out there and Lou and I… we're worried about you."

"Fuck you," Lizzy huffs a laugh and starts to walk away, her father puling her back in by her hand.

"Young lady, you own me the rest of this song to say my peace. You do that then I'll never try and talk to you about this ever again and you can continue to ignore my existence if that's what you want."

Pausing, she thinks it over. It's a good deal. She returns to him and they keep dancing.

"I will forever have to live with how I treated your mom," Brian's voice wavers. "I… she was an amazing woman that never gave up on me when she absolutely should have. And I loved her so much… I just couldn't show it right and I… couldn't stop." He clears his throat again. "I wanted to stop."

Lizzy hears something familiar there. She's wanted to stop too. She's wanted to stop being _her_ so many times. She pushed Dean away and she wanted to stop herself but couldn't. She's wanted to stop having one night stands. She's wanted to find a real relationship. But she couldn't stop being the way she was. She knows how this feels.

"I will never be able to sincerely apologize to her. And I have to live with that every day for the rest of my life. I will always beat myself up for that every single day but I deserve that."

Lizzy looks at him with new eyes. He means it. She can tell. He's never meant it when he's told them he was sorry before now. It was always so empty… but not this time.

"Liz, don't live with regrets," Brian tells her. "I want far better for you than what my life has been. Don't screw up like me. Don't let your parent fuck you up that hard. Live a better life than I did." He leans in and kisses her cheek before telling her, "Believe it or not, I love you. And I've been a terrible dad. I just have to try and do what I can to make it up to you from here on out. Lizzy, honey… I'm really sorry."

Eyes watering over, Lizzy bites her bottom lip before she backs away from him. She wasn't ready for all this and everything he's saying is hitting her so hard. Everything from wounds from the past to her own fuck ups in her present life rush through her and she can't handle it all.

"Excuse me," she shakily tell him and flees the dance floor, heading for the hallway for the banquet hall.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

The second she rushes out of the large open room, Dean's put into action.

"Lis, I'll be right back, okay?" he asks kindly as he separates from her on the dance floor.

"Oh, uh… sure," Lisa agrees kindly and he's off, leaving her standing there. He'll apologize later. He needed to go.

Yes, Lizzy fucked up and broke his heart. But that doesn't mean he doesn't care tremendously about her. He kept an eye on her the entire time she was dancing and speaking to her dad. He wasn't close enough to hear a single word said but he knows how damaged that relationship is. After her mother passed away from breast cancer a few years back she all but cut him out for his cheating ways.

Lizzy and her father have a very broken relationship. Dean knows how hard it's been on Lizzy. It's why he's never blamed her for not being able to have a real relationship. It killed him but he never blamed her.

Just catching the sight of a door closing in the middle of the banquet hallway once he catches up to her, Dean runs to it. When he reaches the coat check closet he knocks on the door. No answer. "Lizzy?"

She doesn't respond but he knows she's in there.

"Lizzy, let me in?" Dean asks and still gets nothing. "Talk to me, please? I saw you with your dad… I just wanna know you're okay."

The door opens a crack and stops. He takes the cue and lets himself in.

Closing the door behind himself, the room is pitch black. Dean pulls his cell phone out of his suit pocket and turns on the flash light function to illuminate the small room. In the middle of the hung coats and empty hangers stands Lizzy, eyes red and watery with running makeup.

"Oh no," Dean says quietly, placing the phone on a shelf so he can hug her. He wraps his arms around her shaking form and she hugs him back, hard. "What did he say to you?"

She takes a deep breath and tells him, "He said he was sorry."

"What!?" Dean asks, pulling back to look at her. He knows the story. Her father never truly apologized, not once. "Seriously?"

"He did. And he actually meant it," Lizzy tells him, backing up a step to look at him. He cares so much about her, even after she disappointed him terribly and then left him high and dry. She was supposed to be his friend and after moving out she just stopped taking calls and texts and left him. Why did she do that?

"Holy shit. Why now?" Dean asks, needing to understand.

"He lost mom and it hit him. And… he doesn't want me to turn out like him. He's alone and sad… and he thinks I'll be the same," Lizzy explains basically, feeling everything start to pour out of her. If her dad can be honest with himself, then so can she. She needs to be. "I don't want him to ruin my life."

"So don't let him," Dean says, his hands coming to her upper arms at each side of her. "Lizzy, you don't have to let him do that to you."

"I fucked up," she says, a new wave of tears and sobs overcoming her. "Dean, I fucked up so bad."

"How?" he asks her.

"You," she says, inhaling deeply. "God, you. I fucked up everything with you."

Dean doesn't speak for a beat, eyes wide and heart beating hard. "What!?"

"I don't know why I pushed you away," Lizzy tells him, going for it. "I mean, I know why but I don't. You were my best friend. You were my favorite person. I loved being around you and just hanging out with you and, and… the sex… I mean, come on, right?"

"It _was_ good," Dean nods, agreeing with a smirk.

"I had everything with you… and all I had to do was trust you. And I couldn't. And you didn't do anything to make me mistrustful. It was all my shit. God, and now… I lost my chance. I know I did. You're here with Lisa… and that's cool. Actually, it's kinda awesome. She's so cute and she seems super nice…." She sighs hard and gathers herself. She breathes for a moment and collects her emotions, ending her sobbing. She wipes her eyes and then looks right at him. "You were right. About us. We were good and we should have been together. We made too much sense to not be together. And I ruined it. So… I'm sorry, Dean. I am so sorry I didn't see it until it was too late…."

She's cut off by a pair of perfect lips pressing sweetly to hers. She's shocked. Just a moment ago she was spilling her guts, feeling like an idiot for doing it the way that she did, and now she's being kissed by the one man she was sure would never want her again.

Taking advantage, she kisses him back. Her hands come up to cup his jaw on each side and she absorbs it all. They were always so good physically. Everything came together when they would touch in any way. And damn, she missed simply kissing him.

When Dean ends it and backs off just a few inches, hands still gripping her upper arms, Lizzy opens her eyes to see green ones locked on her and filled with sincerity.

"I still… Lizzy, I…." Dean stops and wrinkles his brow, trying to formulate the words. "Every day. I think about you every single day still. Lizzy, I never got over you. I tried. I went on dates, fooled around a couple times, brought some girl I just met to my own brother's wedding… but I still always thought about you. Even after you stopped responding to me."

She tries to speak but can't. She never expected this. The assumption was that he was past it all and she missed her window. A smart man would have gotten over her as quickly as possible.

"You're an idiot," Lizzy tells him with a hint of happiness for his stupidity.

"Yeah, well… you're not much better. Hate to tell ya." He smiles at her.

If she didn't know for sure how much she wanted him beforehand, then she definitely knows now. And now that she's sure he's still wanting her too… she _needs_ him. "I want to try and not suck. And be a real adult for once."

Dean laughs at that. "I would love for you to be a real adult with me."

She smiles and sighs at how damn cute he is. "Are you serious?"

He looks at her like she's insane. "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

"Yes."

"Then why the hell wouldn't I be serious? All I want is you."

She then surges forward and kisses him, arms around his neck. She couldn't help it. Never in a million years, with all the mistakes she's made, could she have guessed that this day would end up like this. Mid-kiss she laughs a little before leaning back away from him a bit. She looks directly at him and asks him, "Is this where we fuck in a coat check closet at my sister's wedding?"

"God, I hope so," Dean answers and attacks her, lips pressed to hers in a sudden frenzy as he already has his jacket halfway down his arms.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Lizzy responds quickly, hiking her short bridesmaid dress up to pull her panties off, all the while attached to Dean at the lips. She starts to kick out of her heels.

"No. Keep 'em on," Dean tells her, reaching for her. He slides his hands hastily up her dress, bunching it up above her hips as he grabs her sides.

Kissing him more, Lizzy's hands fly to his slacks, opening them blindly as quickly as she can. She reaches in once they're opened and grabs him hard, making Dean sigh a moan into her mouth. She strokes him a couple times, knowing she doesn't need to as he's already fully hard, before lowering his boxer briefs enough to pull his cock out.

"Shit," Lizzy says with disappointment, pumping her fist over his manhood. "I don't have a condom."

Dean just looks at her with pure let down. "I didn't bring anything."

They stare each other down for a moment, contemplating.

"I'll go to the pharmacy tomorrow morning," Lizzy tells him her intentions before slamming her lips to his again, her tongue on his immediately.

"You… sure?" Dean asks, already grabbing her thighs and lifting her up. She took Plan B once before when they were living together and got so drunk they forgot protection. It made her sick to her stomach for a full day.

"Dude, worth it," Lizzy informs him as he presses her back to the far wall of the coat room. "I'm sure."

"But you'll be sick…" Dean starts to remind her but she presses a hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Dean," she says his name hard and serious. "Fuck me."

He didn't need further prompting. Nodding his head hard, she takes her hand back. With eyes connected in heated stares, Lizzy then licks her hand from base of her palm to the tips of her fingers, getting it wet. She then reaches lower and grabs him once more, stroking his cock a few times and coating him in saliva.

"Oh, fuck," Dean whispers with his face buried in her neck. Even just her hand feels too good after not having been with her for months on end. He starts to kiss her neck, running his tongue and lips over her skin in the spots he recalls her loving most.

"Mm, I missed this dick," Lizzy tells him in a breathy voice, so worked up by just the thought of this happening once again. She moves him and positions his head at her entrance while he holds her up against the wall.

Moaning once, Dean slowly pressed up into her. He then stills himself and enjoys the heat of her tightly wrapped around him. Turning his head to face her, he tells her into her ear in a low, needy tone, "Uh, I fucking missed you. God, I've been jerking off to memories of all the dirty shit we did for months just to get by."

Lizzy smiles at that as he runs his tongue around the shell of her ear. "Like what?" She's dying to know.

Lifting his head to look right at her, he grins back as he pulls out and pushes back into her with force once. "Like the time we fucked behind the bar after you wrapped up your shift." He thrusts into her hard once more. "And you poured tequila all over your tits and I licked it off while fucking you."

"Mm," Lizzy buzzes with enjoyment as she bites his bottom lip between her teeth lightly. Hearing him recall their greatest hits is turning her on more than she could have expected. He starts moving into her faster and she asks, "Loved that. What else?"

"Remember the time…" He kisses her, all tongue and heat. "You made me jerk off in front of you?"

Lizzy moans at the memory as he fucks her into the wall. "Definitely. Oh, god. You were so shy. It was cute."

"Fuck you," Dean huffs a laugh as he pushes into her over and over.

"It's true," she fondly smiles before kissing him again.

"Yeah, well… the image of you cleaning the cum off my stomach with your tongue after I finished was worth the embarrassment," he speaks into her smooth skin before running his tongue across her collar bone that's exposed in her strapless dress as he fucks her. "And it's come in handy on many lonely nights."

"Uh, fuck," Lizzy groans as it all builds, his rough yet somehow honey-coated voice always a turn on… even more so when he's talking so dirty to her. "You ate my pussy like a starved man after that. God, I came twice."

A near growl comes from Dean's throat at that.

"Remember that time you fucked me in a closet at my sister's wedding?" Lizzy plays along, moaning when he snaps his hips particularly hard with her words. "And halfway through you turned me to face the wall with my ass out and fucked me like the first time we did it?"

Eyes burning into hers with her request, Dean pulls out of her and drops her to her feet without hesitation. He then turns her around roughly by the hips and pushes her against the wall. He presses his entire front to her backside, his hands feeling up and down her thighs, hips and sides. He leans into her ear. "I could fucking kill you for disappearing and keeping this from me."

"Please don't," Lizzy overly innocently says over her shoulder as she sticks her ass out into him. "Then I can't make it up to you. You know, for my stupidity and all." She winks.

"Oh, you're gonna make it up to me alright," Dean lets her know, his voice very serious as he grabs himself and pushed back into her from behind. She moans from deep, the sound filling him with pride and desire for her. "This is just a drop in the bucket, baby."

"Mm, oh really?" Lizzy asks, he cheek to the wall as he starts to fuck her, her moans coming more quickly.

"Oh yeah," Dean lets her know, speaking into her ear so closely she shivers once. He grabs one of her hands and presses it to the wall by her head, linking their fingers together. "I'm talking sex every night. On demand."

"Oh, fuck…."

"And blow jobs," Dean tells her. "All the blow jobs."

"Easy tiger," Lizzy laughs a little.

"And cleaning my house in a maid's outfit…" he tells her, his free hand reaching around her front to find her clit. "While I watch you…."

"As long as I get to polish your knob when I'm done," Lizzy smirks before moaning again, Dean's hips speeding up with the idea.

"Fuck. I think we're gonna be just fine…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Damn it," Sam mutters in a quiet tone as he watches Dean walk back into the ballroom adjusting his suit. His hair is sticking up on the right and his boutonniere is at a very off angle.

"What?" Lou wonders, looking up at him with confusion.

"That," Sam points at the doorway as Dean walks in towards Lisa, his date now sitting at her table waiting for Dean to return.

Right after they both catch Lizzy coming in too, her professionally done hair half down now and she's wearing a suspicious smile.

"Fuck," Lou echoes, her voice much happier than Sam's.

"If this falls apart, I swear, I'm not listening to Dean's heartache bullshit," Sam declares now.

"There won't be any heartache," Lou shakes her head. "Lizzy won't fuck this up again."

"Yeah right…"

"And I'll remind you of your lack of faith on their wedding day," Lou says with a big smile, fixing the lapels of his suit coat. "And I thought we weren't talking about them until after the honeymoon?"

"Right," Sam nods, his eyes still on Dean. He's worried. He doesn't have faith in this.


	6. Chapter 6

**THREE YEARS LATER**

"Fuck… fuck… fuck…."

Pacing the hallway outside of the bathroom, Lizzy watches the timer tick away on her phone. Two minutes. Two minutes and her fate, her entire future, is going to be decided for her. Just two stupid, way too short minutes…

The timer goes off and Lizzy briefly thinks she might puke.

"Okay… it's gonna be okay. Everything will be okay," she nods to herself, her mini pep talk all bullshit and she knows it.

Deep breath, Lizzy walks into the bathroom and to the vanity counter. She looks.

"Oh, fuck me!" she yells out with fear and anger… and shock. "No fucking way!" She steps back from the white plastic stick of terror, her heart hammering as she presses a hand over her mouth.

Plus sign. She's pregnant.

"How the fuck did this happen?" she whispers to herself as she walks back out of the bathroom in a daze, needing to put some distance between herself and the test of doom. She meanders the house as her mind flies. Surprised isn't exactly a strong enough word for what she feels.

She's pregnant. She's going to have a baby. She's literally creating a person as she stands there, one that will grow up and call her mom. And drain her already not full enough bank account. And need college tuition. And basic guidance. And a responsible parent.

That's not her! She's not responsible! She can't give guidance to a kid if she's still a kid at heart herself!

Well, she's not a kid technically, she's aware. Lizzy just lives like one. She still gets drunk every single weekend and certainly doesn't want to stop. At the age of twenty-nine she has no plans to change her lifestyle at all… but this changes everything, whether she's ready or not.

Sitting onto the couch she holds her head in her hands for a second. What the fuck is she going to do?

"Louie!" she remembers and frantically pulls Lou's number up on her phone, dialing instantly. Her sister has talked her down from every single ledge in her life. This is the biggest one she's stood on yet. Thankfully she'll always have Lou to prevent her from jumping. Lou can help get her through this….

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"I'm worried about possible issues with the lining of your uterus at this point. And your hormone levels worry me, Lou."

Sitting in a chair across the desk from her OBGYN doctor, Lou swallows hard. "What does that mean?"

"It means, as of right now, with your extremely low levels of estrogen… there's no way you'll be able to get pregnant no matter what state your uterus is in," the doctor rips off the band aid.

The punch to the gut makes it hard to breathe. Lou shakes her head with disbelief and asks, "I won't get pregnant like this?"

"No."

"Ever?"

"Oh, no," her doctor smiles kindly. "I wouldn't count pregnancy out for you at this point, not by a long shot. However, it might take time and a lot of investigating to find out what the cause of the problem is and how to treat it."

"Okay," Lou nods as she feels her phone start to vibrate in her pocket. She pulls it out to peek, sees Lizzy's name, and silences the ringer. She puts it back into her pocket. Lizzy can wait.

"So, here's what we need to do," the doctor starts, pulling out a few pages from a file folder. "Because of your insurance, you need to find an infertility specialist to work with in order to further investigate. They require a specialist for you to receive coverage. Here's a list of the ones that are covered by your insurance company. Once you have an initial meeting with a specialist, they will set you up with the proper tests you'll need to investigate the root of your infertility."

Infertility. Infertile. She'd never placed that label on herself before now but after two years of trying and two years of failing it makes sense. But that word… it's so ugly. She can feel the lump forming in the back of her throat.

"I'll look into them," Lou nods, voice suddenly much quieter as her new reality sets in. "Um… so, what kind of tests do you think they'll need to do?"

"Well, I can't speak on your new doctor's behalf but I can almost guarantee that Sam's sperm count will need to be tested to make sure that once they solve your possible issues that you will be able to conceive."

"That's easy," Lou nods.

"Trust me, for men this is the easy." She smiles at Lou comfortingly. "Past that, you'll probably have some ultrasounds, they will test your egg count which will probably be on the high side as the low levels of estrogen tend to prevent egg release. And you'll have more detailed testing of your levels. Also, an MRI might be necessary."

Lou closes her eyes for a moment, willing back the tears. All she wanted was what everyone else wants. She just wants a family. She simply wants to be a mom. Never before now did she think that'd be such a huge thing to desire. Why is this so damn hard for her?

"Lou, it's going to be alright," her doctor kindly tells her, reading her thoughts. "I know it's overwhelming and it feels like it's not going to happen because it's been a while already… but trust me. It'll happen. It's very rare that I see someone that needs to look for options outside of pregnancy. We're going to figure this out."

"It's just a long road ahead, right?" Lou looks for some more reassurance.

"It may be but Lou, you _will_ find a way to be a mother," she tells her the truth. The doctor then takes the paper with infertility specialists listed on it back. She circles one particular name with her pen. "Call Doctor Sanchez. He's a friend. He's the best around here. Generally I'm not supposed to pull favorites but… just trust me. He very proactive. And honestly, I have three children myself because of him."

Lou nods, looking at the pages of information she was given. Pamphlets and lists and printouts… and this is just the very beginning. This is completely overwhelming.

She wants to cry.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Fuck!" Lizzy shouts with frustration when Lou doesn't answer.

She tosses her phone aside and shakes her head. Lou always answers her calls. Always. Why is now the one time she ignores her call? What the fuck?

Okay, just breathe a minute here. This isn't the end of the world. This is nothing she's ever planned or wanted but… fuck, this is a nightmare!

"Honey! I'm home!"

"Damn it," Lizzy quietly panics in a new way when she stands up sharply from the couch and plasters on a fake smile. "Hey," she greets back with a strange voice, knowing she sounds off. Okay, she needs to get it together.

When he walks into the living room, Dean gives her one look and can tell something's not quite right with her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lizzy shakes her head and tries to play it off. She's not ready to tell him. More time. Maybe tomorrow after she processes the shock. Yeah, tomorrow first thing. Definitely by lunch time.

Dean just cocks an eyebrow and stares at her a little longer. "Awkward. You sure you're okay?"

"Totally. What are you doing home so early?" Lizzy changes the subject. Usually he's home a couple hours later than this so she uses that.

"Finished up ahead of schedule. Told everyone I was going home and had Ash promise to lock up. It's good to be the boss," he smirks at her with a wink and drops his jacket on the back of his favorite leather upholstered chair.

"Guess so," she keeps her forced smile in place. "I, uh… I called Mari and had her cover for me tonight." _Because I got scared that I couldn't get through a shift if I found out I was knocked up…._

"Nice!" Dean lights up as he heads for the hallway. "We should go out for dinner."

"Sure," Lizzy nods despite the fact that the simple idea of food is making her stomach churn with nerves.

"Let me just wash up and we can go." He smiles wide with excitement and walks for the bathroom.

The minute he's gone she lets out a hard breath. How the hell is she going to keep up this everything's-fine attitude all night? Damn it. She just needed time to sort this out, maybe try and accept what's happening….

"Shit!" Lizzy freaks out when she realizes she left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Dean's in the bathroom.

Sprinting down the hall, she comes to a skid-stop in the doorway to find Dean standing in front of the sink, the plastic stick with a bright blue plus sign on it in his hands as he inspects it. His brow is wrinkled and lowered as he tries to figure out exactly what he's looking at.

Okay, huge problem. She panics for real now. What does she do?

"I'm late," Lizzy blurts out when she doesn't really know how else to approach this. Just get it over with is her only option now. "A week late. I thought at first it was the stress of the bar getting expanded but then I thought about it rationally… and I got freaked. I missed a couple pills so I got a test. I didn't think you'd be home yet…"

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Dean asks, holding out the pregnancy test to her as he peers at her eyes for answers.

Lizzy tries to confirm it verbally but her voice fails. She just nods in the affirmative.

Dean then looks back down at the pregnancy test with a blank face.

"I know we never talked about this. I mean, we don't really ever talk about the future past tomorrow, like, ever. I don't know if you ever even wanted to be a dad. And, and… shit. We don't have the money for this socked away and it's a total life changer…."

She stops when Dean looks back to her again, this time the brightest grin she's ever seen him have on his face. Her heart skips when she sees this unexpected reaction from him.

"We're gonna have a baby?" Dean asks, his voice full of hope.

"Uh… looks like it," Lizzy answers with nothing but fear in her tone.

He lets out one disbelieving laugh, eyes glazing over a little with the news.

"Wait, you're okay with this?" Lizzy wonders, seeing his reaction.

"Are you kidding?" he asks, his voice cracking. He rushes for her, arms open as he embraces her. His arms tightly hold her as she can hear him let out a laugh that suspiciously sounds like a sob. "This is awesome."

And for the first time Lizzy relaxes just a little. He's happy. Truly happy. She never let herself think of this response as an option.

"You're… really, honestly good with this?" Lizzy hesitantly questions.

Dean lets her go and wipes his eyes with one hand, the positive test still in his other. "Lizzy… we're a family now. You're… you're gonna give me a kid. Yeah. I'd call it happy." He then grins so wide it hurts his cheeks and he watches Lizzy loosen up with it.

"I gotta be honest here… I'm fucking scared."

"Why?" Dean needs to know, not understanding.

"We don't have the money for this…."

"Money can be figured out," Dean brushed her worry off.

"We… shit, we're not married."

"Who cares?"

"And… I'm a fuck up," Lizzy finally airs her true concern.

"No you're not," Dean denies her though immediately.

"Yes I am," Lizzy corrects him with annoyance. "I drink too much. I stay out late like I'm still in college. I don't act anything like an adult…."

"Lizzy," Dean interrupts her and she stops talking to stare at him. "Do you want this?" he asks with icy fear, clearly concerned about her thoughts on the new turn of events.

"I… I don't know," she confesses, her hands on her hips. "I never even thought about having kids before."

"But now that we are… what do you think?" Dean needs to know, still scared she'll tell him she doesn't want a family. Damn it, why didn't they talk about this in all the years they've been together? They've always just kind of lived day to day.

She just takes a second to think and look at the man she's still wildly in love with. Every day they spend together, from eating meals to watching television to going to bed… whether it be for fun or just honest sleep… is better than the last. They're so good together, have so much love for one another, that sharing that with another person, one they created together, suddenly doesn't seem all that bad. It kind of seems good… beautiful even. And the excitement Dean's showing is pretty infectious.

"I'm terrified," she starts with. "And I wasn't ready at all. But… we did this." Without knowing it, her hand comes to her lower abdomen. "And I guess it's happening, ready or not."

Dean nods at her and lets her go on.

"I want this," she shockingly tells him. "I can't believe I'm saying this but… I want to have a family. With you. Holy shit." She then hysterically starts laughing once everything actually, finally hits her. "Oh my god! I'm fucking pregnant! Ha!"

Dean starts up too, the sound contagious. After a moment he walks back into her space and hugs her again. He then presses his lips to hers, kissing the woman he's nuts about and is about to make him a father.

"Shit, I gotta call Sam," Dean backs away when he thinks about his brother.

"I haven't told Lou yet."

"Really!?" Dean is surprised.

"Of course. I needed to tell you first." When Dean just looks at her with a bullshit-calling face, she fesses up. "She didn't answer her phone."

"Ah, makes sense," Dean smiles.

"Can't we wait for tonight?" Lizzy requests. "Tell them tomorrow? We can swing by their place and do it in person. I think I need tonight to wrap my head around this."

"Good idea," Dean agrees as he unexpectedly reaches out to grab the bottom hem of her t-shirt and lifts it over her head. He then grabs her hips and pulls her closer. "We should really celebrate anyways."

The way he smiles at her, all boyish charm and sweetness, she smiles right back. "You better be talking about sex because I can't drink anymore."

"Jesus, are you gonna survive?" Dean laughs at her.

"Just help me past the withdrawals and I'll be fine," she jokes in return.

Grinning like an idiot, Dean looks down at her flat stomach and runs a hand across her smooth skin, his fingers right above the life growing inside her. The life that's half his. How amazing. Eyes on hers, he tells her, "God, I love you."

"You're such a girl," Lizzy says to him before pulling him down into a heated, long kiss.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"And that's everything," Lou tells him, her voice downtrodden as she places the last pamphlet into the pile of informative papers on the coffee table. She looks at her husband sitting next to her after going through everything she was told at her appointment earlier that afternoon and sighs. "It's a lot."

"A lot more than I was ready for," Sam admits, running his hands through his hair.

"Me too," Lou quietly responds. She then sighs again.

"But if this is what it takes… then we do it, right?" Sam comments, ready to dive in head first to get what they want so badly in life.

Lou nods slowly before biting her lower lip. Hesitantly, she airs her concern. "But are we sure we should be doing all this?"

"What are you talking about?" Sam quickly asks, upset by the question.

"Maybe… maybe this is god or whatever telling us that kids just aren't in the cards for us," Lou explains her fears. "I mean, two years is a long time to try and never once be successful. And all this?" She points to the pile. "How many procedures do I have to go through before we're told it's worthless to keep trying? After we go through all this we still may not be able to have kids."

Sam steels his face to not give away his own worries to her. He then leans into her and pulls an arm around her shoulders. "Lou… do you want a family?"

"I don't know now," her voice wavers, eyes watering. "I don't know about all this. It's so fucking much…"

"It's scary. I know that. But I'm gonna ask again and I need to you to be honest," Sam sternly says to her. "Do you want a family?"

She thinks quickly, taking a deep breath with the pain in her chest over all their failures and now the unexpected expense/medical invasiveness throw at them. She peers up at him as her eyes water over. "More than anything."

Not able to handle this kind of pain from his wife, Sam pulls her into his lap. Getting her seated across his legs, he holds her tight in his arms as she starts to cry.

"This sucks," Sam tells her as she turns her face into his neck and lets go. "And it isn't fair. But if you still want this, because I know I do for sure… then this will be worth it. It'll be difficult and it'll be expensive and it'll probably hurt but… if you want this and you're willing to do anything for it then we have to try. We'll figure it all out. We'll figure out the money and the time it'll take. Everything will be fine, Lou."

"What if we can't?" Lou airs her biggest, most concerning fright.

"Then we adopt," Sam shrugs. "There are kids that need good, loving homes. We can provide that."

Lou stays quiet with that.

"Is that an option you'd consider?" Sam wonders, looking down at her wet, tear-streaked face.

"I hadn't let myself think about it before now, truthfully." She sniffles and makes eye contact. "But I would be happy with that. If we can't have kids."

"See," Sam smiles at her, it being forced but he hopes she can't tell. "No matter what, we will figure this out. I won't let this ruin your dreams, Lou. Someday, before you know it, there will be someone calling you mom. I promise."

She collapses into sobs at the very idea. When they first started trying to conceive she never imagined this happening. She assumed by now they'd have a one year old running around their house. Instead she's the one sitting in Sam's lap crying, not their child. This is just so painfully unfair.

"Why us?" Lou has to ask. "Why did we get this thrown at us? We're good people. We would give a child a good, happy home. Why us? It doesn't make sense."

"You're right, it doesn't," Sam concurs. "We're gonna be amazing parents and it seems weird that we're the ones that can't have that easily. But hell, my mom always said that God only gives the tough stuff to those strong enough to handle it. We can handle this. We just have to be strong and not give up."

Lou nods, sniffling again. "Can I just be weak about it for tonight then?"

He can feel his heart tearing in two for her. "Definitely."

Lou then collapses into the sobs she's been holding back all day. This is the worst. Lou is absolutely devastated and Sam can't do anything to make it better. They're both helpless. And they both just want what's normal to want… what people that don't deserve it manage to get every damn day.

Lou was right. Why them?

Pulling the front door open, Sam's surprised to see his brother standing there with his girlfriend.

"Hey, guys," he greets and steps aside to let them in.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean grins wide and walks in, clapping Sam on the shoulder as he walks by him.

"Hi, Sam," Lizzy also greets while following Dean in.

"What are you two doing here?" Sam asks cordially, surprised by their dropping by. "We didn't plan this or anything, right?" He's hoping he didn't just simply forget they were coming over today. He has enough on his mind recently that forgetting wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility.

"We went out for breakfast and thought we'd stop by," Dean simply answer. "We wanted to talk to you and Lou for a minute."

"Is everything okay?" Sam gets concerned by this, knowing they aren't exactly sit down and talk kind of people.

"Fine," Lizzy assures. "Just… wanted to talk. Is Lou here?"

"She's upstairs. Let me grab her," Sam says simply and gestures to the living room. "Take a load off."

Sam sprints up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and heads for the bedroom. Lou's still out of sorts after yesterday and he let her sleep in. He now has to get her up as much as he doesn't want to.

"Hey," Sam says quietly as he walks into their room, sitting on the edge of the bed facing her. "Lou. Hon, wake up."

"Mm?" she hums as she slowly opens her eyes. She sees Sam sitting there and she smiles a little. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Dean and Lizzy are here," Sam tells her. "They wanted to talk to us about something."

"Weird," Lou scrunches her face up, having the same reaction as Sam did. "Is everything okay?"

"They said it was." He nods to assure her while rubbing a gentle hand up and down her arm.

Lou sits up. "Shit. You think they're finally gonna get hitched?"

Sam laughs, knowing they've been speculating for years on that. "Maybe. Let's go find out."

"Gimme, like, two minutes?"

Sam smiles. "Sure. You feeling better today?"

"Yeah," she says hopefully. "A little bit. I think we can do this."

He then grins wide. "Yeah we can. Alright, get up."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Morning," Lou greets, smiling to her guests as she settles into the couch next to Sam. She really is feeling better, she didn't lie about that. A good night's sleep after a good amount of crying to let it out of her system and she's better. Hopeful even.

"Whoa," Lizzy laughs a little. "You look… tired."

"I am tired," Lou lies completely. She knows her sister will do nothing but worry about her if she tells the truth. She's not ready to spill it all to her just yet. Maybe once they have a plan in place….

"You feeling alright?" Lizzy pushes on, very concerned.

"Just tired, Lizzy. I promise," Lou forces a smile. "So, what's up?"

Dean's face breaks out in a massive smile as he looks at Lizzy.

She just grins back. "You wanna tell them?"

"This is more your news than mine," Dean reminds her, thinking she has more of a right to the news than he does.

"Okay," Lizzy nods, biting her lip as she looks across the room from the loveseat at her sister and brother-in-law. "Well, kinda unexpected… and totally not planned…."

"Just tell me you're getting married finally," Lou jokes a little, thinking she's completely right.

"No," Lizzy stops her, smile still in place. "But… uh… well, you're gonna be an aunt." She lets out a big breath she's been holding.

The air in the room gets sucked out as Lou and Sam both just stare at her with seemingly no response.

"Um… okay…." Lizzy worries about their lack of reaction.

"Guys. We're having a baby!" Dean grins wider than even before. Again, the pair look blank. "Anything?"

Worried as all hell as his heart plummets into his stomach, Sam looks sharply to his side at Lou with fear. After yesterday this couldn't have come at a worse time for her. His heart is racing with concern.

"Lou?" Sam checks on her and grabs her hand from her lap. She immediately takes it back and glances at him for a quick second. He sees the tears already forming.

"Lou… you alright?" Lizzy questions when her sister doesn't bust out in excitement for her like she assumed she would.

Lou looks at her sister and in a small, sad voice she says, "That's, uh… ha. That's great."

Her face and voice don't at all match her words. She's falling apart.

Lizzy and Dean are at a loss. Neither are reacting like they'd hoped. "I know this is kinda unexpected…" Dean starts. "And honestly, it was completely unexpected for us too…"

"Oh god," Lou sobs out as she stands up. "I'm sorry. I gotta…." She looks around a bit and decides she can't be in the same room as her sister right now. "Lizzy… I'm happy for you. I swear. I, uh… I'm sorry."

Lou walks out of the room crying.

Lizzy stands up immediately and starts to follow her sister, knowing she has to help her, but Sam stops her.

"Lizzy, don't," he says to her. "Sit down. I think I need to talk to you guys, too."

"What the fuck is going on?" Lizzy asks, sitting back down next to Dean and placing her hand on his knee, gripping it with worry.

"We had a rough day yesterday," Sam explains. "And your news… it's great news. Please know that. Honest truth, we're really happy for both of you. I just need you to understand that… it's just bad timing. _Really_ bad timing."

"Sam?" Dean simply asks, looking for more.

"Lou and I… we've been trying to get pregnant for two years now," Sam gets it over with. "And we can't seem to make it happen."

"What!?" Lizzy gets more than concerned. "She never told me you guys were trying to have a kid."

"She wanted it to be a surprise," Sam explains. "She hasn't told _anyone_. Neither have I. We wanted the news to be out of the blue when it happened. But… it just never worked out that way."

The guilt starts to creep in right then, Lizzy's heart aching for her sister and Sam. She presses a hand over her mouth as she listens, her grip on Dean's knee tightening even more.

"Yesterday she had an appointment with her usual doctor. They told her she needs to start seeing an infertility specialist to figure out what's going on. It's pretty invasive, some of the procedures… and it looks like it could take a long time. It was just a really difficult day for her… for me, too. We really thought we would have had a child by now…."

"Oh, god," Lizzy voice raises as the tears start to form. "And I just came over here and told you we're pregnant. And you and Lou have been dealing with this… and yesterday… fuck. And this was an accident…."

"Unplanned," Dean corrects, not seeing an accident at all.

"Whatever," Lizzy sighs. "Oh god, I can't believe we just did that."

"You didn't know," Sam shakes his head. "On any other day you know we would have been celebrating with you over this. And we really are happy for you guys. This is _really_ great news…."

"We understand, Sammy," Dean lets his brother know. "We're just sorry the timing is so terrible."

"It is pretty bad," Sam huffs out in disbelief.

"What do you have to do?" Lizzy wants to know, already fully into the issue they're dealing with.

"What _don't_ we have to do… or what doesn't _Lou_ have to do," Sam explains. "It's almost all on her. Every test or procedure is for her to go through except one. It's completely uneven."

Lizzy reads the guilt and pain all over Sam. He's not dealing all that well either but he's keeping it together for Lou.

"It's a whole list, really. I'm not gonna go through it all now," Sam tells them in a tired voice. "The point is that Lou's not doing well with this. Going through all the information the doctor gave her last night made us realize how big this all is. The time, the money, the pain… but we want this. We want a family and we're gonna make it work. We're determined."

"We can help," Dean offers immediately. "You need money, we can help you guys out." Lizzy nods enthusiastically to agree.

"Dean," Sam smiles warmly for the first time all day. " _You_ need your money. You have a child of your own to raise. Don't worry about that. We can figure it out."

Dean looks hurt by the refusal but he knows Sam's right.

"I talked to her last night about telling you everything she's going through because I know she could use the support." He's looking right at Lizzy for this. "She didn't want to say anything before but now, I know talking about everything instead of hiding it would be beneficial."

"But I've got to be the last person she wants to talk to right now," Lizzy says quietly, wiping her eyes. She's so sad for them and she feels helpless and so guilty.

"Maybe… but you're still her sister. You being pregnant is going to be incredibly difficult for her to deal with but that has nothing to do with you being her best friend," Sam explains. "I like to think Lou's stronger than letting this stop her from being able to turn to you when she needs you."

"Fuck," Lizzy laments, tears still falling. "I don't want this for her. Or for you. You guys don't deserve this shit."

"You're right… but that's life."

"If there's anything we can do, you'll let us know, right?" Dean offers to his little brother. "Anything at all. You name it, we're there."

Sam nods. "Thanks." He then looks at Lizzy. "I think you should try and talk to her."

"No way," Lizzy denies the idea. "I have the one thing she wants and I don't deserve it half as much as she does. How the hell do I even be in the same room as her right now?"

"You're still her sister," he repeats.

Lizzy looks fearful about the very idea of speaking to Lou right now.

"Please. Just try and talk to her," Sam tries again. "I think it'd be good to have her best friend with her right now."

Nervous, Lizzy's resigned. She just nods and stands up. "Okay. I'll try."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

A few deep breaths and Lizzy raises her fists. She stares at Lou's bedroom door and pauses. Her sister is her life, her best friend… and she's never once until now been terrified to speak to her.

No. Lou needs her. Sam's right. Her sister needs her and it'd be selfish to run away because she's scared. She quit running away from scary things a long time ago.

Knocking lightly, Lizzy waits. She doesn't get an answer but she knows she just heard a quiet sniffle.

"Lou-Lou?" Lizzy calls out, using a nickname from childhood. "I want to talk to you."

"I'm fine, Lizzy," Lou says in a voice that is anything but fine. "Just… go celebrate or something. I'll be fine."

"You're a liar," Lizzy calls her out right away. "And I think we should talk."

"I don't want to."

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't."

"Lizzy… just go away…."

"I'm coming in," Lizzy finally says and opens the door. When she steps inside the room she finds Lou sitting on the end of her bed with a hunched back, tissues in hand as she cries. Lizzy's heart breaks. "Oh, Lou."

"Lizzy, seriously…" Lou starts to tell her to leave but instead Lizzy sits on the carpet at her feet and looks right at her.

"I'm not going anywhere," Lizzy tells her, looking up at her big sister. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to ruin your big news." Lou sniffles and wipes her face.

"Fuck my news. We can deal with it another day. Please talk to me about what's going on with you." Lizzy reaches up and places both hands on her sister's knees. "You always talk to me so let's go."

Lou sobs hard once before finally meeting Lizzy's eyes. "Why now?"

"What do you mean?" Lizzy asks, unsure of what she's asking about exactly.

"Why did you have to get pregnant now?" Lou questions, her chest hurting. "I mean, it's good news. And I hope you're happy since I know there's no fucking way you were trying for this."

Lizzy smiles. "You know me too well."

Lou rolls her eyes, as if to say no shit.

"It _was_ an accident," Lizzy admits with a nod. "Or as Dean says, unplanned. He hates the word accident."

"It's kinda ugly." Lou wipes her eyes again.

"Yeah, it is. But I don't know… I missed a pill or two this month and… I fucked up." Lizzy shrugs her shoulders. "Are you surprised by that?"

"You fucking up is pretty par for the course," Lou half-laughs within a cry.

"So, I fucked up and now… I'm having a baby before I'm ready. We're excited about it. And that's all I'm saying on it for today," Lizzy fairly warns. "Lou, why didn't you tell me what's going on?" She can see very easily that this has been hurting Lou for so long now and she just kept holding it in instead of letting it out.

"I wanted the big news moment," Lou admits so sadly. "I wanted to surprise you and Dean. I wanted to pee on a stick and be shocked and so excited… and that's gone now." Her breath hitches with the admission.

Lizzy just grips hard on her knees. "It's not all it's cracked up to be. And if you can get there… what does it matter how it happens? That's small stuff."

"Yeah…" Lou only partially agrees. "I guess that's true."

"It is. Now… what's going on with you?" Lizzy asks her, ready to know everything.

"Well… right now it's my hormones. They're all fucked up," Lou tells her. "I can't release eggs so I can't get pregnant."

"How do they fix that?"

"Meds. Or hormone treatments if meds don't work. But they have to check everything, and I mean _everything_ , before they let me do that to make sure that if I do take hormones it'll take. And… my doctor thinks I might have an issue with the lining of my uterus too. I don't know much else besides that." Lou sighs and stares at her sister. "I'm just really sad."

"I can understand that," Lizzy tells her and grabs her hands, placing their linked fingers on Lou's knees again.

"And I'm scared," she falls back into sobs.

"Of what?" Lizzy wonders.

"What if we can't?" she cries with deep rooted fear. "What if we can't have children ever?"

Lizzy's face falls as she listens, dying for his sister.

"What if we do all this and spend all our money… and still aren't pregnant?" Lou wonders aloud, finally spilling everything to her best friend. "What if we do everything we're supposed to and we end up broke and no closer to being a family."

"First of all, you _are_ a family," Lizzy corrects. "You and Sam, me and Dean… we're a family already so don't think for a second that you don't have that."

Lou rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Lizzy nods. "But I also know that this will be figured out. You will be a mom. I promise that."

"How do you know?"

"You think I'm gonna let my big sister be miserable in life? Fuck that!" Lizzy tells her, making Lou actually crack half a smile at that. "I'm with you on this one-hundred percent. You need me to drive you to appointments? Done. Need a little help with the crazy bills? Just let Dean and I know, no shame in that. And if you need help adopting? Not a problem. Hell, if you just need to yell at someone and be pissed off, I'm all for it."

Lou smiles and cries harder at the same time. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to yourself. You're the one that suffered for it, you moron."

"Fuck you," Lou sniffles. "Thank you."

"I love you, Lou-Lou," Lizzy reminds her and leans up to hug her sister tight. "I'm always here for you, especially now."

"I love you too," Lou sobs out.

"And I mean it," Lizzy reinforces. "You need anything, and I mean _anything_ … just tell me."


	7. Chapter 7

**THREE YEARS LATER**

"Seven… eight… nine… ten," the nurse counts down for her. "Okay, Lizzy. Relax. Almost there."

"Fuck," Lizzy exhales and breathes hard. "God damn, I forgot how much this sucked."

"Yeah, but you're killing it," Dean tells her from the side of the hospital bed, arm hooked under knee. He smiles at her with total love. "You got this."

"Whatever," Lizzy says, looking at the big clock on the wall. "Two hours? Seriously? That's it! These fuckers are coming out in the next ten minutes." She's had it. Pushing for two hours? Nope.

"I'm thinking a few more pushes and you should have the first one out," the nurse informs her. "The head is right there."

"Yeah, I know!" she frustratingly tells the nurse, feeling it all.

"How we doing in here?" a new voice asks and her doctor walks in. "I'm told we're near the end."

"Better be!" Lizzy jokes as she can feel another contraction coming. "Alright, I'm making this one count."

"One… two…" Lou starts to count as she holds Lizzy's other leg for her. "Three… four…."

As she counts, Lou smiles wider than wide with excitement.

"Nine… ten." She lowers Lizzy's leg and bravely takes a look. She starts to tear up when she can see the head ready to come out. "Oh… my god."

"Mom?" the doctor asks as he settles into place with all his instruments at the ready. Lou looks right at him. "Shirt off. You know the drill. You're up the moment this little one is out."

Shaking with excitement, Lou pulls her shirt overhead. Sam's there behind her with a hospital gown, holding it out for her to thread her arms through.

"Lizzy, you give me one more good push and we will be in good shape," the doctor informs her with a smile. "You ready?"

"Fuck yeah. Get these kids outta me," Lizzy tells him, so done with it all. When her next contraction starts she takes a deep breath. The nurse takes up her leg in place of Lou and starts the countdown for her.

"Okay… almost there… a little more, Lizzy," the doctor says and by count seven he has a screaming, squirming, tiny person in his hold.

"Oh… my god," Lou sobs out the second she sees the little boy. She watches them minimally clean him off and clamp the cord.

"Dad?" the doctor looks to Sam with a pair of scissors in hand.

Sam, eyes watering and heart racing, takes the scissors. He cuts the cord as his little boy screams out loudly, the world very new and scary to him.

"Okay. Here you go mom," the doctor holds the baby out to Lou and she takes him up, pulling him into her chest skin-to-skin.

Lou holds the boy close as the tears flow, looking at his wailing face with wonder and total awe. Sam's over her shoulder and she can hear him crying in disbelief and pure happiness.

"Oh, I love you so much," Lou says to the baby as she sobs, unable to believe that she's actually, finally here. In this moment she's finally getting what she's always wanted deep down. She's a mother.

And Sam's big hand comes around her to cup the little boy's cheek, just as awe-struck as Lou. Life is completely changed in that one second. Everything is different. Everything is exactly how it should be.

Well, almost….

"You ready to go again, Lizzy?" the doctor asks after a good five minute break. "That little girl in there is ready to come out."

"Screw her," Lizzy jokes, exhausted. Her legs are shaking, she's a sweating mess, and she'd prefer to call it a day. But then she looks over to her side to see Lou and Sam wrapped up in their son and knows she can do this. "Oh, what the hell, huh? Let's do it."

The nurse laughs and Dean kisses her cheek, once more taking a hold of her leg. "Almost there, baby."

"Sam? You want to help on this one?" the nurse asks of him and gestures to Lizzy's leg.

He nods and steps up, mirroring what his brother is doing. He makes watery eye contact with Lizzy, his expression alone thanking her with deep happiness, and Lizzy just rolls her eyes at him and calls him a sap.

"This one should go faster," the doctor tells her. "And you've got a contraction coming."

Dean counts it out for her, then Sam counts the next push. They alternate as Lou stands by, rocking her newly born son and waiting as patiently as she can.

In just ten minutes she's crowning once more.

"Five… six… seven…." That's as far as Dean gets.

Once more, the room is filled with the sounds of crying as the little girl comes into the world.

"Thank fucking god!" Lizzy exhales hard and leans back in bed, completely spent. Several deep breaths taken, and she finally lets herself fully relax after a day of labor and over two hours of pushing. She remains there, legs in stirrups. Exhaustion claims her.

Dean pulls up a chair next to her, grabbing her hand and squeezing. When she looks over at him he's grinning like an idiot.

"You look dumb like that," Lizzy smiles wide at him as her lids get heavy, making it clear she's joking.

"You know, I want to have a comeback for that but right now I don't think I can make fun of you at all," Dean tells her, still grinning as he watches Sam once more cut an umbilical cord.

"You can't… so I can call you anything and get away with it. Ass face." Lizzy's eyes close for a second and she exhales hard.

"That's the one you come up with?" Dean questions her lameness, eyes still glued to his brother. The nurse hastily wraps the second screaming child up in a receiving blanket and hands her over to her father. The baby girl looks incredibly small in Sam's long arms but the smile, the tears in his little brother's eyes are what Dean sees. His brother, after a three year battle that nearly drained their finances completely along with their emotional strength, is finally, truly happy.

"I'm fucking tired. Screw you," Lizzy lazily responds, eyes cracked to look at him. She can see the syrupy sweet love in his expression and she reaches over to push his shoulder. "Sap."

Dean laughs a little and blinks away his own happiness. He stares at her for a second, her face worn and her hair a total mess. "Thank you." He had to say it. As he watched Sam pull the little girl into his bare chest, never once having looked this blissful and _right_ in his entire life, Dean knows he'll never love this woman more than right now. He couldn't. She just gave the world to his little brother. There's nothing bigger than that.

"I didn't do shit for you," Lizzy smirks, laughing a little with what little energy she has left as the doctor mends her back up.

"I love you," Dean remains serious, needing her to know how he feels in this moment. "More that I can ever tell you."

"Yeah, yeah," Lizzy exhales hard again and closes her eyes once more. "Let's see how much you love me when I can't help around the house or with Mila for at least a month. I'm fucking wrecked, I can feel it."

"We'll get through," Dean tells her breezily, brushing her hair out of her face.

"And when I can't have sex forever? You gotta tell me, how much damage did our niece and nephew do to me?" Lizzy wonders without lifting her lids, scared to know but needing to know.

"Oh, I don't know," Dean answers her honestly, still admiring her, his hand to her cheek.

"What? Why not?"

"I'm not looking at that," he tells her. "I did that last time and totally regretted it. I gotta go down there again at some point."

"Dick," she name calls and he just laughs at her a little. "When this epidural wears off I'm gonna be so hurting, aren't I?"

"Probably… but again, we'll get through it," he repeats, getting up and leaning over the bed to kiss her cheek. He then points to the other side of the room. "Just look."

When Lizzy turns her head she sees it. Lou's all out bawling her eyes out with love and excitement. She's fussing over her son, his tiny hand already wrapped around one of her fingers. She looks up at Sam and tells him she loves him so much. Sam then sniffles once and leans down to her height, kissing her lips once before ducking lower to kiss his son's face as she holds him.

"You did that," Dean quietly reminds her, kissing her hair. "And I can never… just, thank you."

Lizzy nods and smiles before she drops her head back, patiently waiting for the time when she's done getting stitched and can put her legs back down. She's content, even to be injured and drained. "Worth it."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

It's quiet in the hospital room. Lizzy's asleep, resting after a long labor. Dean left to go pick up their daughter, Mila, from his step-brother Adam's house. Soon enough they'll be back so that she can see her mom and meet her cousins.

But for now Lou and Sam take advantage of the quiet. She's holding their daughter, Alice, while Sam sits with Evan. Both babies are asleep in their parent's arms, very obviously comfortable right where they are.

Sam looks up from his sleeping son's face to see Lou already staring over at him. For the millionth time that day her eyes are filled to the brim with tears.

He just smiles at her. "I know."

"I love them so much," she whispers in a cry, her heart exploding while her tears fall over the edge and down her cheeks.

"Me too," Sam grins wide, meaning it more than he's meant anything before now.

"I didn't know I could love something so much," Lou says, looking at Evan. "They're so perfect. I can't believe we're finally here."

Sam silently agrees, the surreal moment hitting him hard, and then he glances over at Lizzy passed out before looking back to his wife. "We owe her so much."

"We owe her the world!" Lou agrees instantly. "The second we have the money, we're sending them to Disney or something."

Sam laughs at her. "After everything we've spent getting here on top of needing _two_ college funds and two of, well, _everything_ … we're never gonna be able to afford that."

"Ugh, we're gonna be broke forever," Lou shakes her head, still smiling.

"We'll figure it," Sam says simply. "We have up to this point already, haven't we?"

"Yeah. And, you know… totally worth it," Lou says with a brilliant grin.

"And no, we can't ever really pay her back for this… but we can start by waiting on her hand and foot for at least the next few days," Sam reminds her of their plan to have Lizzy and family move in while she heals for a few days so that she can breastfeed their twins and get them started in the most healthy way possible. "That should at least help a little, right?"

"A drop in the bucket," Lou denies him. "You're right. We can never pay her back for this…."

"You don't have to, dummies," Lizzy says without opening her eyes, tired as hell but awake enough to hear them. "I wanted to do this."

Sam and Lou both go silent with her words. They know how untrue that is.

"I might be regretting wanting to do this for you now that my vagina's been torn to shreds again… but hey, still worth it." She opens her eyes and turns her head while still lying back. She smiles at them both when she sees them, each with a child that's blissfully resting. "You guys look good like that."

Lou wipes her eyes with one hand and looks at her sister, her saving grace. "We do owe you everything, no matter what you say."

"Okay, fine. You owe me everything," Lizzy smirks, joking. "Just not Disney. Please don't send me to Disney. That place is a nightmare."

"What if Mila wants to go?" Sam asks.

"Then Dean and I will remind her that Disney is lame and that Mexico is way more fun."

Sam laughs. "Good luck with that once all the kids at school have gone to Disney and Mila hasn't."

"I can't hear you over all my stitches," Lizzy denies, knowing how right Sam is.

"You feeling better after sleeping?" Lou wonders. "Do you need anything?"

"Nah," Lizzy tells them, sitting up a bit in bed. "I've been here before. I know the drill. I'll survive."

"No, seriously… are you thirsty? Or hungry?" Lou keeps going, wanting nothing more than to help out where she can. This has been a helpless, difficult nine months for her to stand by and watch her sister puke several times and put so much stress on her body for her. There's a lot of guilt there.

"I can go grab some food from the cafeteria," Sam jumps in, just as eagerly.

"Or do you need to go to the bathroom?" Lou continues to try. "I can help you…"

"Dudes! Relax! Please," Lizzy huffs a laugh. "I'm fucking fine. If I need anything I'll ask."

"You swear?" Lou checks.

"I swear…."

Right then Alice wakes up and starts to fuss… which quickly turns into crying.

"Alright, hand her over," Lizzy immediately says, reaching her arms out to Lou. Her sister stands up and reluctantly hands her daughter over. The jealousy hits hard as Lizzy opens her hospital gown to feed her. And Lizzy can see it all over her. "Hey, this is just until I can get outta here and get my milk going. Then I'm pump only. I'm totally not getting up in the middle of the night to feed _two_ kids. Already did it with one and it sucked. That's all on you guys and the thousands of bottles you'll have to constantly clean."

"Whatever it takes," Lou smiles, watching her little girl latch on surprisingly easily. She runs her hands through her thin, dark hair and smiles while leaning into Lizzy's side. "She's pretty good looking, huh?"

"She's beautiful, I'll admit that," Lizzy nods, knowing it's true. They're healthy. They're beautiful. They're perfect. She looks up at her older sister. "You and Sam make cute kids."

"Yeah… we do," Lou grins with pride.

"Not as cute as Mila… but you know, close," Lizzy jests, smirking. Lou just pushes her in the arm for the untrue insult.

Evan then decides he's also hungry. He starts to cry.

"I don't know how you two are gonna deal with twins," Lizzy laughs at them, knowing how screwed they are. "One was more than enough for me."

"Uh… so, I think Evan's hungry…" Sam hesitantly says as he gets up and walks to Lizzy's bed.

"You don't say," Lizzy smiles as she shifts her gown around. "Alright, hand him over."

"But you're feeding Alice," Sam reminds her.

"I am!?" Lizzy jokes before laughing. "Two babies, two boobs. The math checks out."

Sam very carefully, still new to fragile little infants, places his son into Lizzy's free arm. After some struggling and adjusting, soon enough Lizzy has a child per breast.

Looking down at herself she start to laugh too hard. "Ow!" she giggles through pain. "Stitches."

"What's so funny?" Lou wonders, smiling.

"I was terrified of babies three years ago when I had one," she explains. "And now I'm sitting her with a baby on each boob. Who the hell would have thought, huh?"

Lou and Sam both get a good laugh out of that. Lou agrees. "Not me!"

"Yeah, me neither!" Lizzy keeps joking. "You two are lucky I like you both so much!"

Sam just takes a second to look at Lizzy with brand new eyes. "Yeah. We are."


	8. Chapter 8

**FIFTEEN YEARS LATER**

"Oh, I am so not ready for this," Dean whispers to himself as he watches his daughter walk down the stairs of their small house, her gown flowing behind her.

Lizzy just smiles at him and rubs his arm. She whispers to him, "Suck it up, daddy-o. She looks beautiful and you need to tell her that."

"I don't like it," Dean grits his teeth, watching Mila's boyfriend grin at her and check her out in her form fitting dress with low back and side cut outs. When the hell did seventeen year olds start looking like that? And better yet, when did his little girl start looking like a woman. And an, unfortunately for him, beautiful woman at that. "And I don't like him."

Lizzy laughs at him. "They've been together almost year. And he's been nothing but nice. How can you still not like him?"

"Don't care. Something's off about him," he declares with certainty, watching closely as Mila pins a boutonniere on West's lapel.

"Or you just want to think so."

"He's an eighteen year old kid. I was one of those once. I know how they think so I don't like him."

"Get over it, Dean…."

"Alright, let's rock," Mila grins wide, excited about the prom. Their limo is out front, her cute and popular boyfriend is there in his tux with a bright blue tie that matches her beaded, ornate dress, and she's worked all day to prepare for this. She grabs West's hand and heads for the door.

"Ho, hold up!" Dean stops them immediately, not letting Mila leave so easily. He reaches out and grabs her upper arm before she can escape. "Not so fast, young lady."

"What?" Mila huffs with annoyance.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, okay?" Dean tells her sharply. "You're not leaving until your mother gets about a _thousand_ pictures and you know it."

"Just… can't we just take a couple and let us go?" Mile complains, knowing how bad it's about to get. Lizzy has always had a camera attached to her hand throughout her life. "I don't want to be late."

"You won't be late," Lizzy smiles at her. "Come on. Let's go."

Lizzy ushers them into the living room in front of the fireplace and tells them to pose. Without a word shared, both Mila and West do the usual prom pose and make dorky faces, ruining Lizzy's hope for a real picture.

"Okay, very funny," Lizzy complains. "You don't give me a picture I can brag about then neither of you are leaving."

"Fine!" Mila rolls her eyes again and poses with her boyfriend. They take a few pictures, Dean grimacing when West kisses her cheek for one.

"Are we good now?" Mila hopes, smiling wide once many shots have been taken.

"One more with your father," Lizzy tells her, pushing Dean in the back towards their daughter. "Then you're free."

Dean walks up to his girl, West backs off. Smiling wide once he has an arm around his daughter, they take the picture. Dean's learned long ago to not bother fighting with Lizzy when she wants a picture of him. Mila has yet to learn.

"Okay, one without crossing your eyes now, Mila," Lizzy complains, taking one more without the silliness. Their daughter has quite the personality these days.

"You didn't tell me!" Dean complains down to his daughter under his arm. Usually they conspire to ruin pictures on Lizzy. She didn't warn him this time.

"Sorry, dad," Mila laughs, leaning into her father and smiling for real this time.

He'd never say it aloud, but he misses this closeness with his daughter. When she was little they'd cuddle on the couch all the time, watching Disney movies and hanging out. It was his favorite weekend thing to do. No grab beers with Sam or work on his car. Princess movie with Mila always won out.

And now she's going to the prom. With her boyfriend. And looking at colleges. And planning to leave home in another year….

Dean hates it all.

The flash on Lizzy's camera goes off and she checks it over. She grins. "And now, kids, you can go."

"Nice!" Mila relaxes and leaves Dean's side. His face falls the second she's walking away.

Mila grabs her clutch from the stairs where she left it and when Lizzy sees her opportunity she dashes for her girl before she leaves. She hooks her arm in her daughters and smiles at her. She speaks very quietly for good reason. "I know you two aren't going to Jackie's house after the prom."

Mila's face goes white with fear. "What? W-We're not…"

"Save it. I was seventeen with a boyfriend before… a long time before, but still," she practically whispers. "Whatever you two plan to do after prom please… just be safe. And call me if anything goes wrong, okay? I won't judge, you won't be in trouble until we talk tomorrow. Deal?"

"Whatever, mom," Mila shrugs, unsure of what to think about all this.

"You've never given us a reason not to trust you. Be safe is all I ask, huh?" Lizzy asks of her daughter, eyes wide in warning as she slips her daughter a condom into her fist, making sure Dean doesn't see her do it. He'd flip his shit.

"Mom!" Mila eyes her with shock, grabbing the protection quick as her eyes fly to her dad. He's busy talking to West. Thank god.

"Baby, I love you," Lizzy kisses her daughter's cheek. "Promise you'll be safe."

"I promise," Mila says with red cheeks, stashing the condom in her clutch as quickly as she can.

As Dean glances at his wife and daughter talking, he worries. His girl is his world. They are very close. The term daddy's little girl was made for his daughter. Nothing will ever hurt her or upset her if he can help it.

Dean stares at West a moment before pulling an arm around his shoulders, the gesture not as warm as it was with Mila moments before. "West. Let's talk real quick."

The teen swallows hard with fear. "What about, Mister Winchester?" he shakily asks, the man always scary to him.

"I love my daughter. Very much. And she's a strong, very smart, very special young woman."

"I know that, sir," West nods, sweating.

"And I think you need to know that if you ever thought that you might, I don't know… try to take advantage of her or maybe push your limits with her… make her unhappy in any way…."

"I know. You'll chop my balls off," West nods, having had Dean tell him this a few times in the past.

"No… she will," Dean assures him, nodding at Mila. His daughter really is a tough young woman. And he's made sure to raise her right and teach her how to defend herself. "And then after that? I'll kill you."

West smile awkwardly at what he hopes is a joke.

"I'm dead serious, kid. Your parents will never find the body." Dean then grins at him with confidence. "Try me."

West's eyes bug out as Mila and Lizzy join them. Dean just smiles as if he hadn't just threatened an eighteen year old's life in his own home. He'd never let on to Mila what he just said.

"Well, have fun you two," Lizzy grins at them both, letting them leave now that picture time is over.

"Yeah, let's go," West nervously says, taking Mila's hand and heading for the door.

"Make good, pure decisions!" Dean shouts after them and the front door closes.

Standing together at the big front picture window, Lizzy and Dean both watch them get into the limo and head off.

"You put the fear of god into him, didn't you?" Lizzy calls him out right away.

"You bet your ass I did," Dean responds with worry.

"Baby, she'll be fine," Lizzy reminds him, kissing his cheek. "Now, I'm pouring some good whiskey and you're having some with me. We have the house to ourselves and I for one plan to get my silver fox naked by nightfall."

Dean lightens up right then, no longer focusing solely on his daughter. "Oh yeah?" he asks, arms coming to his wife's hips as he looks down at her.

"Oh, hell yeah," she winks and kisses him quickly.

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

"Baby, what's wrong?" Lizzy asks kindly as she pauses. She keeps her grip around his manhood as he hovers over her naked form but he remains soft in her hand even after a full half hour of warming up together.

"I don't know," Dean sighs and rolls off of her, lying next to her in their bed. He looks up at their bedroom ceiling and runs his hands through his hair with frustration. "Shit."

Turning onto her side, Lizzy scoots up into him and places a comforting hand on his chest. "This is the third time this month."

"Thank you for reminding me," Dean fires out angrily at her concerned statement. He then looks to his side and sees her hurt face. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she lets him know, understanding the frustration.

"God, I'm not _that_ old, am I?" Dean asks her, thinking that forty-nine isn't all that old.

"Maybe," Lizzy gently says, needing to have an honest conversation about the issue. "And maybe it's time to talk to your doctor about it."

"Ugh," Dean groans and rubs his eyes.

"Hey, it sucks, I know," Lizzy tells him and climbs on top of her husband. She grabs his face in both hands and makes him look at her. "But if you talk to a doctor this could be easily figured out."

"I'm not taking Viagra, Liz," Dean tells her with a grumpy attitude.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not an old gray fart!"

"Well, you are kinda gray these days," she smirks and ruffles his short hair that's half silver.

He gives her a warning look.

"It wouldn't be that bad," Lizzy tells him. "And so what if you have to take a blue pill every now and then? If it means we get to have sex, isn't that totally worth it?"

He doesn't respond as he considers her point.

"And it's not like you have to tell anyone outside of me about it," Lizzy reminds him. "And I don't care. I just want to fuck my husband."

Sighing heavily, hands on his wife's nude hips as she sits on him, still stunning to him after being together for twenty years, he gives in. "I'll call tomorrow."

She just grins wide and leans down to kiss him.

"Now get off me. I gotta piss," Dean picks her up off of him and playfully tosses her aside. He then gets up and walks down the hall without putting clothes on since they're kid-less for the night.

As he leaves for a moment, Lizzy sits up and thinks about it for a second, becoming more concerned as she does. She grabs her nightie from the floor and pulls it overhead as she sits and waits for him.

Dean walks back into the room and grabs his boxers.

"Have you noticed that you've been… peeing a lot lately?" Lizzy cautiously asks.

Pulling up his underwear, he looks at her. "What are you, tracking all my functions these days?"

"No," Lizzy rolls her eyes and cuddles back into him as he gets back into bed. "It just seems like you're peeing a lot."

"I'm fine," Dean brushes it off despite knowing she might be on to something. He has had to run to the bathroom a lot lately.

"Maybe you could mention it to your doctor since you're going…"

"I'm fine, Lizzy," Dean denies. "Relax…."

"…carcinoma of the prostate."

They both simultaneously feel the dagger being shoved through their hearts at the news being told to them from the other side of the wooden desk in the office. Lizzy's utterly terrified face sharply turns to Dean, he can feel her eyes on him, but he doesn't look back. She reaches out and grabs his hand where is lays on his knee but he still doesn't move.

Cancer. He has cancer.

"The biopsy we took confirms it and we would like to move on this a quickly as possible," the doctor tells him in a very business-like manner. "I have a suggested plan already devised. I'd like to go over it with you now if you think you are ready and able to hear it."

"Ah," Dean shakes his head a little as he tries to focus, his mind a blur since the word carcinoma left the doctor's mouth. He hears a sniffle and knows it came from his wife. He can't bear to look at her right now so he remains focused on the doctor. "So… you're saying I have cancer."

"Yes, Mister Winchester. That's what I am saying," he answers to the point, making it clear when he knows his patient and his wife must be reeling. "There's a tumor of worrisome size in your prostate. It's the cause of the frequent urination and the sometimes erectile dysfunction. Those are the most common symptoms."

Heart in his throat, Dean takes a moment to process it.

"How bad is it?" Lizzy cautiously asks, knowing she isn't ready to find out.

"Well, we did a few tests," the doctor lays out a few pages for them to look over. Lizzy does. Dean doesn't both. "We've been able to determine that you are in at least stage T2."

"Meaning?" Lizzy keeps going. She can already tell Dean's going quiet for this so it's up to her to listen, ask questions, and attempt to retain everything said.

"Meaning we know that the tumor had extended to both sides of the prostate at this point," the doctor explains. "I suspect it may have extended out from there a bit as many times it does once it's gotten to this point but we wouldn't know for sure unless we go in surgically to remove the prostate and further investigate."

"Surgery?" Dean speaks up with fear. "I need surgery?"

"Well, that depends on the course of action you choose, Mister Winchester," the doctor explains. "There are several ways to go about this. This first one is to watch it closely. I do not recommend this for you. The cancer has already grown throughout the prostate and most likely it will continue to grow and spread without action."

"Then we don't want to do that," Lizzy decides for them both immediately.

"What I would recommend is a prostatectomy," he tells them both. "It's a laparoscopic, minimally invasive surgery to remove the entire organ. We would also be able to investigate if the cancer has spread of surrounding tissues which would be immensely helpful in determining the next step from there."

"Which could be?" Lizzy pries on.

"Well, it all depends on the surgery. If it goes well, we get clean margins, we remove the entire tumor, and it hadn't spread then we do nothing. You're clear and we check once a year for recurrence."

"What if it did spread?" she questions.

"Then we determine what we can remove and get as much of it as we can. If it seems we need to, we may add external bean radiation therapy to ensure the cancerous cells are destroyed. If it did in fact spread widely and metastasize then I would likely recommend a round of chemotherapy. But those options all depend on how the surgery goes."

"Okay," Lizzy nods, swallowing hard around a dry throat. It's all so much to take. Looking at Dean she can tell he's only hearing parts and not processing anything. He's just staring at the doctor with a blank look. She needs to focus. "Um, I hope it's fine but we probably need to get a second opinion."

"By all means," the doctor nods. "I hope that you do."

"I have family in Boston," she mentions. "Maybe we can stay with them and talk to some doctors there."

"There isn't better city for medical care in the world," the doctor nods.

"Do you have… a prognosis? Any idea of what… what we have to expect?" Lizzy very cautiously asks what she really doesn't want to know.

"Not at this time. Without further investigation I don't feel comfortable giving one."

Lizzy nods, looking at Dean again. He's still not looking at her.

"I'm going to leave all this information with you." The doctor slides a thick manila folder across the desk to Lizzy. "I'm going to give you both a moment to process all of this. Please take your time. Leave only when you're ready. If you have questions please do come ask me."

"Thank you," Lizzy nods, eyes filling up.

"Please make sure you move on this. Don't wait too long for a second opinion." He then walks out of the room and shuts the office door behind him.

The deafening silence hits the second the door is shut. It's painfully quiet, the sound of nothing battering Dean's brain as he sits there, not processing anything at all. He's feeling numb, numb to the thought that he's sick and his body betrayed him. Numb to the battle he has before him.

Most of all, he's completely numb to the very thought that he could lose this war and leave his girls.

One single quiet sob breaks the silence. Looking to his side, Dean sees Lizzy sitting there with her back completely hunched over. Her face is in her hands as she crumbles with the news.

The numbness fades. It's all fear now, fear for his family and what this will do to them. And anger for what they all have to deal with and the unfairness of it all. His wife doesn't deserve this. She's been wonderful wince the day they got back together at Lou and Sam's wedding. And Mila… she doesn't deserve this pain and emotional anguish.

This isn't right. This isn't fair. He's pissed.

Determination sets in awfully quick once he lets the situation in. He's not losing this battle. Hell no. He hasn't had a chance to see Hawaii like they had always planned to the second Mila's college education was paid for. He hasn't yet fixed that back step that Lizzy's always saying is going to kill her one day like he promised to. He hasn't done that west coast college tour with Mila yet. He has his daughter's graduation to attend, high school and college. He has her wedding, walking her down the aisle. He has grandkids to meet and his fiftieth anniversary to celebrate. He's not even fifty yet. He has so much more to do and see and experience still and he's not willing to let go of that.

Fuck this. He's not letting this take him down. No fucking way.

The sobbing continues and it breaks his heart. Dean gets up off his chair and moves in front of her. He kneels at her feet and pulls her hands away from her face gently. Looking at her tearful, black-smudged eyes he'd hurting so badly but he knows he'll never let her down, not with this.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright," Dean tells her, sure of it. She shakes her head no. "Yes it is. I promise…."

"You can't promise me that," Lizzy stops him right away.

"Yes I can."

"No… you _really_ can't," Lizzy tells him, sniffling.

"Yeah, I can. You know why?" Dean keeps trying. She just looks at him, broken. "I have way too much time to annoy the shit outta you still left ahead of me."

Lizzy doesn't even crack a smile.

"I would never leave you Mila early, not without the fight of a lifetime," Dean goes serious, seeing as humor isn't going to work. "You two are my everything. I'll do everything I can to stop this from taking me away from you."

Lizzy's face wrinkles more. In a heightened, sad voice, she tells him, "I'm terrified."

And for the first time Dean can feel himself crumbling. Seeing her like this is worse than the news of his own body's betrayal.

With a hand to his cheek, Lizzy looks at the man she's been completely head over heels with for so long now. He's just as handsome as ever, with his wrinkles and gray hair. He still looks like her Dean, not like a sick man whose life is threatened. This makes no sense. And this can't be the end to their story, not now.

"What would I do without you?" Lizzy asks him, collapsing into her fears and sorrow. She breaks and begins truly sobbing, pressing her hands to her face once more.

Dean grabs her and pulls her into himself as he kneels on the floor of the medical office. Arms tightly around her, he feels the world bearing down on him.

"This isn't taking me down, Liz," he once more promises her. "It's not. I can make it through this. I know it."

The ride home was terribly quiet. Dean drove as Lizzy sat silently in the passenger side, watching the passing scenery out the Impala window and wiping her eyes every now and then. Everything feels wrong and heavy and too scary… but what does a person even try to say in that situation anyways? Nothing, clearly.

Once home, Lizzy follows Dean inside. He walks for the kitchen immediately and pulls open the refrigerator. He grabs a beer, pops the top, and downs a solid amount without thinking. It was autopilot.

"Ah," he lets out in a satisfied way as he swallows down the cheap beer without tasting it. He then looks across the island to see Lizzy taking a seat on a stool, looking at him with the saddest eyes he's ever seen. "I don't want to talk about it until tomorrow."

"We don't have to talk about treatment or the future," Lizzy assures him. "I'm okay taking the day."

"Good…."

"But how are we gonna tell Mila?" Lizzy asks, her voice cracking when she speaks her daughter's name.

"We aren't," Dean easily answers.

Lizzy stares at him for a beat, waiting for him to say he was kidding or he'd love to avoid telling her but they absolutely will. He doesn't. "We're gonna tell her. We have to."

"Why?" Dean wants to know, ready to avoid it at all costs.

"She's our daughter. Our _only_ daughter. She has every right to know what's going on in her family, especially when it's this big."

"We can lie, say it's something less scary," he shrugs it off.

"Dean…"

"I don't want her to know, Liz," Dean strongly states his opinion on the matter.

"That's not fair to her."

"No, this whole thing is what's not fair to her," he corrects. "She's got so much ahead of her. She'll be a senior in a few months. We have to go look at colleges… she has to _go_ to college. I don't want her decisions to be affected by me. I want her to go where ever she wants without feeling guilty for leaving. I don't want this to fuck up her life."

"It's going to change all of our lives..."

"Not hers," Dean strongly stops her. He's determined. "I won't let this affect her."

Lizzy closes her eyes, willing the tears to stop prickling her eyes and threaten to flow once more. "I won't lie to our daughter, Dean."

"You wouldn't do that for me?" Dean asks her.

"No."

"Not even if it's the wishes of a dying man?"

She stares daggers into him. "That's not funny!" she shouts as the tears break through again, pouring down her face after hearing him say such a thing.

"Damn it," Dean mutters, marching around the island to her. "I'm sorry. Poor taste, okay?" he says to her, holding her face in his hands.

She lunges forward, still sitting in her stool. Her arms grip around his middle hard and tight. "You're not fucking funny."

"I know," Dean nods, hugging her in return. They stay that way for some time, the warmth and love they have trying it's best to alieve the pain and fear. "Liz, you gotta believe I'm gonna fight this."

"I know you will," Lizzy tells him. "I'm just… scared."

"Me too," he admits, really meaning it. All he's about to go through sounds awful but he'd do it and more for his two girls. Fuck that, he'd dive into hell for them if it meant they'd be healthy and happy.

"We have to tell Mila," Lizzy quietly says with her cheek to his t-shirt, driving the point home.

"Tell Mila what?"

Dean and Lizzy's sights fly to the doorway as Mila walks into the kitchen. With her hand on the refrigerator door handle, about to pull it open, she stops when she sees her mother crying.

"Whoa. Mom? You alright?" Mila asks, walking to them with concern.

"Hey, honey," Lizzy takes her arms back and wipes her face hastily. "I thought you were at Megan's house for the day?"

"She had to go run errands with her mom. What's going on?" Mila asks, fear already gripping her. Her mother doesn't cry all that often. Not a good sign. "Why are you crying?"

Lizzy looks up at her husband with a pleading face. She wants to tell her so badly. Mila is their only girl. She should know what is happening around her, good news or not.

"Shit," Dean complains as he backs away from Lizzy and pulls out a second stool. He gestures for Mila to sit and she does.

"Dad?" she wonders, wide eyes on her father. He's overprotective and a total embarrassment on purpose but in the long run she knows she's a total daddy's girl. From watching Disney movies just the two of them every Sunday morning while cuddled on the couch to the day she had to tell him she got her first period while her mom was away with Aunt Lou for the weekend, they've been thicker than thieves. She's his world and she knows it.

"Mi, um…" he tries to start but the words die. He can't tell her. This is his nightmare, only topped by if something bad actually was happening to Mila.

"We went to see a specialist this morning," Lizzy takes over for him, clearing her throat to get her voice to work first. "An urologist."

"Why?"

"I've been feeling… weird lately," Dean tells her, trying to be truthful as much as it's killing him on the inside.

"Weird how?" Mila asks slowly, real fear now gripping her heart. She knows this isn't good already.

"Doesn't matter," Dean spares her the personal details. "The point is…"

"You dad has cancer," Lizzy says it quickly, getting it done for him. She knows he wouldn't be able to.

" _What_!?" Mila fires out, standing back onto her feet. Her eyes snap up onto Dean. "Dad!?"

"Um… yeah," he can't formulate much with how upset she already is. "I have prostate… cancer."

As Mila's green eyes fill up they switch back and forth between her parents in panic.

"We still have to get a second opinion… so we don't have a ton of information for you…."

That's as far as Dean makes it before Mila is slamming into him, hugging him not unlike is wife did just a moment before. She crushes him in a hug around his middle and he hugs her back right away. For the first time since he was given the terrible news, Dean's eyes betray him. Silent tears trail down his cheeks as Mila starts to openly cry.

"What does this mean?" she asks him, face buried in his shirt.

"It means… that cancer fucked with the wrong dude this time," Dean tells her, sniffling once. "Because it ain't winning."

"Dad," is all Mila says, sobbing. "How bad?"

"It isn't great but we don't know yet. The doctors need more time," Dean explains vaguely. "But I'm telling you, kid. I got this. Don't worry so much."

When the sopping wet eyes of his daughter look up at him with sadness and fright, his heart shatters.

"You think I'd ever leave you early?" he asks her, hands coming to her face. He wipes her eyes with his thumbs as he promises, "I'm not going anywhere, Mi. You know what a pain in the ass I am."

She nods, unable to speak.

"I'll be fine," Dean tells her as she once more presses her face to his shirt. "I will be. I promise…"

**OVER A YEAR LATER**

"Lizzy!?" Lou calls out as she walks into her sister's home without knocking. She has a feeling Lizzy wouldn't bother answering if all she did was knock anyways.

The house is a wreck. Clothes and random items everywhere, a layer of dust on everything. It looks disheveled and Lizzy never kept a messy home. It's been a really rough last month. Lou understands.

"Lizzy, I know you're here!" she calls out again and gets nothing in return. Mila arrived at their house an hour ago, looking to go for a ride in her dad's Impala with Alice, her best friend. Lou didn't want Lizzy to be alone, not now.

Walking up the stairs, Lou already knows where her sister is.

Making it to the bedroom she finds Lizzy sitting on the floor surrounded by all different items of men's clothing. Boots, flannel, denim, oil stained t-shirts, a pair of ratty sneakers, and an AC/DC Tour shirt in her hands.

"Lizzy," Lou kindly says her name as she walks forward. Kneeling onto the floor just outside the clothing circle surrounding Lizzy, she says, "What are you doing?"

Lizzy's hollow eyes look you at her sister, barely showing any form of happiness to see her. "I…" she shakes her head. "He's always such a teenager. His clothes…." She stops here and presses a hand over her mouth. "When he was in the hospital… then hospice… I just… I couldn't pick them up and put them away." She starts to full blown cry. "I wanted to nag him about doing it when he came home."

Lou doesn't know what she could possibly say to that so she just sits there and listens.

"God, he's such a slob," Lizzy cries, clutching the t-shirt tighter before bringing it to her face. Nose buried, she inhales the scent of him that she knows now has an expiration date. "Ugh, he always smelled so good. Even when we met, he smelled the same."

Lou's hand lands on her elbow, making her move her focus onto her sister. "I don't think you and Mila should stay here right now. Maybe you guys can move in with us for a few days, just to get past the shock…."

"I'm not shocked," Lizzy tells her, eyebrows wrinkled. "I'm… I don't know. I had time to realize this was going to happen. We knew for months that he wasn't gonna win. Hell, we spent the last half-year traveling everywhere because that's what he wanted to do with what time he had left… but now?" She lets out a sob and smells the shirt again. "I knew it would hurt. But I didn't know it'd hurt this fucking much."

"Lizzy…" Lou tries to speak to her but gets cut off.

"It hurts so fucking much, Lou," Lizzy hunches over and unleashes her sadness for the hundredth time this week. "Why did this have to happen? I don't know how to do this."

"Yes you do," Lou denies and leans in. She wraps her sister up, cradling her head as she cries so hard and soul deep. "Lizzy, you can get through this."

"It hurts too much…."

"But Mila needs you," she reminds her sister. "She's supposed to start school in two months. She needs to be in a good enough place to do that. You have to be strong for her."

"And then what?" Lizzy worries, tear-drenched eyes pleading for answer from her sister. "I live here all alone? Come home to a dark house after work, eat dinner alone, sleep in a cold bed… oh, god." She sobs hard with the thought. She'll never fall asleep next to the one man she loves more than life ever again. "I can't just be alone. We were supposed to enjoy our lives just us. This was supposed to be like when we were younger all over again when Mila went to college. We were supposed to walk around the house naked and fuck on the kitchen table midday if we wanted to…."

"And life sucks sometimes."

"Sucks!?" Lizzy outrages.

"Not a good enough word, I know," Lou concedes. "So… maybe you should live with us? Sell the house if it's too hard to be here."

"But it reminds me of him," Lizzy tells her. "He bought this house before we got together. He fixed it up himself. His fingerprints are everywhere." Pressing her hands to her face, she admits, "I don't know what to do."

Lou stay quiet for some time, letting Lizzy cry it out. This whole week has been awful. From the over-attended funeral services to having to bury their family member at the young age of fifty-one, it's been miserable. And Lizzy is very much lost now.

"He said he wouldn't let this take him," Lizzy sobs out. "Why did this take him?"

Lou wipes her eyes before the tears fall. She can't let Lizzy see her like this. She needs to be strong for her right now. "I don't really know. All I can say is… it's completely unfair. And Sam and I are worried about you."

" _I'm_ worried about me." She admits it quickly as she can. It's the truth and Lizzy isn't used to being this weak.

"So move to our place," Lou retries. "We want you with us right now. Mila too. This house is… too much right now. Just pack a bag and give it a week. And I'll come by with you now and then and we can deal with whatever needs to be done… one thing at a time. No rush."

Lizzy nods, her hands clutching the AC/DC t-shirt even harder.

"Good. I'll help you pack a bag…."

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**

Giving Lou time with her sister, Sam stays on the first floor. He didn't plan to even come into the house at all when they arrived. The moment he got a glimpse of the fixer-upper when they pulled up, his stomach was in knots. This house was like Dean's second child. He spent so many hours after work and on weekends rebuilding and adding and mending… even before he met Lizzy. For that reason it's hard to be there.

But he couldn't stay out. Dean's been gone for a week now and he misses his brother so badly it burns his chest. The wound is deep. They were still best friends when Dean lost his battle. He even came with Lizzy and Mila on half their trips, traveling to Greece, Iceland, and joining them for half their stay in Hawaii… Dean's final destination before he became too sick to leave home. He needed to be surrounded by his brother again.

In the living room, Lizzy's sad tone heard but not understood from the second floor, Sam regrets it. He can't breathe. From Dean's favorite old leather chair to his collection of campy action movies organized on a bookcase to the happy pictures on the fireplace mantle, it's too much.

Picking up one particular frame, the pain gets worse. It's a perfect moment capture between his brother and him. It was Mila's sixth birthday. She's dressed up as a princess in a blue, sparkly gown and tiara and she's sitting on Dean's lap in the backyard. Sam is sitting next to Dean as Mila and he are looking at each other, making silly faces. Dean's just watching, cracking up.

That was their family. They smiled, had fun, loved each other and it was the top priority. And their family is like that because of Dean. He was always the family first above all else leader. They all followed his example.

And their leader is gone.

Sam's never known life without his big brother in it. He's just always been there, picking him up when he fell and letting Sam lean on him whenever he needed it. Now Sam on his own. Sure, he has Lou and Lizzy… but it'll never be the same.

As he places the picture back onto the mantle, he hears footsteps coming down the stairs. It's then that he realizes he's been crying. Sam wipes his eyes hastily, Lizzy not needing another crying person in her life right now.

Stopping at the bottom of the staircase, Lizzy looks over and catches Sam's eyes. She's a wreck. Red-rimmed eyes and a blotchy face. Sam knows that even his he dried his eyes he can't look much better.

Lizzy ditches Lou as she stands next to her with a packed bag in hand. She marches for Sam and slams into him in a tight, miserable hug.

Clutching hard to her, Sam lets go once again. They both stand in the middle of the room, surrounded by everything that had to do with Dean and what made him happy, and they hold on, trying to figure out what now….

**EIGHT YEARS LATER**

"Hey!" Sam greets brightly, huge smile on his face as he walks into the hospital room in the maternity ward.

"Hey, Uncle Sam," Mila smiles wider than wide right back to see him as he sits up in her hospital bed. Her hair is up, her face is tired but bright, and she looks incredibly happy.

"Oh, wow," Sam grins when he makes his way over to the rocking chair, Lizzy sitting there and holding her brand new, hours old grandson. "Look at the hair on him!" The baby has a full head of light brown hair.

"Right?" Mila laughs, sounding very much like her late father. "Gets that from his dad."

"He must. You were bald as a cue ball for a year when you were born," Sam pokes fun as he looks down at the tiny sleeping bundle, standing next to Lizzy. "How you doing over here, grandma?"

"Ah, I love that name," Lizzy jokes, so damn excited to be a grandmother. "I'm doing awesome."

"Ha," Sam gets a look at the little boy's face. "Hey there, Hunter."

"He looks like his grandfather," Lizzy mentions quietly, her eyes glued to the tiny wonder in her arms. Hunter is a spitting image of Dean and his baby pictures already, it's clear as day to her. And for that reason alone she can't seem to give the boy over to anyone just yet, not even his own mom.

"Good. I hope he does," Sam smiles wistfully, loving the idea of that.

"He's so handsome," Lizzy gushes.

Hunter decides right then that he's hungry. He starts to cry.

"Oh, no," Lizzy pouts, know she has to give him up. "Oh, baby no. Grandma's not ready."

"And she never will be," Sam jokes and scoops up the crying baby from Lizzy. He grins at him lovingly. "Off to mom, kiddo." He knows that if he didn't take Hunter then Lizzy wouldn't give him up.

"Thanks, Uncle Sam," Mila grins and takes her son. She smiles wide the entire time, clearly overjoyed in the moment. She gets Hunter set up and soon enough he's eating.

"Where's the new dad?" Sam finally asks, noticing someone missing.

"He went home to pick up some things and check on Monkey," Mila explains where he husband is. "He took a onesie Hunter's been wearing for him to smell, get the pooch ready for having a little brother."

"I'm sure Lou is spoiling you dog as we speak," Sam laughs, knowing his wife. She loves Monkey, Mila and her husband's dog.

"Obviously," Mila laughs.

Sam then sees his opening. He looks at Lizzy. "Hey, why don't we give the new mom a second? We can grab a coffee and come back later."

"Do I have to?" Lizzy asks like a petulant child, never wanting to leave her grandson again.

"Yes," Sam says, laughing.

"Mom, it's cool. I don't mind a minute alone with Hunter."

"Okay," Lizzy nods, knowing she should give the new mom a moment to enjoy this. "Coffee it is." She points at Sam. "You're paying."

"Fair enough. I'll meet you at the elevator."

Lizzy gives him a suspicious look before grabbing her jacket and walking for Hunter as he eats. She runs her fingertips over his hair lovingly and tells him, "I'll be back, sweetie." She then leans into her daughter with a wide grin. "So proud of you," she quickly mentions and kisses her daughter's cheek. She then leaves the room and heads for the elevators.

Sam smiles at Mila as he opens the case on an iPad he brought with him. "While we're gone, I have something for you to watch."

As he sets up the iPad, propping it up on the rolling tray next to Mila's bed, she laughs. "I mean, I know I'm a TV junkie and all…."

"Not what this is," Sam tells her. "I just made a promise to someone that on the day you became a mom I'd show this to you. I'll send an email with it to you after, so you'll always have it. There's one for Hunter and any brothers or sisters Hunter might someday have too, once they're old enough."

"He's an only child," Mila rolls her eyes, knowing how destroyed she is after having him. "I'm so done!"

"You say that now," Sam winks. "Just press play and I'll see you in a bit."

Sam leans over and kisses Mila's cheek, Mila returning the gesture, and he leaves grinning.

Looking at the screen, Mila sees a still of her old living room growing up. It's a video. With curiosity, she presses play.

From off screen a man sits down in the old leather upholstered chair they got rid of years ago. Coming perfectly into frame is the face of a man she hasn't seen in years.

Lump in her throat already, Mila just whispers, "Dad?"

"Hey, kiddo," Dean says to her through the screen. "Long time, I know. I hope this isn't too weird or anything but once I knew how things were going to play out I decided to make some videos. Yeah, it's a bit morbid, but screw that. A dying man can do what he wants, I say."

Mile smiles as the first of the tears fall. Her dad. Every single day she's missed him dearly. Watching the strong, bold, big personality of his fade day after day as he fought valiantly for his life… nothing has ever been harder than that. Their bond was so fierce. And even if she knows he's still with her every single day, his absence has never gotten easier.

"So… this is awkward," Dean nods and makes Mila laugh. He's just as she remembers him. He took this right before the effects of treatment wore on him, changing his appearance. He looks like her daddy right now, before his strength was sapped. "Uh… well, if you're watching this that means you've just become a mother. Movel Tov, or whatever."

"We're not Jewish," Mila tells the screen with a grin.

"We're not Jewish so, uh, congrats," Dean corrects himself, making Mila laugh. "I'm really sorry I can't be there to see it. I'd give anything…." Dean looks away from the screen and stops there to collect himself. He then looks back when he can. "Your mother must be out of her mind right now. Ha, she's probably clingy and won't give the kid up to anyone. I don't know if we ever told you, but your mom wasn't always the way she is now. When we found out she was pregnant with you it was a shock. Sorry, Mila. You were unplanned."

"Lovely," Mila rolls her eyes before wiping them.

"But that doesn't mean we didn't want you. We did. We _really_ did and we love you so much… you are everything to us. And I'm sure you now understand that concept."

Mila nods, knowing she does. Hunter became her world the second she got her arms around him.

"Even if my grandkid was unexpected too… and I doubt he or she is since I know you're far more responsible than your mother and I ever were… I know that kid is loved and wanted and lucky to have you.

"Listen, parenting isn't easy. Okay? It's not. But it's worth every single sleepless night, scary moment, and unsure… everything you're gonna feel. And you're gonna second guess yourself. A lot. But don't. You're probably fine and you're just nervous. I second guessed everything from how I held you to how I wiped your butt. But I was fine. I really was. But if you really think you're sucking at being a mom, which you won't but you might think you are, call your mother. She'll get you through everything. And she'd be happy to help, you know that.

"Here's what you need to do, okay? One: get the Zeppelin pumping early. I mean, like yesterday. You have good taste in music because we forced it on you early and often. No grandkid of mine will be listening to Bieber and Taylor Swift, alright? Promise me that." He pauses. "No seriously. Promise. I'll hear if you don't."

"I promise," Mila swear to her dad through the video. "Done and done."

"Two: Bedtime is important. Get that little one to sleep at an early hour. It sounds counterintuitive but trust me, they'll sleep longer and be happier and easier to deal with. It took us over two months to figure that out. Don't be dumb like us. Plus, you need the nighttime to yourself and you're boyfriend… or husband. Or wife. I don't know who you ended up with and I don't know what college looked like for you. I don't judge… as long as they're treating my girl right. Are they? If not I'll kick their ass from beyond, trust that. I'll find a way."

Mila laughs again, the reminder of how funny her dad was getting to her.

"And three: stay connected to your, uh, we'll say husband because you liked guys before now. And I don't think you're irresponsible enough to have a baby before betting married. I know you, kid."

Mila grins.

"Don't let a kid ruin your relationship. Yes, you'll be snippy at points and you'll feel a bit disconnected and tired and like there's not enough time, but take time for yourselves. You have to. Or it could cause some real problems. You mom and I… we made sure to stay good in the beginning with you. I wasn't gonna let us crash and burn and I think it was for your benefit as well as ours. Plus… I love you mom. She's… well, let's just say I could never lose her. Never."

The brief look of sadness and devastation that sweeps across Dean's face lets Mila see it. He wasn't ready. He was never ready to leave his wife. Mila always knew her parents were deeply in love but to see it again, more tears fall down her face.

Quickly Dean puts the mask back on and appears just fine, strong even. "Good luck being a new mom, kiddo. I know you're gonna be great. I do. And I'll be watching out for you. Know that."

"I know," Mila tells him.

"Uh, so I don't really know what else to say. I probably shoulda wrote some stuff down or thought this through a little better. But you know me, I wing things."

"Yeah you do," she laughs a little.

"Just know how much I love you, Mila," Dean tries to sound tough but fails. His eyes start to shine a bit and he blinks a few times before continuing. "You are, without a doubt, the very best thing I ever did with my life. I'm sorry… I'm just sorry. I want to be there for this but it seems like I'm not being given much of a choice." Dean pauses to wipe his eye roughly and sniffle. "Make sure you spend every single second you can with your little one. It goes by so damn fast and you never know how much time you're gonna get. Just… don't waste any time, please."

"I promise," Mila swears, glancing down at her son before looking back at her dad.

Dean wipes at his eyes again. "Alright, time to wrap this up before I go all wimp on you. Mila, kiddo… I love you. Good luck. I'm with you, sweetheart. I am."

He nods a little, making Mila let out a sob with how much she loves and misses him.

Dean then stands up from the leather chair he'd been sitting in and disappears from the screen. The view then shakes a bit as the device recording him is handled. "How the hell… how do I turn this thing off…? Damnit, Sam. You were supposed to explain…."

The screen then goes black as Mila laughs hardily. Her dad did always hate technology to a degree and suck with it. The reminder was charming.

"What's so funny?"

Mila looks to the door of the room, her husband walking in with two takeout cups in hand.

"I, uh… my dad."

"You're dad?" he asks, completely confused by what she tells him. He knows her father passed away years before he met Mila.

"Yeah. Come here," she tells him, patting the small space left on the hospital bed. He sits and looks at the iPad screen in front of them. "I want you to meet my dad." Mila presses play on the video, more than excited to watch it again.

"Hey, kiddo," Dean's voice is heard once more. "Long time, I know…."

**THIRTY YEARS LATER**

"Bingo!"

"Son of a bitch!" Lou shouts with anger as she slams her bingo marker down onto the long fold out table, making a purple streak on the surface.

"Ava again!?" Lizzy gets just as angry, sitting back in her wheelchair as she peer back at her room neighbor. "Every freakin' time…."

"She cheats!" Lou says a bit too loudly. "Every week she wins!"

"Louise, pipe down," smirks the young man walking towards Ava to check her Bingo card for a win.

"Don't call me that, Aiden," she warns, smiling despite her remark. As he passes by her table she pinches his bottom.

"Lou! Hands to yourself."

"Sorry, kid. Can't be walking past me with cute little buns like those and not be prepared."

"Flirt," the young, handsome man says to her and he keeps walking towards the supposed winner. He checks her card and declare, "Winner."

"Damn it!" Lizzy gets fired up and caps her Bingo marker. "Another week, another loss."

"Eh, it's only dessert of your choice on Friday. No big deal," Lou sarcastically says, knowing the prize is actually awesome. Ava has requested carrot cake every time she's won. Everyone else is over the carrot cake.

"Another week of cream cheese frosting. That stuff sits like a brick in my stomach!" Lizzy shouts back to Ava.

"And the next day? Ooh, lord. Not pretty!" Lou agrees as she packs up their things. She rips her and Lizzy's bingo cards in half and leaves them on the table out of spite.

"I'm done," Lizzy sits back with a huff as Lou stands up. "I'm never playing this god forsaken game again. Ever."

"We say that every week," Lou reminds as she grabs the handles of Lizzy's wheelchair, pulling her back from the table to make their way to their rooms.

"And every week we come back, I know," Lizzy replies, her voice weak. She's been feeling off this week. She knows she's not doing well but she keeps quiet.

"And we'll be back next week too."

"Yeah…." Lizzy leaves it at that as Lou pushes them very slowly down the hall of the nursing home.

"Isn't Mila coming tomorrow… with the grandkids?" Lou asks, remembering Lizzy mentioning that.

"Yeah," she nods. "Hey, uh… could you call them for me in the morning?"

Lou's face wrinkles as they move along. "Why?"

"Just… in case," Lizzy comments vaguely. "I've been sleeping too late. Don't want them arriving before I can put my face on."

"Put your face on?" her ninety-one year old sister asks with shock. "What are you, old?"

"You're older," Lizzy smirks. "Can you?"

"I got you covered."

"You gonna go see Sam tomorrow?" Lizzy wonders.

"Yeah, think so," Lou nods. "Alice is coming by. And the flowers I had her plant might have died in the first frost. Want to bring more."

"That's nice," Lizzy comments, knowing Lou likes to visit Sam's grave once a week if she can get one of her kids to bring her. Evan brought her last week. Alice this week. They've done this for the two years since Sam passed.

"You good?" Lou asks as they reach Lizzy's room.

"I'll call Aiden for help," Lizzy winks at Lou.

"Don't touch my boyfriend," Lou laughs a little and walks into the room next to Lizzy's. "G'night, bitch."

"Night," Lizzy says and before Lou's door can shut she calls out, "Lou?"

"Yeah?" she peeks her head out.

"I love you," Lizzy says to her, something they don't really say every day.

Lou's face wrinkles before she says, "You're going soft on me." Her door shuts.

After Aiden helps her to bed, Lizzy sets up her old, nearly useless iPad on her bedside table. She doesn't need it to do more than one specific thing so the age of it means nothing in the long run.

"Hey, Liz," she hears the familiar voice greet and like always her heart swells.

Looking at the screen she sighs. She goes to bed like this every single night, to the voice and face she misses so dearly it hurts her.

Dean smiles on the screen. "Looking damn good these days. You been working out."

"Funny man," Lizzy drowsily comments, laying back in her propped up bed.

"I know this might be weird and it might be kinda morbid, but I want you to always remember me as I was, not as I'm gonna be once I got through all the treatment and crap. Just in case this… doesn't work out, I want you to know a couple things."

Lizzy smiles and closes her eyes, knowing what he's going to say. She's heard it millions of times by now so she just lets her late husband's voice fill her soul as she drifts off.

"I got a secret stash of money. I know, I know. You're probably pissed that I didn't tell you. But cancer runs in my family and drunk drivers are a thing so in case something like this happened I wanted to cover some big costs and leave you in a good place. You should have enough for final expenses and a good chunk of the medical bills you'll be saddled with. I'm sorry about the financial burden. It's fucked up that this happens and this is how it goes.

"My car. I need you to keep it up. I know you don't know shit about cars but let my mechanic help you. I trust him implicitly. And the day Mila chooses a school I need you to hand her the keys. My dad gave her to me… I want to give her to Mila. I know right now she might not fully understand what that car is but she will. I know my girl. She gets how important it is and the second she takes it out on her own and people fawn all over it… it'll make sense to her. Just please, check on Baby now and then. Make sure she's cared for. Please?"

"Yes," Lizzy whispers in agreement.

"The house. Please don't move. I know you might not want to be there if things go south but please, I want you and Mila to stay. It's our home. I practically rebuilt that place and even if I started before I even met you… I was making a home for my family. Please, please… stay. I want my hard work to mean something. You can take all my shit and toss it. It's only stuff. Just stay there."

Lizzy smiles in her sleep. She never moved out until she had to go to the nursing home due to her declining health. She didn't want to burden Mila with caring for her anymore. Now her grandson Hunter moved in, living there with his wife and their twin boys. Her great grandsons. That's a beautiful thing.

"Uh… Liz. I, uh… I can't believe this is happening still. I can't…. I don't want to leave you. I don't want leave our little girl right before she moves on to college. It scares me more that I'm leaving you alone than death does. I just… I'm so sorry.

"You need to know that you are the absolute love of my life. You're…." Dean ducks his head for a second and wipes his eyes. When he looks back up he doesn't bother to hide that he's crying, not from his wife. Even with her eyes closed she can see it all as she has so many times before. "As long as I had you nothing else mattered. You changed everything when I met you and even if you didn't see it at first… I did. Hell, even if you still never saw it I'd still be waiting for you to this day. If you ever watch this video… just know that no matter where I am now, I'm still waiting for you. Hopefully I end up waiting for a long time…."

His voice starts to get further and further away as Lizzy slips under.

"I'll be waiting for you…."

Lizzy opens her eyes to find she's standing in the middle of her living room in the home she shared with Dean for years and years. Considering she's been at the nursing home without leaving for two years, it's been a while but it looks the same. Even the pictures on the mantle and the leather chair are right where they belong.

"Told you I'd wait for you."

Turning sharply around, Lizzy looks to the source of the voice. Standing in the doorway of the living room is Dean, her Dean. Not the frail man that he was when he passed away. No. He's the guy she met when she was younger, his eyes bright and playful and his gray hair gone.

"Dean?" Lizzy questions, looking at him with confusion. She's had dreams of him in the past, many of them, but they never felt this year.

"Made it to ninety. Damn. You always did like making me wait," Dean smirks at her, his face overjoyed under the coolness he's trying to keep.

"Made it to ninety?" Lizzy asks and hears her own voice. It's younger, bolder. It isn't as weak as it's become in her later years. Looking down at her hands she sees they aren't wrinkled and thin. And she's standing in the middle of the room. She hasn't stood up for months. She feels good, also like her younger self. With wide eyes she peers at Dean for answers.

"Baby, you're done," Dean tells her, taking a cautious step forward.

"Done?"

"Living down there," Dean says, nodding downward.

It clicks. "I died."

"Yeah, your time ran out," tells her, stepping closer again. He reaches out to her, taking both of her hands. "And thank god you kept being a good person after I left. You made it upstairs."

"Heaven?" Lizzy asks, smiling when she sees him up close. So damn handsome. So much like she always remembered.

"Yep, reserved for the good and… the hot. Damn, almost forgot how hot you were."

As Dean checks her out, Lizzy's mind flies a mile a second. Heaven. She died. She's in heaven. And she's with Dean again.

"Son of a bitch, you look good," Dean smiles as he once more meets her eyes.

She grins bashfully, feeling something she hasn't felt in decades. She lets go of his hands to cup his face, that same stubble she remembers under her touch, feeling like sandpaper and home. She looks over every inch of his face. "You look beautiful," Lizzy tell him, her voice chokes. "And holy fuck, I missed you."

She pulls him down hard and into a kiss, one that's deep and filled with every ounce of love she's held onto for him. To say she missed him was an understatement of all understatements. She never remarried, she never dated. She knew no one could come close to Dean so she never bothered.

"Mm-mm," Dean smiles slickly as he pulls away from her. "Now _that_ was worth waiting for."

"Just that?" she smirks, flirting with him immediately. She defaults right back into the younger person she always was with them. It's just that easy.

"You offering more?" he asks with sheer hope.

"I mean, are we allowed to fuck in heaven or is that, like… frowned upon?"

"Heaven doesn't care who's banging who," Dean shakes his head. "It's in the handbook."

"There's a heaven handbook!?" Lizzy asks incredulously.

"Yep. I'll let you see it later," Dean says quickly as he moves to scoop her up. He holds her bridal style as he kisses her again. He then starts quickly ascending the stairs in their well-loved, never changed home. "First… we're heading upstairs for a long ass time."

**THE END**


End file.
